“Can you call me? I’m having a crisis.”
Sitting at the dinner table, I receive an ambiguous text from my friend Max. After scarfing down the last few bites of my Greek salad, I speed over to the staircase, head into my bedroom, and throw on my headphones. Max joins the FaceTime and guiltily confesses that he has started dating Ellie, our friend Evan’s ex. Immediately, questions flood my mind.
Why did Max have to start dating the one person Evan has had feelings for? How will Evan take the news? Has he even moved on? How could knowledge of their relationship impact Evan emotionally?
Despite the many thoughts and questions swirling through my mind, I stay silent, letting Max finish giving his perspective before I speak. Seeing how this stress has weighed on Max’s mind, I know to comfort him before moving forward.
“The fact you’ve come to talk about this shows how much you care about Evan, and I admire your concern for how this could hurt him.”
With Max visibly calmer, we begin to discuss the best way of approaching Evan about the topic.
I know what you’re thinking: the ‘crisis’ at hand represents the passing problems within a high school friend group. And while this situation will likely be forgotten within a year, I can’t help but worry that handling it poorly could hurt my friends. As my friend group’s de facto advice giver, I use listening skills to help ensure emotional well-being.
My transition into this unofficial position came somewhat naturally. Early on in my friendships, I established a habit of staying up late on FaceTime with my friends. These late-hour conversations naturally invited more personal, introspective discussions. As my friends placed more trust in my judgment, I found myself confronted with deeper, more complicated topics.
When one of my most pensive friends expressed her latest feelings of existential dread, I employed the knowledge I acquired from psychology and philosophy podcasts like The Sisyphus 55 Podcast to help present alternative ways of approaching life. And when my closest friend returned from a brief visit to a crisis center, I gave her a space to express her thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment. Whether a call lasts five minutes or three hours, I leave feeling fulfilled to have helped a friend reach greater comfort in their day-to-day lives.
I know the feeling of existential dread myself all too well. The first year of the pandemic brought it on for me, and the isolation from my friends at the same time as the onsite of puberty was, shall we say, less than completely ideal. I’m very lucky that I had a good support structure with my parents, but at the time I didn’t want to talk to them. I did talk to my friends some, and that helped, and realizing that it helped me to have them listen, it made me want to be there to support others.
Progressing throughout high school, I hoped to find a way to help bring comfort to an even larger audience of people. I entered into an internship at the district office of Congressman Andy Kim, where I provided first-hand service to hundreds of individuals that I never knew personally. Throughout my time at the internship, I found myself employing the same techniques I had developed over three years within my circle of friends. Each caller to the office represented an entire life story, a request for aid and support during a time of immense hardship. I answered calls about Social Security issues, homelessness, Medicare, unemployment, veterans’ needs, and even an international child abduction case.
The people I spoke to felt unheard and, at times, deeply frustrated. Through each conversation, I made sure to serve as an outlet for both emotional and governmental support. I sent out resource guides and contact information for assistance groups, explained legal barriers so that each constituent could decide on plans that would best address their personal crises, and, most importantly, I provided an open ear in their government, making sure they know that their struggles aren't being ignored.
As I progress through education and into a career, my goal is to attend law school so that I can enter into a public service position where I can advocate for the introduction of trust and care to the broader American government. By adding components of active listening and personal connections to our nation’s support systems, we can ensure that Americans no longer feel underserved and underrepresented. I will promote these improvements so that our government truly reflects the ideal of being “for the people.”