On November 8, 2022, at 9:37 p.m., my father died peacefully at home. The day had been strangely warm and sunny, a sharp contrast to what would happen that night. After his death, I felt disconnected from reality, as if I were watching my life from the outside instead of living it. While others cried and tried to comfort my family, all I wanted was to escape. I tried to leave the house, but my aunt stopped me and pulled me into a tight hug. In that moment, I broke down harder than I ever had before. In the days and months that followed, I was overwhelmed with guilt. I replayed every harsh word I had ever said and every moment I had chosen something else over spending time with my father. The guilt I carry most is from the morning of his death. I chose to go to school, even though something deep inside me felt like he might not make it through the day. I convinced myself it would be easier if I did not witness it, but in doing so, I missed his final hours of consciousness. Although I was there when he took his last breath, I still struggle with the shame of not being there before that moment. For over a year, I lived in that guilt. I constantly thought about what I could have done differently. People told me I needed to face my grief, but instead, I avoided it. I hid behind distractions and pushed my emotions aside because it was easier than confronting them. The year 2023 passed in a blur of pain, regret, and emotional numbness. At the start of this year, something began to change. I realized that avoiding my grief would not make it disappear. Instead, it would only distance me from the memories of my father. Slowly, I began to confront my emotions. I stopped masking my pain with humor and carelessness and started allowing myself to truly feel it. This process has not been easy, but it has helped me grow both emotionally and mentally. Facing my grief has also given me a new sense of purpose. After losing my father, I decided that I want to dedicate my future to fighting cancer. While it may seem like an ambitious or even unrealistic goal, I would rather try and fail than never try at all. I want to study this disease and contribute to finding a cure so that fewer families have to experience the kind of loss mine did. Before my father’s death, I had no clear direction in life. Now, I feel a strong sense of purpose and motivation. Losing my father taught me something else as well: life is fragile and temporary. One day, all of us will be gone. Because of this, I no longer want to hold myself back. If there is something I want to do, I will do it. If there is something I need to say, I will say it. I want to live a life without regrets, knowing that I made the most of the time I was given. Although losing my father was the most painful experience of my life, it has shaped who I am today. It has taught me resilience, given me purpose, and changed the way I see the world. When my time comes, I want to know that I lived fully, made a positive impact, and carried my father’s memory with me every step of the way.

¨Building Stronger Communities: My Mission After Service¨ By- Margaret White I will never forget the first day I walked into that JROTC classroom. It was the first day of freshman academy, and I was terrified. I did not know anyone there, and the idea of having to talk to new people seemed insurmountable. Little did I know just how much JROTC would change my life. From being a scared freshman to becoming the Commanding Officer of the JROTC unit, I have changed completely. The person I was when I started JROTC and the person I am now are completely different. I learned how to be confident, respectful, and, most importantly, I learned how to persevere. I will be honest, I never wanted to be in JROTC. I only joined because my brother said it would be fun. But that decision to join has been one of the smartest things I've ever done. I immediately became very involved in the unit, starting as a member of the Drill and Color Guard teams. I quickly earned my first staff posiiton which was as the Community Service Officer. In this staff position, I had the chance to work with local volunteer agencies to plan Unit Community Service, with the most notable agency being Rising Hope Farms, where I continue to volunteer to this day. JROTC is what taught me just how important it is for people to give back to their community. Aside from the obvious benefit of making one's community a better place, frequent volunteering, especially with JROTC, is a great way for young people to make a name for themselves within their communities. Some of the relationships I made from volunteering are ones that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. JROTC helped me to be more involved in my community because of the values of confidence, respect, and perseverance. I have the confidence to not be afraid to ask someone if they need help, the respect to understand that people come from different walks of life, and the perseverance to push through tough times in order to achieve a common goal. Before I started high school, I really did not know what I wanted to do in my career. But now, as a high school senior, my future goals are clear. In addition to teaching me about the importance of community service, JROTC has also shown me the value of service to one's nation. By talking to my instructor, Chief Cline, and many other veterans, I have learned that there truly is no greater honor than serving one's country. This fact is why, upon graduation from high school, I plan to attend college on an Army ROTC 3-year scholarship, where, upon graduation, I will be able to serve my country as an Army Officer. I would not have been able to earn this opportunity if not for the values JROTC taught me. I did not mention it previously, but during my freshman year, I lost my father. JROTC helped me get through this, though. JROTC gave me a goal I wanted to reach, this is why if I had a theme song it would be ¨I Wont Back Down¨, by Johnny Cash. Overall, I truly believe that I would not be the courageous, confident, and determined person I am today if not for JROTC.

On November 8th, 2022, at 9:37 pm, my father died peacefully at home. That particular day was ironically warm and sunny. After it happened, I felt as though I was a spectator viewing my life from the outside, like I wasn't actually there. Everyone was sobbing and trying to comfort us, but all I wanted was to be away from everyone. I just wanted to get out of the house, but my aunt must have known that it would not have been good for me to be alone, so she intercepted me with a near bone-crushing hug. I have never cried as hard as I did when she embraced me. Following this loss, I was plagued with guilt over every harsh word and all the times that I chose other things over spending time with my father. I felt, and still feel, the most guilt about my choice to go to school on the morning of November 8th. Something in my mind knew that he was going to die that day, and I believed it would be easier for me if I wasn't there to see it, so I missed my father's final hours of consciousness. Fortunately, I was able to be there when he took his last breath but I still feel the shame of not being there before he lost consciousness. For over a year after his death, I would dwell on what could have been different. Everyone was telling me that I needed to face my grief, but all I did was hide from it. The year 2023 passed in a blur of pain and guilt. It was not until the start of this year that I finally began to confront my emotions. In my experience, hiding from my emotions is much easier than trying to decipher all of the complex things that I feel. Every deep and frightening thought I had was wrapped in a disguise of humor and carelessness. In recent months, I've started to remove the veil from that intimidating wall of emotions. While it has been difficult to think back on what happened, it has definitely helped me grow emotionally and mentally. Understanding that if I didn't face my grief, then I would forget my father has propelled me to face it head-on. My father would want me to move past this pain and face this messy, beautiful world with a smile on my face, rather than waste time dwelling in the past. After losing my father, I decided to devote my future career to putting an end to cancer. I will study this disease and give it my all until the day that cancer has a cure. When the loss happened in 2022, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but now I have been given clear direction for what to do with this precious life. A question that has been in my mind since the day he died is, would he be proud of me? The true answer to that question is that I have no idea, but it is what pushes me to put my best foot forward during every challenge I face. Losing someone is a horrible thing, but after losing my father I understood that someday all of us will be gone. This realization is why I will never doubt myself when there is something I want to accomplish. If there is something I want to say, I will say it. Whenever I die, I will go knowing that I made a positive change in this world, and I will have no regrets.