I have suffered from social anxiety for most of my life, as early as 9 years old. This has made it difficult for me to pursue new opportunities and relationships with others, even in situations where my heart longed to make these connections. On account of my own challenges with mental health, I want to pursue a career in social work in order that I can help other people with their experiences. I aim to work with children and young adults in particular, since I have seen how stagnating these detrimental thought processes can be.
As a Black woman, who comes from an impoverished family, I thrive to be a diligent and thorough role model for people who have experienced my circumstances. My own inability to access the utilities and support I needed to work through my mental hindrances resulted in distrust of the current state of health facilities and having to address my issues alone. In the Black community, issues regarding mental health and instability have often been belittled and misunderstood by adults and health professionals, leading to the continuance of our suffering. I want to develop into a leader, who can guide young populations to the proper resources and information necessary to help them, especially since I grew up craving that same attention and care. A similar phenomenon occurs within communities that are less wealthy: members are not taken as seriously and/or the proper precautions are not provided in an accessible manner.
The COVID-19 pandemic’s beginning in 2020 was the most disruptive and startling event I have ever experienced. Its abrupt and expeditious spread covered the last half of my first year in high school, in which I was meant to garner the expectations and behavior for the next four years of my life. Every aspect of my life -- social, educational, familial -- was broken down and reshaped and there was not enough time to process any of it. As my friends tried staying close over social media, my family was barely staying afloat with the struggle of balancing work life and health. The birth of my youngest sister and unstable wellbeing and vocational states of my parents, I had to look within myself for emotional support. Even though my parents continue to struggle, I had regained a strong foundation for our education, even as my family juggled with poor internet connectivity and resources while learning from home. Though I found it hard to remain connected and fight loneliness, along with staying attentive and retaining information solely through a computer, online classes were one of few constants in life. Thus, school has become an emphasized portion of my life; as it seeped and melded with my leisure time, strengthening my education has become a way to ground myself and productively measure my time and development, both as a student and a growing young woman. Although my social anxiety remained uncontrollable, I found and continue to find ways to stabilize myself through my education.
Throughout my current undergraduate studies, I am still learning how to process my anxieties and locate the deep-rooted problems within my own psyche. I continue to struggle with forming and tending to my relationships, despite how strongly I cherish them, so I am trying to use the new environment of my college campus as a means to address my social fears. As I study sociology and social welfare, I am using my past experiences, that have fueled my curiosities concerning social situations, as steppingstones to my post-secondary education and hopefully a long-lasting career of civil service.