I wasn't born when my dad got cancer, but I was eight when he died in our apartment living room in the middle of the night. My dad hasn't been the only one in my family to have a life-threatening disease and illness. I can name three people in my life who have or are currently dealing with various illnesses varying from breast cancer, mental health, and pancreatic cancer. Healthcare, medicine, and hospitals were very prominent in my life, not because I needed to go but because of my dad's pancreatic cancer. Day in and day out were constant hospital visits and weekly or more chemotherapy treatments. I remember it too well, not just the wheelchair my dad was put in but the various other cancer patients who stayed at the VistA chemotherapy treatment building. I have seen the impacts of diseases and illness secondhand. These experiences, though traumatizing, have given me the motivation to continue my path towards the medical field.
Less than a week. My family and I had less than a week left to be with my dad. Not my enthusiastic, outspoken, and opinionated father but the bed bounded, inaudible, immobile man I never wished to see. Days went by, and time got closer until I woke up the tomorrow for my first day of school to see him, and the hospital bed he once laid in was gone. No more hearing “How was school today?” or celebrating our birthday on the same day and time. As well as losing a father, I lost a part of my mother.
Three million people in the U.S. are diagnosed with clinical depression every year. Winter of 2014 was the year clinical depression affected my mother the most. A bottle full of prescription pills was gone. The first ten numbers were dialed on the phone, crying, a familiar face entering the door, 2-4 unfamiliar faces and a stretch coming in, and more crying. In a short period of time, I experienced almost two losses while maintaining my education and good grades. It was already hard enough with grieving but now I had school and a new home life to adjust to.
Illnesses of all sorts were a part of my life, and they still are. And just like me, there are many young children and people who have experienced the same while pursuing an education. I may have witnessed these illnesses secondhand, but dealing with the grief while maintaining grades and my education took a negative toll. Despite having constant hospital visits, news of new illnesses affecting my family, and discouragement towards school and grades, they did not drive me away from having this desire and dream of being in the medical field. Because I have seen other people deal with so many illnesses back to back and all at once, it has motivated me to want to help others. I will not be that little girl playing doctor with my mom and watching YouTube videos on medicine and doctors anymore. I will, at one point, be a certified black Pediatrician helping children get treated for similar illnesses that have hurt family members of mine in the past. I will be that first-generation doctor/Pediatrician who helps other families and my community to ensure that their child gets better early before anything gets worse. And especially now, I will be an example for every African-American child who aspires to be a part of STEM and add more diversity to these industries.