My Story,
Losing a family member to suicide by hanging was one of the most devastating and life-altering experiences I have ever faced. The pain of that loss runs deeper than words can describe — a kind of pain that sits quietly in the heart and never fully disappears. It left me with an ache that forced me to confront not only my grief but also the long history of trauma that I had carried since childhood.
I grew up during the war in Bosnia, surrounded by violence, fear, and loss. My earliest memories are filled with sirens, hiding in basements, and wondering if we would live to see another day. War robs children of their innocence. It forces you to grow up quickly, to adapt, and to bury your emotions just to survive. That’s what I did — I learned to survive, but I never learned how to heal.
When I came to the United States, I thought life would finally become easier, but the trauma I had carried within me came along, too. It showed up as nightmares, hypervigilance, and a constant sense of fear that I couldn’t explain. Later, I would come to understand that I was living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I also struggled with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which made focusing, organizing, and managing daily responsibilities a constant challenge. Together, PTSD and ADHD felt like living in two worlds — one stuck in painful memories, the other scattered across endless distractions.
I also endured domestic violence, which reignited old wounds from my childhood. The cycle of fear and silence became suffocating, and for years, I felt trapped in my own life.
Then, three years ago, my world collapsed again when my significant other was murdered. The shock, rage, and sorrow I felt in that moment shattered me. It was as though every painful memory I had ever tried to bury came rushing back all at once. There were nights when I could barely breathe, days when I questioned whether I could keep going.
My son also struggles with mental health challenges, and watching him navigate that journey has been both heartbreaking and inspiring. As a mother, I want to protect him from the pain I’ve known, but I also understand that I can’t shield him from his own battles. Instead, I’ve chosen to walk beside him. I talk to him openly about therapy, self-awareness, and emotional healing. I teach him that mental health is not something to be ashamed of but something to be cared for, like any other part of the body. Guiding him as a young adult while managing my own mental health has not been easy, but it has taught me more about compassion and patience than any classroom ever could.
After years of carrying trauma and loss, I made one of the most important decisions of my life — I moved to Hawai‘i. I came here seeking peace, grounding, and a new beginning. The ocean, the mountains, and the spirit of aloha have helped me reconnect with life in ways I never thought possible. Hawai‘i has taught me the value of slowing down, of being present, and of finding healing in community and nature. It is here that I have truly begun to rebuild my sense of self.
Despite everything I have been through — war, domestic violence, the murder of my partner, and the suicide of a loved one — I am still here. I am still standing. And that, to me, is proof that healing is possible, even when life seems unbearable. My journey has shaped not only who I am but also what I believe in. I believe that vulnerability is strength. I believe that sharing our stories saves lives.
As someone living with PTSD, ADHD, and fibromyalgia, I’ve learned that healing is not linear. Working as a crisis therapist has given me the opportunity to support people during their darkest moments — people who remind me of my younger self. Every time I sit with someone in pain, I remember why I chose this path. I want to be the voice that tells them, “You are not broken. You are surviving.”
Pursuing my master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the University of Phoenix has been both a personal and professional calling. I want to use my education to break the cycle of silence that exists around mental health, especially in communities where it is still stigmatized or misunderstood. I want to advocate for trauma-informed care and help others recognize that mental health challenges do not define us — they refine us.
Through my experiences, I’ve learned that the most powerful form of healing comes from connection — from being seen, heard, and understood. I no longer hide my story. I share it, not out of weakness, but out of hope that it might help someone else find their way. My losses have taught me empathy; my trauma has taught me resilience. My pain has become my purpose.
Today, I live with the belief that even in the darkest moments, light can be found. Every morning I wake up in Hawai‘i, I am reminded that I chose life, healing, and service. I carry the memories of those I’ve lost — my family member who died by suicide, my partner who was taken from me too soon — as guiding lights that remind me why this work matters.
My goal is not just to heal myself but to create a ripple effect of healing for others — my son, my clients, and anyone who believes their pain makes them unworthy of peace. Mental health is not a weakness; it is part of our shared humanity. My story is one of survival, but more importantly, it is one of transformation. I have turned tragedy into purpose, pain into empathy, and loss into love.
I am still healing, still growing, and still learning — but I am no longer just surviving.