I definitely need to cry. I will eventually. I’m doing better, though.
It’s been four years of pent up emotions and feelings: feelings that haven’t necessarily been expressed, but feelings I’ve confronted and have accepted that exist….at least most of them… I think. That's the thing: I’m trying to take it all day by day. The quarantine helped, I think. All that isolation forced me to turn to “look at the man in the mirror” and think. I identified the problem but didn’t really solve it. But that identification was a first step to help me figure out who I truly am. I came to understand that all of those years I was suffering from an inferiority complex. It’s been four years since I’ve felt this happy. In seventh grade, I was a bmoc (big man on campus)-- best basketball player, considered funny, cute. I was him - “smelling myself” but rightfully so. Then another kid arrived the next year. I had everything stripped away, and I was relabeled. I didn’t know what it felt like to be second socially. Nevertheless, that was the beginning of my battle with identity mobility.
For the next three years I tried to be too many things to too many people to retain that sense of belonging, self-worth, pride, and along the way, I felt even more like nothing and more confused. It became excessive...I was so mobile that I became stagnant.
From there, I was in survival mode. Instead of being my authentic self, I fabricated personalities. Each environment knew a different Masai. With my brothers, I was the hood version of myself. At school I was unapproachable. Everywhere else, I was simply anti-social. While switching between these personas, I also attempted to emulate other people in my life. I tried to be like the cool athlete at school, or stoic and mysterious like my dad or big brother. I was also code switching at school, and having to do this to an even greater extent within spaces of color was exhausting. How the hell was I supposed to keep up with that many Masais?
I told myself: don’t waste time being emotional, because that’s time you could be spending fixing the problem. I had unconsciously learned this motto watching my big brother and father respond to various hardships without blinking an eye. So logically (well, far from it in hindsight), I dealt with it how I thought I was supposed to: I shut down. For years, I isolated myself. I became hyper focused in two spaces: basketball and school. This battle led me to two realizations, I need to attend an HBCU, and I need to work in the mental health field.
Attending an HBCU was a realization that had been planted as a seed from my birth, as I was born to two HBCU alumni. Being in a space of excellence that has the wonderful word "Black" in front of it was not new to me, but was slightly unfamiliar coming from high school. Attending an HBCU has shown me my beauty, my nuances, my good traits, and bad. It has taught me resilience, and siblinghood, and has begun to teach me what unconditional love means to me. At Morehouse College, I've learned about brotherhood and its importance, alongside what it means to self-actualize and continue to do so.
All of the aforementioned things have duly played a part in my interest in mental health too. As a thinker and observer, alongside my personal experiences with depression, I have been drawn to mental health for years without even being aware.
That time in my life led me to major in psychology, pre-medical. I will create my own non-profit directed towards the mental health of Black men and boys and majoring in psychology will equip me with the skills to do that effectively. I want to try and do everything in my power to ensure that Black boys and men don't do what I did. That is keeping feelings and emotions pent up inside and then finally boiling over. As a pediatrician, the combination of my love for children, and medical and psychological knowledge will allow me to essentially kill two birds with one stone. As a pediatrician, I'll be honed in on bodily the health of my patients, and with the psychological knowledge, I'll be able to observe and help them emotionally and mentally. My community needs more Black pediatricians and psychiatrists, so I took it upon myself to conquer both, thus helping and empowering our youth.