The eerie hum of the air conditioner filled my ears as I sat in the cold metal seat. The class stared at my table group expectantly, only pausing briefly to look back at the problem on the board. An unknown force kept my lips sealed as I sent a panicked look toward the girl across from me. She finally answered and the air conditioner’s hum disappeared as my teacher began talking again. Growing up with anxiety, I rarely talked and was often left paralyzed with fear when facing any sort of risk. Despite knowing the answers to math questions or wanting to add to discussions, I stayed silent. As a middle schooler, mental illness was still a largely unfamiliar concept. I didn’t understand why I was constantly filled with crippling dread or how I could control it. Upon noticing my agitation, my parents began taking me to a therapist. My therapist suggested a couple of coping methods I could try but I had trouble seeing myself implementing any of them. So, I started searching online to see what other strategies were available to me. I identified and created a list of anxiety management strategies and began testing them. I kept track of how well each method worked in my journal. This process allowed me to finally discover ways to effectively manage my anxiety. It was also one of my first experiences with research and it demonstrated to me the positive impact it could have on my own life. The hunt for a solution to my problem had been exhilarating, especially as I began to get closer to an answer. I gained a new appreciation for science and research, experiencing first-hand how it could bring clarity to an uncertain world. Moving through middle school and entering high school, I continued to work on my anxiety and pushed myself to take greater risks. Now that I have finished my senior year I can see that finally being able to cope with my anxiety led to a dramatic shift in my life. I have evolved to become the polar opposite of who I had been as a kid. While I would have never dreamed of raising my hand in class or presenting my artwork for critique in the past, such things made my day more exciting and enjoyable in high school. I used to fear public speaking but after a couple of meetings, I had no problem standing in front of my Science Olympiad team as their captain and explaining strategy for competitions. Having anxiety has shifted how I approach everything in my life, from my relationships to my general worldview. I see challenges or risks as an opportunity, not something to be terrified of. Uncertainty is thrilling because it means there is something left to discover. Questioning the world around me and digging deeper into topics I find interesting allows me to make something out of the uncertainty that once made me nervous. While anxiety had a negative effect on much of my early life, the path I have taken to recover from it has allowed me to discover what I want to do for the rest of my life. Marcus Aurelius said, “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it”. As I begin down the path to becoming an astrophysicist, I think of the cataclysmic events occurring in the dark, cold depths of the universe not as intimidating or terrifying happenings, but as wondrous mysteries that I may one day understand.

As a child, I was convinced my mother knew everything. Our living room bookshelves heaved under the weight of her massive collection of encyclopedias. She could answer any question I had or direct me to the exact page which held an answer. However, as a Polish immigrant with little knowledge of the American school system, it seemed her bookshelf was missing the encyclopedia on navigating my education. My parents also lacked a social circle in the United States from whom they could obtain the randomly passed-on wisdom one can get from family friends. I served as my family’s guinea pig, spending a lot of my educational journey feeling lost and lacking guidance. When I began attending an International Baccalaureate high school, I realized that many other students shared this issue. Participating in an uncommon program made it more difficult to find good resources. Knowing upperclassmen was one of the only ways to get proper guidance. While I was lucky to find older friends who supported me, there were still many things they could not help me with. Through interactions with my classmates, it became very clear that our understanding of the IB program was greatly varied. It was obvious to me that our community needed better resources. After completing my first year in the diploma program, I decided to start the IB Encyclopedia website to create the kind of resource that I felt I had been missing in my earlier years of school. I could use my experience to help other students by creating a comprehensive guide to succeeding in high school. By compiling my research within a website, I could provide others with a starting point and decrease the time they had to spend searching for information. I included all of the topics that had once confused me, researched curriculums for various courses, and created blog posts to answer common questions. Additionally, I worked on providing a realistic view of each of the IB courses. Throughout the years, I had noticed that most resources relating to the program had been created by teachers and failed to include the nuances of certain courses which only became obvious once one experienced it for themselves. I reached out to classmates and recruited over 50 volunteers from 15 different countries to submit their experiences to be published on the website. Through their testimonies, I was able to include a greater range of perspectives for the courses and also learned a great deal about classes not offered by my school (I am quite envious of those who can take DP Film). I am continuing to work on expanding my site and publishing the experiences of myself and my volunteers. I hope to one day expand the site to include advice specific to other types of educational programs, like AP classes. As a Science Olympiad captain, I often provided advice to my younger teammates, explaining college applications or course selection. However, through this project, I hope to help a broader community. George Washington Carver once said, "Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom”. I remember how frustrating it is to think that you may never open that door simply because you do not have the community to support you. I want to help students push past the barriers preventing them from getting their keys to freedom. I will always be grateful to the upperclassmen who reached out with a helping hand when I needed it and now I hope to do the same.

“You’re so brave for wearing that” my classmate commented as her eyes swept over my outfit, composed of black Dr. Martens, tights, a floral mini dress, and a black turtleneck. Growing up very European in the Midwest, I was no stranger to such comments. From my style of dress which was considered overly formal by American standards to my ambitions of moving out of the country which clashed with most of my classmates' desires to stay in Michigan, it felt as if every aspect of my identity was at odds with my environment. Being queer in a largely conservative community added to this. When I discovered Chappell Roan several months ago, I finally felt I had found an artist I could deeply relate to. Her bold and experimental fashion sense is an inspiration and gives me greater confidence in the way I choose to express myself. I wish that I had had someone like her to look up to when I was growing up. Of all her music, I connect with “Good Luck, Babe!” the most. Not only does it tell a story that many queer people can relate to, but I think there is also another side to the story which carries more general applications. At its core, the song is about two people who have diverged because they chose different life paths. This kind of conflict is something I have experienced several times. I’ve noticed that in the Midwest, many people value staying close to family and the simpler things in life. On the other hand, my Polish parents raised me to strive towards academic and career excellence and to aspire to leave Michigan and explore other places. While there is nothing wrong with either lifestyle and both can lead to a satisfying life, one cannot deny that these two sets of values do conflict. In the past year, as me and my friends moved towards new stages in our lives, I have experienced friendships beginning to dissolve because our lives are diverging and we are losing some of the commonalities that we once shared. “Good Luck, Babe!” has helped me to process and reflect on these experiences. Chappell’s career trajectory is also greatly inspiring. Her rise to fame has been years in the making, with her releasing her first EP back in 2017. Even though my field of choice, astrophysics, is drastically different from the world of music, the two careers aren’t as different as they may seem. Just as it took Chappell Roan a long time to find mainstream success, it will likely take me almost a decade to accomplish my goal of getting a PhD. Science as a discipline requires a great deal of patience, with studies taking years to achieve results. Chappell’s career shows the importance of patience and persistence. The thought of how long I’ll have to spend in school to achieve my dream can be daunting but stories like hers give me hope that my hard work will bear sweet fruit. Chappell Roan’s music speaks to queer experiences, cultural differences, and youthful ambition and that’s why she is your favorite artists’s favorite artist.

As a child, I was convinced my mother knew everything. Our living room bookshelves heaved under the weight of her massive collection of encyclopedias. She could answer any question I had or direct me to the exact page which held an answer. However, as a Polish immigrant with little knowledge of the American school system, it seemed her bookshelf was missing the encyclopedia on navigating my education. My parents also lacked a social circle in the United States from whom they could obtain the usual randomly passed-on wisdom one can get from family friends. So, I served as my family’s guinea pig, spending a lot of my educational journey feeling lost and lacking guidance. When I began attending an International Baccalaureate high school, I realized that many other students shared this issue. Participating in an uncommon program made it more difficult to find good resources and having a close relationship with upperclassmen was a significant advantage. While I was lucky to find older friends who gave me a great deal of advice, there were still many things they weren’t able to help me with. After completing my first year in the diploma program, I decided to start the IB Encyclopedia website to create the kind of resource that I felt I had been missing in my earlier years of school. I could use my experience to help other students by creating a comprehensive guide to succeeding in high school. By compiling my research within a website, I could provide others with a starting point and decrease the time they had to spend searching for information. I included all of the topics that had once confused me, like choosing courses or extracurriculars. I researched curriculums for various courses and created blog posts to answer common questions. Additionally, I worked on providing a realistic view of each of the IB courses. Throughout the years, I had noticed that most resources relating to the program had been created by teachers and failed to include the nuances of certain courses which only became obvious once one experienced it for themselves. I reached out to classmates and recruited over 50 volunteers from 15 different countries to submit their experiences and advice to be published on the website. Through their testimonies, I was able to include a greater range of perspectives for the courses and also learn a great deal about classes not offered by my school (I am quite envious of those who can take DP Film). I am continuing to work on expanding my site and publishing the experiences of myself and my volunteers. I hope to one day expand the site to also include advice specific to other types of educational programs, like AP classes or homeschooling. As a Science Olympiad captain, I often provided advice to my younger teammates, explaining college applications or course selection. However, through this project, I hope to help a broader community. I know that many students lack a physical community that can support them and I hope to create an online community that makes them feel a bit less lost in their educational journey. George Washington Carver once said, "Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom”. I remember how frustrating it is to think that you may never open that door simply because you do not have the community to support you. Through my project, I hope to help other students feel less lost on their educational journey.

The eerie hum of the air conditioner filled my ears as I sat in the cold metal seat. The class stared at my table group expectantly, only pausing briefly to look back at the problem on the board. An unknown force kept my lips sealed as I sent a panicked look toward the girl across from me. She finally answered and the air conditioner’s hum disappeared as my teacher began talking again. Growing up with anxiety, I rarely talked and was often left paralyzed with fear when facing any sort of risk. Despite knowing the answers to math questions or wanting to add to discussions, I stayed silent. Mental health was never discussed at school and thus I was left confused about what was happening. I didn’t understand why I was constantly filled with crippling dread or how I could deal with it. After talking with my parents, I began seeing a therapist and started working on finding coping methods. My therapist suggested a couple of things I could try but I had trouble seeing myself implementing any of them. So, I started reading online to gain a better understanding of what other strategies may work. I spent hours reading articles and watching videos. I identified and created a list of anxiety management strategies and began testing them. I kept a document of observations, detailing how well each method worked. This process allowed me to finally discover ways to effectively manage my anxiety and find relief from the constant fear and dread that had been weighing on me. This was also one of my first experiences with research and demonstrated to me the positive impact it could have on my own life. The hunt for a solution to my problem had been exhilarating, especially as I began to get closer to an answer. I gained a new appreciation for science and research, experiencing first-hand how it could bring clarity to an uncertain world. As I moved toward the end of middle school and the intensity of my anxiety eased, I began to see how much I had missed out on due to my anxiety. By allowing it to control my life I missed out on connecting with many of my classmates or participating in exciting opportunities. After getting a spot at one of the best high schools in Michigan, I realized I had a chance to start over. With a blank slate ahead of me, I became determined to turn a new corner with my anxiety. I worked on further improving my coping methods over the summer and when the school year started, I pushed myself to join every club and befriend as many of my classmates as I could. As I sat and laughed with friends at lunch or worked with my partners on difficult math problems, I finally began to feel like I was a part of my community. Even though I had some close friends when I was younger, I had still felt incredibly isolated because I never truly became engaged in my school community. After starting high school, I realized that this had also made it more difficult to escape my anxiety. Surrounded by friends and approachable classmates, I rarely felt as if I was alone in my struggles. Whether it was a confusing poem in a literature class or a Spanish listening practice that might as well have been in German, there was always someone to turn to when I encountered a problem. Working through my anxiety allowed me to discover the importance of having a strong relationship with my community. Now that I have finished my senior year I can see that finally being able to cope with my anxiety led to a dramatic shift in my life. I have evolved to become the polar opposite of who I had been as a kid. While I would have never dreamed of raising my hand in class or presenting my artwork for critique in the past, such things made my day more exciting and enjoyable in high school. I used to fear public speaking but after a couple of meetings, I had no problem standing in front of my Science Olympiad team as their captain and explaining strategy for competitions. Having anxiety has shifted how I approach everything in my life, from my relationships to my general worldview. I see challenges or risks as an opportunity, not something to be terrified of. Uncertainty is thrilling because it means there is something left to discover. My experiences with anxiety have confirmed to me that I want to pursue science. Questioning the world around me and digging deeper into topics I find interesting allows me to make something out of the uncertainty that once made me nervous. Instead of spiraling when something is confusing or strange, I can methodically investigate and gain new knowledge. While anxiety had a negative effect on much of my early life, the path I have taken to recover from it has allowed me to discover what I want to do for the rest of my life. Marcus Aurelius said, “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it”. As I begin down the path to becoming an astrophysicist, I think of the cataclysmic events occurring in the dark, cold depths of the universe not as intimidating or terrifying happenings, but as wondrous mysteries that I may one day understand.

Instead of the more traditional fairytale heroes we associate with childhood movies, the nostalgic films of my childhood starred researchers working everywhere from the Black Sea to the Australian Outback. Documentaries were my comfort films and kept me asking questions about the world, making it clear that all I wanted to do was research. In October of my sophomore year while studying for my Science Olympiad team’s tryout exams I came across an image of Herbig-Haro Object 24. A deceivingly delicate-looking jet cut across the center of the image, obscured by sharp, dramatic dust clouds. Its effect was something closely akin to those of the masterpieces made by Klimt, Van Gogh, and Vermeer that I had been studying in my art class. This deep-sky object set in motion my fascination with stellar astrophysics and astronomy. Diving deeper into this new interest, I read every book and watched every documentary remotely related to the topic. I was quickly exposed to the immense web of concepts, theories, and questions that made up our understanding of the Universe. It became clear to me that astronomy was much like the ecosystems I had studied during my childhood. In the same way that koalas and dingos were all connected through the food web of the Outback, the fields of stellar astrophysics, extreme astrophysics, and theoretical physics were connected through advancements in knowledge. New understandings about stellar evolution can help us better understand black holes which in turn provide an environment where neither quantum nor gravitational effects can be ignored and the idea of quantum gravity must be introduced. Every new bit of knowledge is a puzzle piece that adds to the clarity of our understanding of the entire universe. I want to become entangled in this web connections and contribute some of my own pieces to the puzzle. I want to combine my passion for extreme astrophysics topics, like black holes and neutron stars, with my interest in theoretical physics to investigate quantum gravity. This field is just in its initial stages and has the potential to cause drastic changes in our understanding of the universe. Through working with quantum physicists I could help develop experiments to detect and understand gravitons. Or potentially if these particles evolve from theoretical to confirmed, I could use knowledge of extreme phenomena, like black holes, to help understand the quantum nature of gravity. Starting with watching nature documentaries when I was child to beginning studying astrophysics now and becoming a researcher in the future, inquiry and questioning has and will always be the main driving force in my life. Yet, I’ve never had a hint of doubt that I will make an impact on the world through research.

Instead of the more traditional fairytale heroes we associate with childhood movies, the nostalgic films of my childhood starred researchers working everywhere from the Black Sea to the Australian Outback. Documentaries were my comfort films and kept me asking questions about the world, making it clear that all I wanted to do was research. In October of my sophomore year while studying for my Science Olympiad team’s tryout exams I came across an image of Herbig-Haro Object 24. A deceivingly delicate-looking jet cut across the center of the image, obscured by sharp, dramatic dust clouds. Its effect was closely akin to those of the masterpieces made by Klimt, Van Gogh, and Vermeer that I studied in my art class. This deep-sky object set in motion my fascination with stellar astrophysics and astronomy. Diving deeper into this new interest, I read every book and watched every documentary remotely related to the topic. I was quickly exposed to the immense web of concepts, theories, and questions that made up our understanding of the Universe. Cepheid variable stars, merging black holes, binary stars, neutron stars, and quantum gravity orbited my mind as I studied. It became clear that astronomy was much like the ecosystems I had studied during my childhood. In the same way that Red River Gum Trees, Koalas, and Dingos were all connected through the food web of the Outback, the fields of stellar astrophysics, extreme astrophysics, and theoretical physics were connected through advancements in knowledge. New understandings about stellar evolution can help us better understand black holes which in turn provide an environment where neither quantum nor gravitational effects can be ignored and the idea of quantum gravity must be introduced. Every new bit of knowledge is a puzzle piece that adds to the clarity of our understanding of the entire universe. I want to become entangled in this web of connections and contribute some of my pieces to the puzzle. In ten years I hope to be working as a researcher at a university and contributing to the astronomy ecosystem. I hope to combine my passion for extreme astrophysics topics, like black holes and neutron stars, with my interest in theoretical physics to develop ways to investigate quantum gravity. I’ll work in coordination with quantum physicists to understand gravitons, which by then may no longer be theoretical, and develop an understanding of gravity that utilizes the principles of quantum mechanics. I’ll have only held a PhD for a few years by that point but I hope that I will already be pushing forward to answer the questions about the universe that have long intrigued me. Ideally, I’ll also be working as a professor, ensuring that future generations continue to love and be fascinated by astrophysics. While my passion for research was sparked by biologists exploring ecosystems all over our planet and I still hold a great appreciation for them, as someone who isn’t a big fan of mosquitos it seems only natural that the ‘ecosystems’ I choose to explore are ones in the cold depths of space.

I think one important personal finance lesson that everyone should know is to start saving up for retirement as soon as possible and investing as soon as possible. My economics teacher told us this in freshman year while we were working on our final projects and it has stuck with me. It's made me realize how often we think about just the next step; getting into college or getting a job, but we seem to forget to look far ahead too. In order to be financially comfortable when you retire, you need to have a good deal of money saved up. The sooner you start saving, the more you'll have for when you retire.

My favorite piece of art is the Boulevard Montmartre at Night by Camille Pissaro. I discovered it while researching impressionism for a school project. I find the piece to be very comforting. My parents are both Polish immigrants and before the pandemic, we would visit our family in Warsaw every Christmas. The scene from the painting reminds me of the beautiful Christmas lights that would be hung throughout the older part of the city. It brings back many beloved memories from my childhood, which are even more meaningful now that I haven’t been able to visit Poland in a few years. This has always been my favorite thing about art. How it can bring you to another time or place that is so far away, but with some masterful brush strokes can seem closer than ever. It is an effect that I hope I can someday achieve with my art.