Getting overwhelmed in life is inevitable. However, single moms have a lot more stressors than other people and it's hard to find the time to unwind without feeling any guilt. People who don't have children get to choose when they unwind after a stressful day, whereas single moms sometimes don't know the next chance they'll get to unwind and sometimes it's interrupted by the responsibilities of being a parent. I used to feel full of guilt and lost when my son went to his dad's house for the weekend. I didn't know what to do with myself. I had given so much of myself to being a mom for so long that I forgot how to be alone and what I liked to do with my free time. After expressing these feelings to my therapist, I now know that I should take that time I have alone to reset myself so that I'm a better mother in the long run. I came to the realization that I should never procrastinate when I have free time. I know it's rare for single moms to get the opportunity to relax and that makes me so grateful that I have a chance to regularly. After I drop off my son at his dad's house, I go home to clean and work on the assignments for school that are due and get ahead for the following week. When I'm done cleaning and studying, I can feel the weight of the anxieties of my life lift from my shoulders. I love to catch up on my favorite shows, work on my shadow work journal, practice some self-care, cook a nice meal for myself, and get some quality sleep. These techniques help me reset myself because it reminds me that I'm not only a mom - I'm still my own person. I still have my own hobbies, interests and needs. It's important for all moms, single or not, to realize how important it is to take care of their mental health without feeling guilty about it. Society has made it so controversial for moms to be selfish sometimes. Why? As the common knowledge of mental health and self-care progresses, I feel that society will continue to be easier on single moms. Hopefully, there will be more resources and community support to help all single moms have the chance to unwind without feeling the weight of guilt.

When I began therapy sessions, I thought, "Why doesn't everyone do this? Why is going to therapy so taboo?" I couldn't understand why the people in my life; my parents, siblings, and friends, were tolerating their hardships alone. Why did they keep their emotions repressed? How much better would society be able to progress if the stigma for mental health was lifted? Mental health is important to me because I went through most of my life not knowing that intrusive thoughts and obsessive behavior were not normal - or even that I was experiencing them. My symptoms were not taken seriously by my family until I got to the point where I couldn't cope with them anymore. "Oh, you're just a particular person. You just overthink everything." I got to the point of developing unhealthy coping skills, just because I didn't know that what I was experiencing wasn't normal. A year after I had my son, I was diagnosed with OCD. Mental health is meant to be proactive, not reactive. If I had known earlier in my life that my symptoms were not normal I would be a lot further in life than I am now. I dropped out of college because the weight of OCD held me down so much that I couldn't focus on everyday life, let alone my studies. I couldn't focus on where I wanted to go in life - I couldn't commit to anything and I was never consistent with anything I did. Therapy gave me a lot of tools to help with my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. It taught me how to recognize when I was expressing obsessive behavior and why I was experiencing it. Now, to help with my intrusive thoughts, I picture a big stop sign in my head and repeat to myself, "Stop, stop, stop," and the thoughts go away. When I'm feeling anxious, I ground myself by thinking of things I can see, hear, smell, taste and touch. Journaling helps me make sense of any hardships that I go through and helps me pinpoint when I'm experiencing the "red flags" of my mental health. I know how to identify what I'm feeling now and how to prevent anxiety/panic attacks. When my mental illness put a hold on my life, therapy and healthy coping skills made me feel like I had a chance at a happy, healthy life instead of just going through the everyday motions.