I would first like to thank the Calvin C. Donelson Memorial Scholarship for this opportunity to share my passion and dedication as a barber. Also, for sharing a little about Calvin and his beliefs. I find that his outlook on a person's ability to accomplish things very closely aligns with my own. I have always had an interest in styling and cutting hair since a very young age. Growing up I would style my younger sister's, and friend's hair, and be creative with my hair and updos. After I graduated high school pursuing college didn't feel like anything attainable. The cost of tuition was incredibly high and I was very lost on how I was going to pay for it. So, I instead started bar-tending to cover my costs of living. I cut and styled both my female and male friend's hair during that time because it was something I enjoyed doing. I always dreamed that one day, I would be a stylist. When I turned 23 I entered into a marriage that very quickly turned abusive. I became isolated from my friends and family with a move multiple states away. The shame made me hide, the years of abuse made me feel like I was not good enough, and year after year I fell further away from my dream. In August 2020 I had reached a point where I knew that if I did not get out I was going to lose my life. There had been many violent incidents one of which included him holding a loaded gun in my mouth. I used a stranger's cellphone to call my mom, and she bought me a Greyhound ticket. I left with only the clothes on my back. After arriving I was broken and I had lost all direction. My family was patient as I began my path to healing. Slowly but surely I regained confidence and self-love. My younger sister had been a cosmetologist for years and was a Beauty Guru Educator for Salon Centric. She encouraged me to go back to school. In February 2022, I decided to follow my passion for cutting hair and enrolled in barber school. I began my journey in April that same year. My younger sister was a huge support and inspiration. I called and messaged her photos each time I learned something new or had any questions. On June 10th I received a call at work that shook my entire world. My younger sister had passed away the night before. It didn't feel real, I struggled to come to terms with the reality of my life without her in it. I considered taking a LOA, or even dropping out. After many tears and tough conversations, I took some bereavement time and decided to not only stay in school but to set my mind on graduating with Honors and on the Dean's List; in memory of my younger sister who was incredibly passionate about teaching and sharing knowledge. Fast forward to today almost a year later, I am scheduled to graduate in August of this year with Honors and on the Dean's List. If you would've told me five years ago this is where I would be today I would not have believed you. However, looking back at all that I have been through and standing where I am today, I will tell you that anything is possible. With hard work, dedication, determination, and resiliency a drive to succeed no matter what obstacles present themselves, achieving my dreams is possible. There is nothing I can't do if I set my mind to it.

First I want to say thank you to the Holt family for the opportunity to apply for this scholarship to help with the cost of tuition. I am a non-traditional student, who has gone back and forth with the idea of pursuing higher education for almost a decade before actually following through. I am a survivor of domestic violence that has overcome a lot of adversity and challenges to make it to where I am today. I have always had an interest in the barbering industry, I love the idea of classic timeless styles and the use of a traditional straight razor. My sister and I grew up always styling each other's hair and our friend's hair. After I graduated high school I bought a cheap pair of clippers and shears and began cutting anyone who would let me touch their hair. She attended cosmetology school in 2018, and shortly after she graduated joined the Salon Centric "beauty guru" educational team. She was incredibly supportive when I shared with her I would finally be attending Paul Mitchell, and was there for me when I had questions or wanted to show off what I had learned. A few months after starting school I was struck with some very tragic news. My younger sister had passed away after almost a decade of battle with a chronic illness. It felt impossible to process at the time, I felt unsure of if I could finish school. The grief made things nearly impossible to focus on anything. After some time discussing with friends, family, and mentors I concluded that my sister would not want me to stop growing and living my life because she was no longer here. She would want me to be the best and most successful version of myself that I could be. So, in her honor (because of her love of education) I decided to not only continue school but to graduate with Honors and on the Dean's List. The are more than a few reasons I picked this trade. The first reason is that I am incredibly passionate about helping people feel beautiful and confident. As a survivor of DV, I understand what it feels like to have low confidence and self-esteem. Another reason is that this industry has some security around it. People will always need a haircut. Hair never stops growing (at least while you still have it). Then there are always hair pieces, wigs, and head shaves for when the hair does stop growing in/or gets thin. The final reason I chose this industry is because of where I am going to be moving and settling the roots of my future. It is a small town in Kansas that has a good size farming community. There was one barber/beauty salon that served 3-4 counties in the area. Last year she retired and a majority of them now drive over an hour to get a haircut. My goal is to graduate school with Honors and be on the Dean's List (I am well on my way to accomplishing this), pass my state board exams, and be licensed as a barbershop owner before the end of 2023. Being able to bring this service back to my community will only help the community stay alive and help the members who live there have access to services that many people in larger towns and cities take for granted. Winning this scholarship would help me achieve a dream I have waited so long to have. I am grateful for the opportunity of this scholarship and to the foundation providing its funding.

I’m part of an ugly pity club It’s sad but it’s true I’m part of an ugly pity club Due to the loss of you I’m part of an ugly pity club I hope others never understand I’m part of an ugly pity club It was never a part of my plan I’m part of an ugly pity club I’m reminded when I’m asked I’m part of an ugly pity club Should I be honest and unmask I’m part of an ugly pity club I have an older brother I’m part of an ugly pity club I know it’s hardest on my mother I’m part of an ugly pity club I had a younger sister too I’m part of an ugly pity club I’d love to share her memory with you I’m part of an ugly pity club So please don’t shy away I’m part of an ugly pity club It helps me heal when I get to say I’m part of an ugly pity club But please don’t pity me I’m part of an ugly pity club Holding onto a memory

The biggest challenge I have overcome was rebuilding my life after leaving an abusive relationship. When I left I would say that I was very much so, a victim. I did not believe in myself and even worse, I believed the lies and manipulation that my ex-husband had told me. In August 2020 I gathered up the courage to leave. I used a stranger's cellphone and called my mom for help. Got on a Greyhound and left everything I knew and owned behind for the chance of a better life. When I arrived in Wichita I didn't have much, only the clothes on my back and due to circumstances surrounding my domestic violence I didn't have any money or bank accounts, and my debt and collections were incredibly high. I didn't believe I was valuable and I honestly did not think there was a job around that I was capable of performing. I found a non-profit organization offering a transitional employment program for survivors of domestic violence and began my journey there. Here I received much-needed trauma group therapy, individual therapy, and case management. Once a week I would also meet with a credit counselor, and slowly but surely my life began to transform. I opened a second chance bank account (the first one I had in over two years). I began healing wounds, gaining new skills, and remembering old ones that had gone dormant from the years of abuse. After graduating from the program I was offered a position as the Project Manager for the organization. I of course was honored, humbled, and accepted. I am still currently employed at the organization and help other women who have experienced trauma and abuse heal and grow. My best strategy to overcome and the main thing I share with the other women who come through this program is to work through things one step at a time. Take things slowly and don't bite off more than you can chew. Write a list of priorities for the things in your life that need work, organization, or just areas that you would like to improve, and put them in order of most to least important. Then, start changing your daily habits to support the completion of that list. Since being in Wichita I have paid off over $6,500 in debt, started a savings account, secured safe and stable housing, maintained employment with the same organization for about two years, refrained from reentering an abusive relationship, and discovered my passion for volunteering in my community. When I am not at work, school, or spending time with family; I can be found volunteering with my dog who is a certified therapy dog (as a team we provide comfort, compassion, and relief to others in schools, hospitals, nursing homes, etc.) or spending time outdoors. After a substantial amount of healing and personal growth, I have faced my next challenge of furthering my education. I did not know how I was going to afford it but decided to apply anyways. I am on track to achieving another of my goals. To graduate with honors and be on the Dean's List. My next goal is to graduate from school completely debt free. The way that I am going to achieve that is to put in my best effort and apply for every single scholarship that I meet the qualifications for. Winning this scholarship would relieve the stress that I have from my student loans, and put me one step closer to achieving my dream. To graduate top of my class, and eventually own and operate a barbershop.

When I think about my personal growth over the last year many things come to mind. However, the main one is my tenacity to finally follow my passion and go back to school. I struggled in 2020-2021 with what many may call "starting over". I had finally gotten the courage to leave an incredibly toxic and abusive marriage. To do this, however, meant leaving everything I owned behind. I came to Wichita on a Greyhound Bus with only the clothes on my back and very little to my name. I spent many days and nights healing, going to therapy, and attending free self-help classes sponsored by local non-profits. All of these things put together brought me to a really good place, but there was still something in my life that was missing. So, in April of this year, I decided to go back to school. Barbering was always something I had been interested in, and growing up I was infatuated with doing my friend's and little sisters' hair. For one reason or another though I never pursued an education. In the past I didn't believe that I was smart enough, I had a constant fear of failure that kept me from even trying. After an enormous amount of personal growth, I realized if I didn't try I would never know. I applied and was accepted at Paul Mitchell. I was unsure of how I would be able to afford it, but I knew nothing good comes without hard work. I began attending and made every effort to do my best no matter what. The harder I worked, the more growth I began to see. In June of this year, I lost my younger sister. It was very sudden and came without a lot of warning. Despite being filled with a lot of different emotions and stress, I decided to continue pushing through the roadblocks of depression. I know that my sister would have wanted me to continue. Although some days are still harder than others I know that as long as I show up and give my best, it is still better than not trying at all. Contrary to what I used to believe about myself that I was not smart enough to go to school, I am on track to graduate not only with Honors but on the Dean's List as well. I still fear failure, sometimes I still wonder if I can do it. The major thing that has changed is that despite my fear, I choose to try anyways. I do things that scare me, I work outside of my comfort zone, and I always say "yes" to trying something new. The main thing that I learned throughout this journey of personal growth and self-discovery is that I can be my biggest roadblock or my own biggest advantage. As long as I foster a belief in myself, I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.

My earliest memory is July 6th, 1994. The day my baby sister was born. I vividly remember worrying because I had never seen or heard my mom like that. I sat on a green leather couch with my brother waiting for the baby to come. I heard a small but mighty cry, jumped off the couch, turned a corner, and the midwife held up my chunky little sister. We grew up two peas in a pod, incredibly close, and for lack of a better definition best friends. At the age of 18, Kathryn was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Lupus Nephritis, a dangerous and chronic illness that she would battle for almost a decade. I watched her go through kidney failure, dialysis, chemotherapy (and the hair loss that accompanies this treatment), two kidney transplants, countless other surgeries, and near-death health scares. Even with all of the personal health problems she experienced, she always found a way to be kind, loving, compassionate, and strong. She was a fighter and took each new battle with a smile on her face. I had watched her struggle, fight, and overcome time and time again. We grew even closer as she pushed through these tribulations. She was homebound but we were inseparable. In 2015 after her first kidney transplant she was able to begin having what most young adults would call a “normal life”. She could go out without getting exhausted from just the walk to the car. Around this time, I entered into what became a very abusive relationship. As my romance developed it became more abusive. I began to isolate myself from my family and friends to hide the abuse. This included my sister who had always been my best friend. The deeper I got the more isolated I became. Until I no longer had any contact with anyone in my family. My abuser took away my ability to have a cell phone. Any calls I made had to be on speakerphone and in front of him. So, conversations were limited and brief. During the time we were estranged Kathryn attended cosmetology school despite health difficulties like rejection of her transplant, another year on dialysis, and a second transplant. After graduating she began working full-time at Salon Centric as a Beauty Guru Educator. In August 2020 I escaped my abuser, walked to the nearest public location, and borrowed a stranger’s cell phone. I called my mom and asked for help. I knew if I didn’t leave immediately I would lose my life or waste it living in pain and fear. Kathryn was right there for me when I got home. I returned broken and ashamed but she met me with love and patience. We began healing the void of years I had spent away. In April 2022 I started school at Paul Mitchell and she was an incredible support. Answering questions, giving me advice and encouragement. Kathryn was incredibly passionate about knowledge. She loved learning things, and even more, she loved educating people. In May she went into rejection again. We were discouraged, but we never considered the possibility that she wouldn’t make it. On Friday, June 10th, 2022 I got a call from my mom that Kathryn had passed away the night before. A month shy of her 28th birthday. I fell to my knees as my world spun. I had just talked to her a couple of days before and she was days away from emergency surgery. Organ rejection is incredibly painful. Kathryn went to the E.R. and was given morphine which she was allergic to (and documented in her medical chart for 12+ years). To counteract her allergic reaction, she was given prescription strength Benadryl, prescribed morphine-free pain medication, and sent home. Her kidney function was less than 14%, her body was unable to process the prescribed medication. So, she fell asleep and never woke up, and her death was ruled an accidental overdose. Losing Kathryn completely changed my life. It has taught me that you never know how much time you have in this world, and to take advantage of the time you get. Treat everyone you meet with kindness and love, and always give 100%. This loss has given me the drive to be the best version of myself I can be. I am on track to graduate with Honors and on the Dean’s List in memory of Kathryn and her passion for learning. I fight for awareness of medical overdoses so that other families won't have to experience loss like this. I persevere because that is what Kathryn would have wanted for me. Thank you, Cat Zingano, for this incredible opportunity to share our stories in honor of our loved ones. Together we are stronger, together we heal, and together we fight for a better tomorrow.

There are many ways that I can think of that my community, the country, and the world could grow to be a better place. The major change that I would like to see all around is the stigma that surrounds domestic violence. As a survivor, you can believe that I have heard it all when it comes to the judgment that people have towards you. "Why would you put up with that?" or "I would never let someone do that to me" are the two most common comments I hear from people. The truth is no one knows how they would respond until it is something that you are personally faced with. The shame made me hide, the abuse made me feel like I was unlovable, and the fear of the unknown is almost scarier than the violence that you become accustomed to. The years of abuse damage your confidence, at times you almost feel like you do deserve what they are doing, and most abusers convince you that no one else would ever "love" you more than they do. I want to strip the stigma of domestic violence. I currently work for a non-profit organization and have been since December 2020. Originally I came to this organization as a client, seeking help through the transitional employment program they offer. I came to this program as a victim, I felt unworthy, did not believe I had much to offer anyone, and that I was not a valuable employee. After working hard to overcome a lot of trauma, and low self-esteem I began remembering skills I had that had gone dormant during the years of abuse. I learned new skills and discovered ways to put my negative experiences to good use. I graduated from the program as a survivor. I was then offered a full-time staff position as the organization's Project Manager. The Women's Network's mission is to execute a holistic learning approach focusing on the physical, emotional, social and spiritual aspects of life while advocating, mentoring and educating women on their path to healing and economic stability. The Women’s Network (the Network) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, changing the lives of women who are survivors of trauma or other adverse circumstances by providing programs that elevate their economic security and personal well-being through job readiness and work retention programs to help women thrive in work and life. This job helped me reach a place where I was finally ready and able to follow my dreams of becoming a stylist. I am currently enrolled at Paul Mitchell The School Wichita, I am on track to graduate with Honors and on the Dean's List. I plan to continue partnering with the organization after I graduate and am licensed. Providing free haircuts to the survivors who come through the program to help them regain their self-confidence, helping them feel as beautiful on the outside as they are on the inside.

The biggest influence on my interest in giving back to my community has come from following Christ. Being in service to others. I first got involved in volunteerism in 2021 shortly after being baptized for the first time in my life. I started at a local non-profit organization (Breakthrough) and worked in their kitchen before work to help provide nutrition and support to those experiencing homelessness. I would open the kitchen at 7:30 a.m. M-F, start the ovens and begin cooking the menu for the day. At 8:15 a.m. we would begin serving the meals to the community. Everyone was always so grateful and it was such a wonderful way to start my morning. I volunteered here until I started school in April 2022 as I could no longer work full-time and go to school 20hrs/week. I tried to do it for a little bit, but it quickly became too much to try and keep up five days a week. Around the same time I volunteered with Breakthrough, I found another non-profit organization called The Phoenix Gym. This gym supports those who are in recovery from trauma and substance abuse and they are completely free to the members who use their services all they ask is for 48 hours of sobriety or more. I volunteered once a week for an hour every Saturday leading a guided self-love meditation. I was there as a friend and support while people worked hard to start living a clean life. I gave them a safe space to accept themselves as God made them and to help them let go of the past. I continued this until April when I started school. However, I still volunteer for 3-5 hours every month. Helping support their open gym, or any special sober events they host for the community. In June of 2022, I lost my younger sister to an accidental overdose. She had battled lupus nephritis an autoimmune disease since 2012, she had been through chemotherapy, two kidney transplants, and had spent a large portion of her adult life in the hospital. When her second transplant began failing and going into rejection she was in excruciating pain. She was prescribed pain medication. However, her kidney was only functioning at around 13%, and sadly her body could not process the medication she was prescribed and she passed away in her sleep. She and my dog had always had a special bond, and my dog Sophie has always loved people. She is a gentle giant and has always brought joy to all the people she met at the park, and on walks. After Kathryn passed away I found another non-profit organization called Hapi Pet Therapy. I was able to have my dog evaluated and certified as a therapy dog. Together as a team my dog and I go to different hospitals, nursing homes, assisted living facilities, schools, and businesses to provide relief to the individuals and families there. On my weekends that is where you can find my dog and me. I do this in honor and memory of my sister. I love to bring some comfort to those who are in the hospital, and to the family members who are struggling with the pain, grief, and uncertainty that come with having a loved one in the hospital. I love volunteering and giving back to my community. To spread the blessings that the Lord has given me. I hope to always bring hope, comfort, love, and compassion to those I serve.

Throughout my life I have struggled with anxiety and depression. There have been many factors that contributed to the severity of these issues. When I think of mental health I struggle to find the right words to describe or explain it, because it is truly something that can only be understood by the one who is experiencing it. One of my main thoughts is that it is an invisible disease. You cannot look at someone and be able to tell what their internal struggles may be. Very often these struggles are masked by someone trying to put on a happy face. I have been in long-term recovery from mental health and suicide for a little over two years. My now ex-husband had been abusing me since 2015. It started slowly with verbal and emotional abuse, but by 2020 it had accelerated to physical and sexual violence. I never understood rape within a marriage until I had experienced it myself. In 2020 I laid on the floor of my living room with a blade and cried. I was lost, alone, I felt unlovable, damaged beyond repair, and contemplating taking my own life. Somehow in the depth of my despair, through sobs, blinded by tears, and feeling completely and utterly alone, I had a spiritual awakening. I could hear God say, "It's ok. I am here with you". I had never talked to God before, and at the time didn't even believe in God. I put the blade down and called my mom. I knew I needed help, and if I didn't get away I knew one way or another if I didn't leave, my life was going to end. A day later I got onto a greyhound bus with just the clothes on my back, traveled over 400 miles, and left everything behind for the hope of living just one more day. I arrived to my mom’s house an incredibly broken and damaged individual. At first, I could not be physically touched by anyone, my friends and family included. I couldn't work, I didn’t believe I had any skills or value. I got into psychotherapy, joined a trauma support group that would meet for two hours once a week, and applied to a transitional employment program for survivors of domestic violence. Slowly but surely, I began to heal bits and pieces of myself. Although everyday was a new battle I started learning my triggers, my warning signs for a bout of depression, I learned coping mechanisms and grounding techniques. I started to regain confidence and realize that I was valuable. After I graduated from the transitional employment program, I was offered a position as a full-time staff member at the non-profit organization I graduated from. I have been employed here since December of 2020 and the Project Manager since March 2021. Here I help other women heal and grow after leaving their abuser. Helping others has helped me heal so much as well. It has showed me that you truly do not know what someone has been through or is currently experiencing unless they share it with you. In May 2021 I lost a dear friend to suicide. I have known him for 16 years and we grew up together. I had no idea that he was struggling and the news he had completed suicide came as a huge shock. I had talked to him just days prior to when his mom found him and I have struggled with wondering if there was more I could have said or done. It is hard not to place blame on ourselves when things like this happen. In 2012 my younger sister was diagnosed with lupus nephritis at the age of 18. I watched her have a long battle with her chronic illness. Through countless surgeries, chemotherapy, watching her hair fall out, lose weight, and two kidney transplants, that left her body scarred, she always managed to care for others and touch the lives of so many people. On June 9th, 2022 she lost her battle with her illness due to an accidental overdose when her second kidney transplant went into rejection. Her kidney function was under 13% and unable to process the medication she was prescribed for the pain. I have since been working through my survivors guilt and grief. She was an incredible person who was so kind and loving to every person and creature. Over 150 people came to her celebration of life, people I never met. Many told me how much her kindness changed their lives, and made a lasting impression. Although I still struggle day to day, I know what a difference one person can have on another. My goal in life is to help other people feel valuable and loved, just as my sister had done for so many others. I am currently in school studying hair. I love listening to people and getting to know them while I do their hair. I love the look on their face when you spin them around and they lean closer smiling and say "I love it". I believe the best stylists are a little bit of everything, they are someone you can confide in, trust, they can provide relief to those experiencing hardship, and can help someone feel beautiful when they are low. My own experience battling mental health has helped me be there to show compassion, kindness, and support to my others who might also be in battle. Pain, grief, and loneliness will always be in the world. My goal is to be there for others. To share my heart with those experiencing pain or loss, and let them know they are never alone.