If I were to choose a song from 1989 (Taylor's Version) to be a part of my soundtrack of the year, I would choose "Now That We Don't Talk" (Taylor's Version). The beautiful thing about Taylor's songs is that there are so many ways to interpret them and so many ways to connect with them. This song itself talks about losing touch with someone you knew so well; and all you're left to do is to pick up the pieces of yourself, while also left with your overbearing thoughts and questions as you reflect on. And that is how I felt about losing my most important friendship. My friend and I had been friends for 12 years; and I thought that there wasn't anything that could get in the way of our friendship. But in the summer of 2023, our friendship was slowly declining as she started to get closer to other people. Each passing month, it kept declining until it didn't exist anymore. It was too much pain for me to even be her friend anymore, so I slowly let her go, and still do. "I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost/And what it cost." And it had cost me a lot. There's always two sides in a story, and my side is filled with heart-clenching pain that involved silent cries into the night to not wake up my roommate. It lead to episodes of depression because she was always one call away, however wasn't present in my life or our relationship. There was also strands of hope that made me believe it would work out in the end. That hope was me trying to mend our friendship, it was me trying to catch up every once in a while, and it was me who was trying. But she kept fading; I had to "Remind myself the way you faded till I left". I had to keep my distance, which led to me leaving our friendship behind. I went a whole month without texting her and hoped for her to start a conversation. And when she did, it was the most random thing ever, not even a greeting or to even catch up. I was so disappointed. The pain still consumes me once in a while, and I wonder how she's dealt with the loss of our friendship or if she even feels a gap. “What do you tell your friends we/Shared dinners, long weekends with?” We're still connected to the same circle, however we don't keep up with each other's lives anymore. We've become strangers to one another. When I had first made this connection with the song, I laughed to myself. I found it amusing how this song sums up my dying relationship. Not only can I connect to the pain, but also find it empowering. Picking up the broken pieces is never fun, but the end result is worth it. It will take a while to heal fully, but I know that with the support of this song, I will rise above the pain. "Guess maybe I am better off/Now that we don't talk".