\When explaining the subject, or emotion, of losing someone who meant the world to you, there comes the point where there are just no words to describe it. In October 2018, my father, the only person who truly understood me, passed away holding my hand. In August 2018, he was diagnosed with stage 4 bile duct cancer, the central opening to your liver. After this, his health took no time to decline, and in less than four weeks, it was to the point he couldn't talk or move. At age 13, this did not make sense to me. I did not understand what my family nor I did to deserve someone so close to us to be taken away in such a short time. My dad was my protector, inspiration, and punching bag when I had a bad day. But after October 17th of, 2018, he wasn't anymore. After his death, nothing seemed to make me happy anymore. I became severely depressed and suicidal at a young age questioning why God would take him and not me. The idea of someone losing a loved one, everyone wants to tell you it's okay and things will improve. They inform you that they are there if you ever need anything, yet one month after someone passes, everything returns to normal, and people forget how badly you are suffering. Since my father passed away with me being such a young age, I was lost. I had no idea what to do or how to cope. I became a father figure to my sister, and at age 14, I began working three jobs to help support my mom. In this happening, one of the biggest lessons I learned was to value time and to keep pushing on no matter what. I never thought I should respect my time with the people around me until I realized how quickly it could be taken from you. It has been four years since my dad passed away, and today I am thankful for the lessons his death taught me. I followed his words of me reaching the stars in everything I do and have achieved things I would never have dreamed of doing when I was 13, and I continue to use my dad's motivation in my life. When my father was still alive, he always bragged to everyone about how I could be friends with anyone I saw. He encouraged me to take a path that deals with the community and public, and as soon as I turned 14, I followed his words. I have been employed at Chick-Fil-A for almost four years now, and I am the youngest manager in the history of Chick-Fil-A. With this time of employment, I have made it my career and will pursue higher education in business to continue dealing with the public, just like my dad told me. Though his death still kills me inside, I have taken it as a stepping stone and not let it tear me down in anything I do. I have learned to fight and use the conflicts thrown at me to achieve remarkable things.

Throughout my childhood, I was always raised in an environment to put other people before myself. Which at some times is not the best for my mental health, but overall conquers any joy that can be obtained from anything else. My grandparents being the owners and operators of a non-profit organization named The Agape Service Foundation, have shown me how to live my life serving others to make someone's day a little bit easier. Throughout my high school experience, the main humanitarian act that I have contributed to is my church. My church, being a primarily big church, has done and assisted in so many community acts of service. In many of these, I have assisted. When the tornadoes hit Kentucky, it was one of the most devastating natural disasters we have seen in the history of our state. It completely ruined lives and changed how people see their time with people since so many people were killed by the disaster or permanently injured. With this, my church nor I could sit still and let this ruin people's lives, so we reached out. Within the past year, I have assisted in making food boxes and delivering them, along with assisting in cleanup and the rebuilding of people's homes that were destroyed. I volunteered at the shelters the night this all happened and ultimately devoted my time to those who lost everything. Along with volunteering with my church for the aid of the people who were affected, I also serve as a children's youth group leader and play piano and sing for worship services held in both main and youth churches. Although this may not seem major in working for the community, the time and hours of my life that I have poured into other people to make sure that everyone feels the love of God is uncountable. I serve every Sunday and Wednesday, and continuously put all of my efforts into making sure that people receive something remarkable each time. Outside of church, I am an active employee at Chick-Fil-A. With this amazing company, I have attended many different events with them, devoting our time to the community and its needs. Some of the experiences that I have volunteered for is the cooking and serving suppers to the homeless in the heart of Nashville, and assisting in my local humane society by doing things such as walking the dogs, cleaning the pens, and feeding them on their normal schedule. Community service is not just an act of service, it's a lifestyle to be able to feel in your heart that you need to give back to your community. Until I am physically no longer able to do the things I am doing now, I will continue to help make the world a better place, one act at a time. In the future, I plan on continuing serving for my church, and to continue serving at my grandparent's non-profit.

While growing up in a high school where college is not commonly aspired to attend, it tends to make you question what is the point in going? Higher education is not only a dream to have because of its economical advances in the job world after, but it is a sense of pride earned. Higher education could show my town and high school that I did it, I achieved things that are not commonly sought after by other students. Growing up a straight A kid, things that did not make sense to other students, functioned in my brain differently. I have always been able to achieve my academic goals easily without having to really try. During the pandemic my high school life was cut off for two years, and being an online student learning new content online with myself as a teacher is not easy. Those times where I could simply pass the class without trying changed throughout this pandemic and the work ethic and drive I have to continue my education after the slow of the pandemic was at it's all time peak. Higher education personally, would make me show to my parents that i'm capable of doing what I put my mind too. With the passing of my dad in 2018, hundreds of people donated to a fun to make sure that if my sister and I did decide to pursue a higher education that we could. The weight of all those people putting their hard earned money towards my sister and I having a better future, honestly gives me goosebumps to think about. Not only would I pursue this for my father, but to all those who loved and deeply cared about my dad and our family. Pursuing an education after high school requires a lot of work ethic, and over the past three years I have attained a work ethic that is complimented. Since working two to three jobs since the age of 14, pursuing a higher education gives me relief that one day, I can support myself with a job that I earned a degree for, without simply killing myself to attain it. Higher education can mean a lot of things to different people. Some think that it is worthless in today's age, but to me it means that I personally overcome every hardship that was thrown my way, and set myself up for a future that I earned and achieved myself.

Mental illness is more than just a sickness, it's a death note. Many students and teenagers including me, struggle with mental illness' every single day. Although I used to struggle with depression and the thoughts of suicide, I ultimately have defeat this sickness and will forever be proud I did. Being a teenage boy is not easy. Your peers pressure you into things you don't need to do, the constant urge to need to feel equal to the other guys in your school, and the ability to open up about things that makes you have a sense of weakness. The last detail is what got me. After the passing of my father in 2018, I have always struggled to be lead in the right direction by a manly figure. I would often have to do things by myself, figuring out the right path and the right steps I needed to make sure things were done correctly was difficult. I had no guidance, no help. But the one who struggled most with this was my sister. My sister loved my father with everything inside of her just like I did, but you know, daddy's girl, and after the death of him she had no one. And that left me. This constant need to help her and watch over her, not show weakness or things that I struggled with was draining for me. The emotions that bottled up, and the thoughts that would go into my head ultimately killed me. I entered a state of depression, not being able to show it because of the need by my family for me to be strong. Or at least that's what I believed. "I am a child", I finally realized after several suicide attempts and months worth of emotions built up, why am I putting on a facade that I'm okay when I'm not? I need my family just as much as they need me. Over time I began to realize mental illness' are not easily fought alone. I dropped the boundary and reached out. My family and friends are what got me through the depression. Why in this day in age do boys have to show so much mental strength? Why is not accepted for a man to cry about his feelings? I overcame this depression and ultimately am in the happiest state I've been in since my childhood. I overcame by dropping my wall and learning how to open up to my family and friends. Battles are easier fought together, than alone.

Living boldly and practicing bravery is a hard concept to live behind. With the turn in our world today, even walking out of your door is a sense of bravery. But that is not mine. I am an lgbt student at Logan County High School in Kentucky. Living in the south is not easy especially after coming out. Being placed on the bible belt is not easy either. Despite the down viewed comments and looks upon me I still live my life as I wish. Bullying was very difficult for me, especially through high school. I would often wish not to attend school in the mornings, simply because of the previous beatings I would get from kids who thought less of me. After discovering myself and truly realizing my sense of fear. I would go to school not caring what people thought of me, acting with a true sense of bravery showing that no matter the looks or comments I hear as I walk past would affect me. Bravery is hard to show, especially in this day or age. But with the right mindset and confidence, anything can be attained.

My mental health has always been a challenge since the passing of my father. It began to be so bad after the beginning of the COVID to the point where I was suicidal and put into a mental rehabilitation center for 2 weeks. One thing I took out most from having these struggles, is in the midst of you feeling alone, your family will always be there. My mother has helped me so much even though she was struggling with the same things. After coming out as Bisexual, my mother often struggled to still help me, but she always did. She gave me a reason to get up in the morning, a reason to do what I do and to continue to reach for the stars. My dreams I have for myself are huge, and without her support I don’t think I would still be reaching for them. Mental health problems are a sickness that never go away. Even though we say we are “fine”, most likely we’re struggling. I’ve learned to keep my head up and keep myself busy. The more time I have to think, the worse my health gets.

Loosing a parent has affected me in more ways than I have been able to face. After the divorce of my parents, a few years later my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. It took the cancer a month and a half before my dad couldn’t fight anymore and soon passed in October of 2018. After his passing I have struggled with serious depression, my anxiety and fear of loosing another person close to me has never left and will never leave. Constant flashbacks of seeing my dad take his last breath right next to me caused trauma I didn’t even know was possible, and then I began to run. Running solved everything. The only time I could get my pain and anger out was by running. Being a 6’5, 16 year old, brings many strengths in long stride and strength but sadly my body just couldn’t withstand it. I developed severe pain in my back and knees and lost the ability to be able to run like I did. Even though I can’t run, I am now a assistant track manager and teach kids the correct and efficient way to run. With attending a small school, we are often overlooked and some kids that I have helped manage are what led us to state for our multi athletic players who also play football. I will forever keep the sport of running alive and cherish the pain it helped me with. The passing of a parent is not easy and the hole in your heart will always be remembered.