Being a teenage girl in society and a child of God has been a challenge for me to balance throughout my walk in faith. The devil uses society and the media to spread lies that as a teenage girl, I had to dress a certain way, have ungodly behaviors to be liked, and keep my faith in myself because no one would like me if I loved Jesus. Before I dedicated myself to God, and I still struggle some days, I had fallen prey to every one of these lies. I have consistently struggled between chasing after my peer's approval, in and outside the church, and chasing after God. This struggle has been an ever-present battle since I have come to faith. In my flesh, I want to be well-liked, but I know in my spirit that I have to seek God's approval before anyone else's(Galatians 1:10).
Prior to finding my identity in Christ, I tried to find it in the people I surrounded myself with and my accomplishments. I felt a hole in my heart that I was unable to fill. No matter how many trophies I won, people who told me they loved me, how many people laughed at my jokes, or how many miles I ran, I never felt like I was truly loved. When I realized I could never cross the great chasm in my heart with worldly things, God picked me out of my dirt and set me on my feet. I began to walk the narrow path of Christianity.
Since I dedicated my life and future to Jesus Christ in April 2020, I have struggled with doubt, suicide, anxiety, and caving to peer pressure. Through every step of the way, I know my God has never left my side(Deuteronomy 31:8). Since God has opened my eyes to my sin of doubt and faithlessness, I have clung to my faith. When I was at a weak point in my faith and I was struggling with crippling anxiety, another Christian had read me Psalms 119:11. ". . . "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. . . ". God had convicted my heart of not spending enough time in His living word. The more I began to read my Bible, spent time on my knees praying, and served in the church my anxiety and feelings of depression lessened. God had revealed to me that when I only looked at my own life and needs I would feel overcome by what I do not have. Yet, when I took the opportunities God had given me to serve others I was able to recognize everything He had already given me. My faith in Jesus Christ has helped me take my eyes off of who everyone else thinks I should be, who I think I should be and focus my eyes on who the Lord is calling me to be.