Craig, Ishmel, Mayfield, Paul, and the 12 others that I fought in Operation Iraqi Freedom who helped win the war overseas but lost the war at home. These were people that I had the upmost respect for that completed suicide because of the stigma of getting help, and the stigma that the military created telling us that if we went to "sick call" we would be considered "sick call rangers" and looked at poorly and be passed up on for promotions. These were people that I called brothers, that I fought with, that I bled with. These were people that I was shocked to hear that they lost the battle. The war in the Middle East is over, but the war with suicide and mental health continues strongly in our back yards. I too have struggled with my own mental health and thoughts of suicide to the point that I did stick a gun in my mouth, and if not for my dog coming into the room at the right moment, recognizing that I was struggling and gently placing her head on my lap I too may not be here today writing this. However, I survived, I've won my war, and I am always mindful that the battle can continue again. Every loss I hear of I am in shock, disbelief, mourning and anger. These brothers of mine who have passed were some of the strongest people I ever knew, much stronger than me, and they died. They ended their lives because the could not find their demons any longer. Word of the news has made me sad, confused and contemplate my own wellbeing. Word of the news had done something else. It has made me grateful that I am alive, appreciate what I have and care less about what I don't have. Word of the news has made me angry and dedicate my life to helping others. My own mental health struggles caused me to drink heavily, get into fights, contemplate and attempt suicide, and even get arrested on a couple of occasions. However, winning my own battle has made me stronger. Today I have a beautiful family, a career, self-respect and respect from others and goals for my future. My mental health has not made me weaker; it has made me stronger and as a result, I dedicate my life to helping others. Today I am a licensed therapist, who works primarily with those who have attempted or came close to completing suicide. As well as those with severe mental illness, addiction and trauma. I volunteer my time in Alcoholics Anonymous and SMART Recovery as well as Saint Vincent De Paul helping those who feel they can't help themselves. I share my story; I have no fear to share my story because it helps. Truth is, may practitioners say, "think about your family, your future, your happiness" Those who have made up their minds have already thought about all of those things, and they decided "my family will move on, my pain will stop, goals and dreams die with me." In my hundreds of patients who have thoughts of suicide they typically want one thing. A safe place talk, cry and vent without advice, pity or sympathy. The most beautiful thing happens as well. Because I am who I am, I have friends, fellow vets reach out to admit to me that they are having dark thoughts in a tough battle, and they get help. Sadly though, not enough do. The stigma is still there, the battle continues on. We're trying, but we have a long way to go. It is my hopes to complete my doctorates in behavioral health and not only advance my own knowledge but get to a place where I can help others learn and improve their skills, reduce barriers to mental health and destroy the stigma of mental health. If we can save one person, and we can work to save one more person than we've done our jobs. Let's try and help even more people. Thank you for your time.

Bettering people's mental health has become so important to me that I have dedicated my life to it. Today I work as a licensed Professional Counselor, and I am pursuing an advanced degree in obtaining my Doctorates in Behavioral Health so as to not only treat mental health but to train others to become better at providing mental health services. I am active in Alcoholics Anonymous and SMART recovery consistently volunteering my time to help others who have struggled with addiction and mental illness as well as volunteer at certain organizations such as Saint Vincent De Paul offering my time with the homeless and working to provide them with hope and motivation to hopefully change their own lives. I'd love to tell you that this was just something that I woke up one day and wanted to do, or that I learned from my parents to always help others. However, that is simply not the case. The reality of my journey to this point in my life is my own mental health and those who are close to me. I was raised by parents who had an addiction to drugs. They weren't bad people, but they had their own mental illness. Though they were never diagnosed or treated, but I know that they had them. My mother has PTSD from years of physical abuse by my father and my father likely struggled with anxiety, depression and PTSD from his own trauma sustained by his stepfather as a child. Though they were good people, drugs made them anything but. I grew up with a mother who sold drugs, transported drugs, used drugs, commit identify theft and manipulated my brother and me into helping her do these things. My father became a monster when high, often beating my mother, my brother and eventually me. As a result of their mental health, we ended up moving every 6 months due to paranoia, being homeless on the streets and at times in motels if we were lucky. I watched my parents get arrested, and my brother and I get carted off to foster homes and group homes. I saw my brother become my father, with a drug addiction, abusive tendencies, and a habit of getting arrested. And I soon would develop my own mental health. Because of genetics and childhood, I struggled myself. Moving constantly and being told that under no circumstances do you ever tell anyone family secrets, I rarely had friends that I could become close to. I became awkward, bullied, and afraid. I started to hang out with the rejects, smoke weed, drink, and often contemplate suicide. I would later join the military in hopes that this would change my life as I started to see myself getting into trouble and wanted nothing more than to be different than my family. However, going to war while in the military would mean that I would be shot at, shoot back, and watch friends that became like brothers be killed and know that there was nothing I could do about it. The simple fact that we would roll out of the wire and not see combat that day could be even more damaging to my mental health as we were always on alert. My own struggles with mental health and addiction would lead me to getting arrested and losing everything I had (which wasn't much) I decided from this point forward that I would not be a victim, but instead I would be a fighter. I have spent my life sense then growing myself as a person. Improving my physical health, financial health, relationships and my mental health. Today I have gotten help for my mental health and addiction. Sadly thought, I have been notified too many times of friends who have completed suicide, friends that get arrested, or overdose because they have not fought their demons. Luckily at times, because of who I am and what I have accomplished, I do have friends reach out and ask for help when they are suffering. I have had fellow Vets reach out when there are relationship challenges, I have had others in recovery reach out when they are struggling with mental illness or cravings to relapse. They do reach out. Sadly though, this does not happen as often as I would like it to. Still to this day, I find that friends die. Most recently my very first soldier from when I became a team leader had completed suicide due to difficulties with his wife. This is why I have dedicated myself to fighting mental health and helping others grow. I do in hopes that others will talk, others will come forward, others will seek help. I do it for Craig, Paul, Ishmel, Papst, and all of my other friends that have completed suicide over the years. The war in the Middle East may be over, but the war at home with mental health is still very strong, and I will not stop fighting it. Thank you for your time.

Bettering people's mental health has become so important to me that I have dedicated my life to it. Today I work as a licensed Professional Counselor, and I am pursuing an advanced degree in obtaining my Doctorates in Behavioral Health so as to not only treat mental health but to train others to become better at providing mental health services. I am active in Alcoholics Anonymous and SMART recovery consistently volunteering my time to help others who have struggled with addiction and mental illness as well as volunteer at certain organizations such as Saint Vincent De Paul offering my time with the homeless and working to provide them with hope and motivation to hopefully change their own lives. I'd love to tell you that this was just something that I woke up one day and wanted to do, or that I learned from my parents to always help others. However, that is simply not the case. The reality of my journey to this point in my life is my own mental health and those who are close to me. I was raised by parents who had an addiction to drugs. They weren't bad people, but they had their own mental illness. Though they were never diagnosed or treated, but I know that they had them. My mother has PTSD from years of physical abuse by my father and my father likely struggled with anxiety, depression and PTSD from his own trauma sustained by his stepfather as a child. Though they were good people, drugs made them anything but. I grew up with a mother who sold drugs, transported drugs, used drugs, commit identify theft and manipulated my brother and me into helping her do these things. My father became a monster when high, often beating my mother, my brother and eventually me. As a result of their mental health, we ended up moving every 6 months due to paranoia, being homeless on the streets and at times in motels if we were lucky. I watched my parents get arrested, and my brother and I get carted off to foster homes and group homes. I saw my brother become my father, with a drug addiction, abusive tendencies, and a habit of getting arrested. And I soon would develop my own mental health. Because of genetics and childhood, I struggled myself. Moving constantly and being told that under no circumstances do you ever tell anyone family secrets, I rarely had friends that I could become close to. I became awkward, bullied, and afraid. I started to hang out with the rejects, smoke weed, drink, and often contemplate suicide. I would later join the military in hopes that this would change my life as I started to see myself getting into trouble and wanted nothing more than to be different than my family. However, going to war while in the military would mean that I would be shot at, shoot back, and watch friends that became like brothers be killed and know that there was nothing I could do about it. The simple fact that we would roll out of the wire and not see combat that day could be even more damaging to my mental health as we were always on alert. My own struggles with mental health and addiction would lead me to getting arrested and losing everything I had (which wasn't much) I decided from this point forward that I would not be a victim, but instead I would be a fighter. I have spent my life sense then growing myself as a person. Improving my physical health, financial health, relationships and my mental health. Today I have gotten help for my mental health and addiction. Sadly thought, I have been notified too many times of friends who have completed suicide, friends that get arrested, or overdose because they have not fought their demons. Luckily at times, because of who I am and what I have accomplished, I do have friends reach out and ask for help when they are suffering. I have had fellow Vets reach out when there are relationship challenges, I have had others in recovery reach out when they are struggling with mental illness or cravings to relapse. They do reach out. Sadly though, this does not happen as often as I would like it to. Still to this day, I find that friends die. Most recently my very first soldier from when I became a team leader had completed suicide due to difficulties with his wife. This is why I have dedicated myself to fighting mental health and helping others grow. I do in hopes that others will talk, others will come forward, others will seek help. I do it for Craig, Paul, Ishmel, Papst, and all of my other friends that have completed suicide over the years. The war in the Middle East may be over, but the war at home with mental health is still very strong, and I will not stop fighting it. Thank you for your time.

Bettering people's mental health has become so important to me that I have dedicated my life to it. Today I work as a licensed Professional Counselor, and I am pursuing an advanced degree in obtaining my Doctorates in Behavioral Health so as to not only treat mental health but to train others to become better at providing mental health services. I am active in Alcoholics Anonymous and SMART recovery consistently volunteering my time to help others who have struggled with addiction and mental illness as well as volunteer at certain organizations such as Saint Vincent De Paul offering my time with the homeless and working to provide them with hope and motivation to hopefully change their own lives. I'd love to tell you that this was just something that I woke up one day and wanted to do, or that I learned from my parents to always help others. However, that is simply not the case. The reality of my journey to this point in my life is my own mental health and those who are close to me. I was raised by parents who had an addiction to drugs. They weren't bad people, but they had their own mental illness. Though they were never diagnosed or treated, but I know that they had them. My mother has PTSD from years of physical abuse by my father and my father likely struggled with anxiety, depression and PTSD from his own trauma sustained by his stepfather as a child. Though they were good people, drugs made them anything but. I grew up with a mother who sold drugs, transported drugs, used drugs, commit identify theft and manipulated my brother and me into helping her do these things. My father became a monster when high, often beating my mother, my brother and eventually me. As a result of their mental health, we ended up moving every 6 months due to paranoia, being homeless on the streets and at times in motels if we were lucky. I watched my parents get arrested, and my brother and I get carted off to foster homes and group homes. I saw my brother become my father, with a drug addiction, abusive tendencies, and a habit of getting arrested. And I soon would develop my own mental health. Because of genetics and childhood, I struggled myself. Moving constantly and being told that under no circumstances do you ever tell anyone family secrets, I rarely had friends that I could become close to. I became awkward, bullied, and afraid. I started to hang out with the rejects, smoke weed, drink, and often contemplate suicide. I would later join the military in hopes that this would change my life as I started to see myself getting into trouble and wanted nothing more than to be different than my family. However, going to war while in the military would mean that I would be shot at, shoot back, and watch friends that became like brothers be killed and know that there was nothing I could do about it. The simple fact that we would roll out of the wire and not see combat that day could be even more damaging to my mental health as we were always on alert. Fast forward to today, I have gotten help for my mental health and addiction. Sadly thought, I have been notified too many times of friends who have completed suicide, friends that get arrested, or overdose because they have not fought their demons. This is why I have dedicated myself to fighting mental health and helping others grow. Thank you.

Hello. My name is Matthew Heydon. I served 6 years in the Army; the last 2.5 years was as a Sergeant. During my time in the Army, I became a gunner, team leader, and a squad leader. To say that the army helped me in life would be an understatement. In reality, the Army saved my life. I was born to drug addicted parents living well below the poverty line. During my childhood I saw my dad be violent towards my family, I watched my parents go to jail on multiple occasions and me and my brother go to foster care. We lived house to house, couch to couch, motel to motel, and even street to street. My whole time growing up I was never to talk about this to other people in fear that child services would be called. I knew living this life was not for me and I set out to change my life for the better. I did not want to become another statistic. Psychologist, teachers, family and other adults all thought the same thing "Matt would become just like his parents and the generational curse would continue". In fact, I heard a psychologist tell my mother this exact thing. I used this as fuel, to grow myself to always push myself, to be better the next day than I was today. However, I would find myself in my teens getting into trouble, getting into fights, stealing, using people, drinking, smoking and doing everything that those "professionals" said I would. I knew that I had to get away from my neighborhood if I was ever going to have a chance at life. I moved to Utah where I had honest family to try and change my life. Unfortunately, you can take the kid out of the ghetto, but you can't always take the ghetto out of the kid. It was only a short time before I started getting in trouble in Utah as well. Then one day at my job as a car wash attendant, an Army recruiter came to get his car washed and started speaking about the military. He didn't try to recruit me, just talked about it. As it turns out his office was across the street. I went there the next day to talk to him and I can recall telling him that In Arizona all I did was get into trouble and I moved to Utah to change that, and I found myself in the same shoes only a month after arriving here. He had agreed to help me join the military. You see, I had the determination and the drive. But I was a high school dropout, I didn't know where my Birth Certificate was, and I didn't have anyone to push me. My own father told me that if I joined the Army, I would be dead to him. This recruiter was able to help me pass my GED, get my birth certificate and get everything else I needed to join. Most importantly, he kept me motivated after I had joined. Today I am a Veteran, but I am a therapist. I help out in my church, I volunteer with my children in food drives, I am apart of Alcoholics Anonymous and help others with their recovery from addiction. I have worked with the homeless, helped them get off the streets, and find jobs. Despite what others said, I have broken the generational curse. None of this would have ever happened if not for my time in the Army. The Army taught me how to be a leader.

Imagine a kid who grew up in a low socioeconomic household to parents who were addicted to methamphetamine and constantly in and out of jail. Imagine this kid grew up, going from house to house, foster care to foster care and never feeling like he really belongs. Imagine this kid hearing the psychologist tell his mother that he would be just as bad as them if not worse because of the things he was seeing. Imagine this kid was told by teachers not to worry about college because I would never get it due to my grades and misconduct and to focus on a trade school and eventually dropped out of school because nobody believed in him. Now imagine this same kid having all that change for him simply because he decided that he would have a different life than what everyone assumed was his destiny. This kid is me and this is my story of how the Army changed my life. I woke up one day and wanted to have a life that I was proud of, a job that people would be proud of me having. Meeting a recruiter at the local carwash gave me that possibility. He helped me obtain my GED so that I could join, helped me through the process of what to say and helped me enroll easily. I then entered what was a hurricane on chaos. Never did I think a bunch of angry men that made me look tiny would be screaming at me in 2007 and I would let them. Not only would these men scream at me, put me down and destroy any self-will that I had, but they would build me back up. Today as a result, I am a great leader, who respects people, puts their needs before his own and works endlessly to get the job done. I always remember my warrior ethos. "I will always place the mission first, I will never quit, I will never accept defeat, and I will never leave a fallen comrade. I will admit, my time in the Army was challenging. I went to war, I had to endure extreme heat, long work hours, dirt caked on my skin, uniforms with salt rings from sweating, and going days without showers due to the water trucks no making it to refill our showers because they were hit by IED's. I saw friends get hurt, and saw friends get killed. I experienced toxic leadership and developed depression, anxiety, PTSD and an alcohol addiction. However, because of the Army I was also able to get help for it all. I now work as a therapist, helping others who struggled as I did. I am a leader and a good one at that. I have a family, and self-respect. I continue to put the mission first, I don't accept defeat, I never quit, and I will never leave a fallen comrade. I am an American Soldier, all thanks to the Army. Thank you.

To say my path to education is unique would be an understatement. Today I am a simi successful family man who's life's passion has been helping people through some of their most challenging mental health struggles. However, this was not always the case. Growing up in the late 80's and 90's I had parents that were addicted to methamphetamine. Getting high became all they cared about. They didn't care about work, shelter, or even life. I can't say they didn't care about their kids, but I can say they did not care about our educations. As a result, I rarely went to school unless I wanted to. There were also times when we were homeless, and they wouldn't let me go to school in fear that the school would find out that I was homeless and get the authorizes involved. Honestly, if it wasn't for the "No Child Left Behind Act" I probably would have never advanced past the 6th grade. Eventually I would drop out in the beginning of my 10th grade year. Having a lack of education does not let you have much in terms of a career. I was able to get a job as a Dog Groomer which paid alright for being a 17-year-old kid, but I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do long term. Unfortunately, without a diploma, not a lot of people are willing to hire you. Eventually I was approached by an Army Recruiter who convinced me that the Military would give me a better life, but I had to have at least a GED to enter. I found myself having a passion for improving my life and not ending up on the same path as my parents. I certainly wasn't an unintelligent person, I just didn't like going to school and had the freedom to not go as a kid, but I knew getting a GED was what I had to do. After receiving my GED and joining the Army I thought my time with education would be over. However, the Military is actually very big on education and constantly we were attending training and educational training. However, college was something I never thought I would do. But then a crazy, aggressive, very intimidating Sergeant Major took me on as a project and she kept pushing me to start college courses. Not to get a degree or anything, but to obtain promotion points so that I can be promoted to Sergeant. When the Sergeant Major tells you to do something, you can only say no for so long. After obtaining a few credits from an online university. I thought I was done. However, upon my exit from the military I learned that I qualified for a military program that would pay me monthly to go to college. This was a great deal and one I was not going to pass up. With that being said, I enrolled in college to pursue an education in Psychology. What started out as a simple way to earn money became a passion. Not only did it become a passion, but it became a life altering gift that I had no idea existed at the time. Unfortunately, while the military was an amazing decision that helped me become the leader I am today. It also greatly affected my mental health. Through combat, loss of friends that I considered family, and trauma sustained as a child. I developed crippling Anxiety, Depression and PTSD. I also developed a serious alcohol addiction that would cause me to lose any respect, friends, and sanity that I once had. As a result, my mental health became worse, and I would eventually find myself in jail. This lit a passion inside of me. I developed a goal to accomplish things that were never expected of me. Developing a family, having a career, and completing college. Not only did I go on to earn a bachelor's in psychology, but I went on to obtain a master's in professional counseling. Throughout my life I was always expected to fail. My parents didn't succeed, my brother didn't succeed. Why should I? I was destoned to become an addict, a criminal, a low life and continue the generational curse that affected my family for decades. However, after jail I decided that this would not the case, this would not be my end. I now hope to not only be the first person in my family to go to college, but to become the first person to earn a Doctorates. Today I have an amazing family, career, home, and life. I want to be able to show my kids that they can do everything they set their minds to. I want to show them, the world and the doubters that with dedication, hard work, and a desire to grow, a poor kid from the ghetto with addict parents, a history of homelessness, and trauma can go on to accomplish great things. And if I can do it, anybody can do it.

What have I learned about myself and the world around me through my experiences with PTSD? I learned that I was a survivor. Let me take you back to a time as a child, when my father and mother were both smoking methamphetamine, breaking the law with Identity theft, bad checks, and drug dealing. My mother was great, but my father was abusive, mostly towards her, then my brother, and then finally me. The actions of my parents led to watching my parents get arrested, released, and arrested again multiple times. It also led to us moving every 6-12 months like clockwork, living on the streets in a van, and overall mistrust of the world. Living this way, I decided I wanted to change my life and joined the United States Army. However, I dropped out of High School in the 10th grade. My goal of joining the military would lead to my getting my GED. After successfully joining the military, I was shot at, watched friends get killed, and saw things that no human should ever have to see. After my time in the military, I acted as a victim with no direction in life which led me to an alcohol addiction, misusing others, and deciding that I would spend my life alone. However, something changed within me. After getting arrested, I came to terms with my addiction and my PTSD. I decided to fight back, no longer be a victim but a survivor. I went to church, saved by God, moved to Arizona, created my own family, and discovered myself. I discovered that I am a great father, great husband, hard worker, and great friend. I learned that everything I went through as a child and in the military led me to become the person I am today, and if any of that didn't happen, I might have become someone completely different. What did I learn about myself from my PTSD? I learned that I am a survivor and strong. And because I learned this, I went from a homeless teenager to, a high school dropout with no family and an alcohol addiction. To a family man, who has been sober for 9 years, has an amazing family, has a master's degree about to go to school for a doctorate, and a great career as a therapist who helps other broken people become healed just as I have. I have hope, love, faith, and a drive to take on the world.

My life has been a whirlwind full of ups and downs, such as a house dropped on the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz. But this story has a happy ending. The darkness found the light again. Mental Illness made me believe I was a victim, but it showed me how strong one can truly be. I am the child of drug addicts, of criminals, of those who were up to no good. My father was abusive, and my mother was full of love but could not put the dope down, leave my abusive father, or obtain a regular job when the easy money was so fast. Despite her faults, I knew I was always loved by her. Even though she loved me, she would leave me and go to Heaven when I was only 13. As my dad's addiction grew, we would experience homelessness, often sleeping in a van on the beaches of California, trying to get enough money to buy a large serving of fries from McDonalds, and now and then able to stay in a motel so we could enjoy a regular bed. Eventually, I would attempt to find a healthy family and join the Army. Of course, I was a high school dropout who barely knew how to spell basic words. I had to get my GED, and though it took me multiple tries, I eventually got in and felt that I would go on to grow. I got to learn brotherhood, strength, and freedom in the Army. But Iraq would show me things no human should ever have to see. This would all lead to the development of a significant alcohol addiction that would destroy any chance of a happy life, and push anyone decent away, leading me to break the law myself and spend time in Jail. I would be in my mid-20s with a criminal record, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, and a craving for a bottle of Jack. I knew that something had to change. God, Alcoholics Anonymous, and a little luck would lead me to a better life. I was able to go to therapy and work on myself, my PTSD, my depression, my anxiety. I met a healthy human being who was patient with me, I would meet an older man who I would call my sponsor, and he would teach me that the most important part of living is growing. I a high school dropout would go on to get a master's degree in professional counseling and go on to help others with their own trauma, addiction, and behavioral issues. I would have beautiful, amazing kids. I would own my own home and never be homeless again, though at times I do worry that there is always a chance. Now I have made a new goal to obtain a Doctorate in Behavioral Health and teach others how to help those who are broken, grow clinics to help more, and do my part in making the world a better place. Yes, life started like a house being dropped by a witch. But now it is so much more, I found my "no place like home" and I was no longer a victim. I was a survivor.