When I was two, my mom made up a rhyme about me because I would constantly worry. “Mary, Mary, the what if girl. She “what ifs” the most in the whole wide world. What if the sky turns green? What if the grass turns blue? What if the cows say quack? What if the ducks say moo?” This became my nick name and was repeated any time I voiced a worry, which was often. When I was four years old, on Christmas Eve, my parents pointed out a light in the sky and told us it was Santa’s sleigh. I immediately started crying because I believed Santa would beat us home, and because we weren’t asleep, we wouldn’t get presents. When I was five, I carried a garbage bin around Kindergarten every day because I was so anxious I thought I was going to throw up. When I was nine, I got tickets to see Taylor Swift, my favorite singer. For the next seven months, I had a headache because I was worried someone would get sick and we would miss the concert. In the middle of the concert, I turned to my dad and told him my head felt better. This same year, my parents got a call from the school, saying I had taken a survey that indicated that I was at a high risk of having depression. My parents responded, “we know.” When I was 11, the suicidal thoughts started. I didn’t really want to kill myself, but I didn’t want to be alive. I definitely didn’t believe I would be alive today and be graduating high school. I have so many more stories like this. While my mental health is not as bad as it used to be, it is something I struggle with every day. I get anxious about every little thing. I have days where I want to lay in bed all day and struggle to do anything. There are days I think it would be better for everyone if I didn’t exist. I have anxiety attacks about small things like doing the dishes or about nothing at all. My mental health issues affect me every day. However, I have a therapist. I have developed so many techniques that help. I find that listening to or playing music helps me feel calm. I have learned how to live with it which is something I couldn’t do when I was little. Because of my struggles with mental health, I have become very interested in psychology. I have taken all the psychology courses my high school offers. Next year I will start college. It is terrifying to leave my support system and everything I know behind and this has made my anxiety a lot worse recently. Yet I am very excited. My major is undeclared but I am very interested in majoring in psychology. I will definitely be taking psychology classes. I don’t know if I will become a psychologist or use this degree in another way, but I want to help other people, especially children, who struggle with mental health.

I can confidently say that these photos captured the boldest thing I've ever done. Only weeks before, I finished a three-week hospital stay, during which I did over three hours of physical therapy every day, and I worked very hard to get healthy enough to do this. I spoke to 200 pediatric pain doctors at an international conference in the Bahamas. I got to share my experience as a teenager with chronic pain. Doing this helped the doctors understand what their patients go through and know how to help them. I am so proud that I got to do this.