When I began my time in college, I thought that mental health was something I could willpower my way through. I had earned almost straight As with minimal effort throughout high school, and I believed that college would be the same. I was wrong. About a week after reaching Brigham Young University, I began to face the hardest and longest-lasting mental health episode of my entire life. I was almost two thousand miles from home, had no proper coping mechanisms, no proper study skills, no support system that I felt I could confide in, and I was crippled with social anxiety. Usually, when someone fails their first year at college, it is because they are busy partying and having fun. That was not the case for me. Although I sought psychiatric help soon after, it was extremely difficult for me due to the severity of my depression. There were many times that I woke up to a phone call from my therapist, barely flopping out of bed to open my laptop for the appointment. It took well over a year to truly get out of this episode. There were good and bad days, of course, but many were full of sleeping and avoiding my responsibilities and stressors. I took a year off of school and have yet to (and probably will not) return to Brigham Young University. In this gap year, I spent a week in a psychiatric ward, followed by three more weeks in a step-down program. Although medicine is not for everyone, it was what I needed. As I worked with psychiatric professionals, I was able to do trial and error until I found what worked for me. I still experience difficulties in my mental well-being, but I have worked hard to prioritize and help my mental health be in a better space. The first step was to willingly acknowledge it existed and that I needed help. From there, I had to learn to trust the process. My mental health would not magically disappear, and I may never be completely free from the negative side effects thereof, but I can trust that every step forward is a good step. Quite possibly, the hardest step was becoming comfortable asking for the help I needed. I was not used to confiding in others or asking for help. I prided myself on my independence and strived to be someone others could rely on. However, you cannot pour from an empty bucket, and my bucket had been dry for ages. I stepped back into school online at SNHU in June of 2023, over a year after I had left BYU. To say I was afraid would be an understatement; I was completely petrified. I had failed so devastatingly that I thought it was just who I was. I thought I would always be a failure. Yet, as I have been willing to ask for help, keep faith during my bad days, and strive for consistency, not perfection, I have been able to succeed. Chances are, my mental health issues will never fully go away. Even now, I still have to work through hard times with the help of my family and psychiatric professionals. I am learning how to prioritize my time and energy in a way that keeps my mental health stable. Although I wish I could have been successful the first time I tried, I am extremely grateful for the chance to learn and grow through the experience. Even if I failed once, that does not mean I can never succeed again.

The act of writing itself is not what is important about writing. Oftentimes, the written word is underrated, especially with the rise in AI to write things for us. Although we constantly communicate via writing, it is overlooked as just a part of life. Yet, in reality, it is an important right to be able to express oneself. Many people do not have this ability; they cannot share their stories, perspectives, and struggles with the world. Writing is a conversation with people you will, more than likely, never meet. It is a scream into the void, begging for your voice to be heard, hoping someone else feels the same way you do, which is why literacy is necessary. The importance of writing lies in the messages and meanings of the work. What we write can impact society for generations to come. It is no wonder that books with bold, rebellious claims often are banned. However, there is a catch to this: much of the meaning in a work comes not from what the writer says but from what the reader feels, which can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations. For example, Pol Pot, the communist leader of the Cambodian Genocide, caused the deaths of more than two million people, using a loose understanding of Karl Marx's "The Communist Manifesto" as the basis for his leadership. Even if we write with good intentions, we cannot guarantee the message will be heard on the other side. I do not know if George Orwell, Edgar Allen Poe, Jane Austen, Marcus Aurelius, or Plato knew their works would be read many years after their death. I doubt that they thought about their works beyond the scope of their lifetimes. The most powerful writing does not try to be so; it is the sincere writing of a human experiencing life. Even fictional works fall into this category. One of my favorite short stories is Edgar Allen Poe's "A Tell-Tale Heart" because it perfectly encapsulates the feeling of growing paranoia. Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" portrays how a relationship grows and changes over time, how forgiveness and honor are valuable, and how family can be both helpful and harmful. Suzanne Collin's "The Hunger Games" series explores the complexity of politics, rebellion, and the impact of fearmongering on a people. The most crucial aspect of writing is editing, my favorite task. When I write a poem's first draft, I usually do one of two things: overexplain or understate. If you ponder the aforementioned works, you will notice that many do not state their messages directly. If they do, it is through the voice of a character, and it is done in a manner that still allows for personal interpretation. There are millions of books in the world. Some have been read millions of times, while others collect dust in the basement of university libraries. Although I believe the important part of writing is the work being read and interpreted, it is also important if the only person who ever reads your work is you. Our writing, fiction or non-fiction, is a snapshot of our feelings and our lives at the time of writing. It is a work of art, regardless of whether it is seen. The beauty of writing is tied to the possibility of changing the world, even if your life is the only one impacted. You, after all, are part of this world, and writing can change your life as much as anyone else's.