The first time I showed signs of having a mental illness was when I was 5 years old. I had cut my finger on something while playing outside and it formed a scab, I started picking at the scab without even realizing it as a way to control the anxiety I was facing before I even realized what I was dealing with. As the years passed I started to become more aware of my mental issues; I continued with my anxious skin picking and I currently still struggle with it. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at the age of eleven, I was being bullied in school and my way of coping with it was self-harm, my parents immediately put me in therapy to receive the help I needed and I was diagnosed soon after. As I am writing this I am currently 19 years old, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, general anxiety disorder, and bipolar two disorder, and have experienced countless therapy sessions, different medications to manage the diseases, and many days of wanting to give up. Having a mental illness is extremely hard, it takes years to fully understand the extent of it and even more time to be able to manage it. For the longest time I thought I was a burden, I thought that my illnesses made me unlovable, difficult, damaged, worthless, etc. The stigma surrounding mental illness had convinced me that I was broken, that something was wrong with me and that I didn't deserve to be happy. Shortly after I started high school I realized that mental illness is not something to be ashamed of, I realized that I wasn't struggling alone. I took a big leap and asked for help, a step that I would have never been able to take a few years before. Letting go of the shame and embarrassment I had felt my whole life was the most liberating feeling, I finally started to feel like I was normal. I personally believe that no one struggling with mental illness will ever fully get over said illness, but I truly believe that you can live an amazing and functional life even with mental health issues. I am currently enrolled in college as a behavioral sciences major so I can help other people that are in similar situations. I had to struggle and overcome my shame so I can help others that are in that position. My career aspiration is to be a child/adolescent counselor so I can have an impact on others that are struggling. If I could help someone, even if it is only one person, take control of their mental health and their life, it will have all been worth it to me. No one should ever have to struggle alone, I want to be that person that can help others push through and thrive because mental illness is NOT something to be ashamed of.

Ever since I was young I always knew that I wanted to experience as much as possible in my life. I made a bucket list of all the things I wanted to do in life: travel the USA, travel the world, go skydiving, be front row at a concert, swim with sharks, watch the sunset, fall in love, learn a new language, help those in need and honestly the list goes on and on. I'm currently only 19 years old so I obviously haven't been able to complete all of my bucket list yet, but I have been able to cross off a few things from the list. I have been blessed with the privilege of being able to visit multiple states throughout the country, I'm still working on visiting them all though. I was able to go skydiving with my father a few months ago, if you have been thinking of going definitely do because no feeling in the world can compare to that experience. There was a time when I crossed off two things at once, be front row at a concert and fall in love, I'll always cherish the memory of that concert. I'm still young so I have time to complete the rest of the bucket list and as I get older I keep adding more things to the list. Since starting college I've added earn my degree, make lifelong friends, and more to my list. I hope I am able to complete my list with the short time I have on this planet.

The first time I showed signs of having a mental illness was when I was 5 years old. I had cut my finger on something while playing outside and it formed a scab, I started picking at the scab without even realizing it as a way to control the anxiety I was facing before I even realized what I was dealing with. As the years passed I started to become more aware of my mental issues; I continued with my anxious skin picking and I currently still struggle with it. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at the age of eleven, I was being bullied in school and my way of coping with it was self-harm, my parents immediately put me in therapy to receive the help I needed and I was diagnosed soon after. As I am writing this I am currently 19 years old, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, general anxiety disorder, and bipolar two disorder, and have experienced countless therapy sessions, different medications to manage the diseases, and many days of wanting to give up. Having a mental illness is extremely hard, it takes years to fully understand the extent of it and even more time to be able to manage it. For the longest time I thought I was a burden, I thought that my illnesses made me unlovable, difficult, damaged, worthless, etc. The stigma surrounding mental illness had convinced me that I was broken, that something was wrong with me and that I didn't deserve to be happy. Once I hit high school I moved to different methods of managing my mental health, I fell into drinking and drugs; due to this coping mechanism, I lost a lot of friendships as a result of my poor decisions, I buried any feelings I had and made myself numb. That time in my life was the worst thing I have ever experienced, I had never felt so lost or numb, I knew I had to make changes in my life. I had lost my best friend because of who I became, I had let my mental issues take complete control of me and I became someone I didn't even recognize. I sobered up, I realized that mental illness is not something to be ashamed of, I realized that I wasn't struggling alone. I took a big leap and asked for help- a step that I would have never been able to take a few years before. Letting go of the shame and embarrassment I had felt my whole life was the most liberating feeling, I finally started to feel like I was normal. I personally believe that no one struggling with mental illness will ever fully get over said illness, but I truly believe that you can live an amazing and functional life even with mental health issues. I am currently enrolled in college as a behavioral sciences major so I can help other people that are in similar situations. I had to struggle and overcome my shame so I can help others that are in that position. My career aspiration is to be a child/adolescent counselor so I can have an impact on others that are struggling. If I could help someone, even if it is only one person, take control of their mental health and their life, it will have all been worth it to me. No one should ever have to struggle alone, I want to be that person that can help others push through and thrive because mental illness is NOT something to be ashamed of.

The first time I showed signs of having a mental illness was when I was 5 years old. I had cut my finger on something while playing outside and it formed a scab, I started picking at the scab without even realizing it as a way to control the anxiety I was facing before I even realized what I was dealing with. As the years passed I started to become more aware of my mental issues; I continued with my anxious skin picking and I currently still struggle with it, when I was in third grade my anxiety of being bullied was so severe that I would have anxiety attacks that presented in the form of being physically sick. I found out this was due to my anxiety when my parents took me to the hospital to have tests done and the doctor confirmed that I was physically fine, that it was, as he said, "all in my head." I was diagnosed with clinical depression at the age of eleven, I was being bullied in school and my way of coping with it was self-harm, my parents immediately put me in therapy to receive the help I needed and I was diagnosed soon after. As I am writing this I am currently 19 years old, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, general anxiety disorder, and bipolar two disorder, and have experienced countless therapy sessions, different medications to manage the diseases, and many days of wanting to give up. Having a mental illness is extremely hard, it takes years to fully understand the extent of it and even more time to be able to manage it. For the longest time I thought I was a burden, I thought that my illnesses made me unlovable, difficult, damaged, worthless, etc. The stigma surrounding mental illness had convinced me that I was broken, that something was wrong with me and that I didn't deserve to be happy. I was young, I was feeling so many intense emotions, I was dealing with so many symptoms and being forced to try to fix myself by talking to strangers about my struggles. I was hurting and I was embarrassed that I was in therapy, but that was then. I had always been the type of person that was ashamed to admit that I was struggling, I always tried to hide my feelings and symptoms one way or another. Bottling everything up worked for a while, until I had a breakdown and had to face my feelings. Ignoring my issues worked for a few months, until my episodes got so extreme that I thought I would have to institutionalize myself. Once I hit high school I moved to different methods of managing my mental health, I fell into drinking and drugs; due to this coping mechanism, I lost a lot of friendships as a result of my poor decisions, I buried any feelings I had and made myself numb. That time in my life was the worst thing I have ever experienced, I had never felt so lost or numb, I knew I had to make changes in my life. Losing a close relationship due to poor coping mechanisms was a real slap in my face, I had never realized that my hurting was hurting the ones I loved. I had lost my best friend because of who I became, I had let my mental issues take complete control of me and I became someone I didn't even recognize. I sobered up, I realized that mental illness is not something to be ashamed of, I realized that I wasn't struggling alone. I took a big leap and asked for help- a step that I would have never been able to take a few years before- I started talking to a therapist again and decided it was time to start on medication as a healthy way of controlling my illness. Letting go of the shame and embarrassment I had felt my whole life was the most liberating feeling, I finally started to feel like I was normal. I personally believe that no one struggling with mental illness will ever fully get over said illness, but I truly believe that you can live an amazing and functional life even with mental health issues. I am currently in college so I can help other people that were in my situation, I had to struggle and overcome my shame so I can help others that are in that position. My career aspiration is to be a child/adolescent counselor so I can have an impact on others that are struggling. If I could help someone, even if it is only one person, take control of their mental health and their life, it will have all been worth it to me. No one should ever have to struggle alone, I want to be that person that can help others push through and thrive because mental illness is NOT something to be ashamed of.