Addiction is nothing new to my family. My dad was addicted to cigarettes until just recently, now switching to vapes. I, unfortunately, followed suit with his cigarette addiction. I was first introduced to cigarettes in high school with some of my friends. We loved watching old movies, and they commonly advertised cigarettes, unfortunately. One day, my friends and I wanted to try it at least once. We knew the consequences of smoking, but it never really clicked in our heads. Back then, we were just curious teenagers trying to have some fun. At first, I coughed for about 5 minutes straight and threw up immediately after that. It was embarrassing. I thought I was going to look like those actors in those movies. Not a care in the world, the quintessential 'badass.' Unfortunately, that was not the case, and I found myself wanting more the very next day. After that, it was all downhill from there. I made up excuses to my parents just to smoke or obtain cigarettes. I grew up in a strict Asian household, so I was very paranoid about myself, but I continued to do it. I brushed my teeth immediately after coming back from smoking so as to erase the evidence. The addiction caused a downward spiral in my life. I ended up spending less time studying just to smoke, and my grades reflected that. My 'friends' from earlier ended up splitting up after the coronavirus, and I was all alone with an addiction.
One day my dad found. I was going out too much to smoke, even though it was a pandemic and we were all supposed to stay inside. He exploded, to put it lightly. He was disappointed with me. I was angry and blamed everyone but myself. In my mind, it didn't make sense for my dad to scold me since he smokes/vapes too. It was hypocrisy. I ended up thinking about that moment couple of days. Was he right? What am I gonna do with my life? What if he cares about me and doesn't want me to end up like him? All these questions, no answers, but a lot of time later, I ended up deciding to stop this addiction and get my life together. I definitely had urges, I even relapsed once, but my solution was to substitute cigarettes with hard candy. Not only did I stop smoking, but I ended up taking school seriously. I found my passion, which is computer science. I started being more social, slowly but surely. I started working out, fixing my diet, fixing my sleep schedule, etc. I'm proud of what I have achieved in two years, but the journey is not over yet. Money is still a problem in my low-mid-income family, but I started a part-time job to help with that. Ultimately, I am glad and thankful for this experience, as it made me who I am today.