I started writing creatively in middle school when I discovered that I could bring my daydreams to life on paper and explore my feelings about the world and the people around me. At first, I simply started by writing short stories and fan fiction. Still, then my love soon began to outgrow my small story endeavors, and my hobby soon turned into something I never imagined it would as I began to consider the implications of stories and learned about their potential impact on others. Through my own experience, I've found that people are more receptive to a story than to unsolicited opinions or anger thrown in their face. When given a chance to think about the meaning behind a story or the characters, people are much more willing to hear it, even if they disagree with it. Even if they don't listen right away, if the story is well written, it will stick with the reader for a long while after and slowly change them. Through those experiences, I saw firsthand how impactful words were in society, and how certain authors' stories were not just for entertainment's sake but a message to society for change. Those authors made a profound impact on my life, shattering certain paradigms I had, and encouraged me to go out into the world and make a positive impact on others, continuing the ripple effect of the book. Those types of stories are rare, and even rarer are the types of authors who know that their craft is not simply entertainment, but a way to influence society and create a better world. Those authors are willing to make a literary scene that leaves a lasting mark on society's heart. They write not for themselves but for those around them with the wild hope that maybe someone will listen to their wisdom and act. They are the voice, no, the scream of the deep-seated ache and desire for connection and reconciliation. They are the ones that remind us of our humanity and pain, reaching out through the pages, reminding us that we are not alone. Every time I sit down to write, I remind myself of how I want to be one of those writers. I remind myself to take the time to write well, not just for my entertainment or vanity. But out of love for people around me, so they, too, don't feel alone in this world. I want to craft stories in a way that will impact my readers profoundly and inspire them to continue the ripple effect of the story. I want to bring life to a dark world through my stories; I want others to feel changed after reading the last line of my book. Every day, I hope that the stories I have written will help change the world for a better, less dark future. So I write with that wild hope that someone will listen and not feel alone in this world, and maybe, act upon that hope and change the world in the way they can.

When I started writing stories in middle school, I scarcely understood how much weight words held in society. What began as a late-night hobby before bed soon became the calling God placed on my life. Writing became my passion. One dreary afternoon, I had a realization about the immense responsibility that came along with writing: how it is vitally important to uphold the integrity of one's beliefs as an artist and to be willing and humble enough to face the scrutiny of society's opinions. I knew I couldn't ignore my passion and calling. The only way for me to effectively change the world was to walk in that calling with everything I had, to honor God with what I wrote, and to spread his love through the written word; to go against the grain and speak into the dark places of the world. What brought me the most encouragement was knowing that Jesus did the same thing. He was the Great Story-Teller. He employed stories to teach the people around him. And he changed and continues to change the world through his stories. His approach was gentle and thoughtful, drawing inspiration from the world around him to connect with his audience. He went against the tides of society at the time and spoke into the darkness of people's lives. When I sit down for a writing session, I write to create a similar impact, with the same integrity and love that Christ had for the people around him. To speak love through my stories with a gentle yet passionate voice. I want readers to relate to my stories; I want them to feel they can change the world. But most importantly, I want my future readers to find Christ in between the lines and be changed by his deep love.

As I get older, I am increasingly aware of how fragile life is and the grief that comes with that. Regardless of the cause, we all feel grief in the same way. We may treat it differently, but when tragedy affects us and the ones we love, we feel helpless, weak, and unable to move forward and carry on. A few months ago, my best friend received a diagnosis that was life-changing for him, his family, and his friends. While I will be going off to college, he will be in and out of the hospital for the foreseeable future. I had been looking forward to going through this new season of life together and experiencing all the joys and the stress together, but unfair circumstances have deemed it otherwise. But despite this, my excitement for the challenging classes and the grueling hours studying has increased. Even though my best friend will be able to attend college in a few years, I have found that my reasons have changed. I am not only going for my education, but I’m doing it for him as well, and each grueling hour spent on papers and studying will not be in vain because I am not doing it for myself. I don’t know what it’s like to lose someone to homicide, but I do know what it's like to grieve over the reality that life will never be the same, and you can never go back to the way things were, when friends and family smiled without the weight of grief upon them. I know what it’s like when you drive by a place and can’t help but cry because the moments can never be retrieved. And I also know how influential art and music are when healing from those wounds of death and grief. Music has been extremely therapeutic as I process the grief of how life and my time with my best friend have diverged onto a path no one wanted, and no one expected. Music and art give words to the feeling I don’t know how to explain. Even though I’m a writer, there is so much prose can’t do that poetry, sound, and visual art can. Some instrumental tracks have spoken to me because they untangle my mixed feelings through chord progressions and mixed sound samples in the track that take me back to sweet moments I had with my best friend. Art does the same thing. Many of my favorite paintings tangibly depict grief or the artist's story, which I find myself relating to in small ways, drawing me closer to the work of art because of the grief they experienced. As an artist of prose and someone who knows grief intimately, I can only give back as I learn to write better to touch others and help untangle others' feelings with the words and images I write about. I want my drive to be my best in college, to be a signpost for people to see that it is not my ego to get good grades, but that it's about the ones I love, and to honor them with my hard work. My only desire is to help heal, love, and grieve with those closest to me with my words—To touch their hearts and tell them they are not alone.

The Waste Land: Part V 'What the Thunder Said' By T.S. Eliot "I sat upon the shore Fishing, with the arid plain behind me Shall I at least set my lands in order? London Bridge is falling down falling down falling down Poi s'ascose nel foco che gli affina Quando fiam uti chelidon—O swallow swallow Le Prince d'Aquitaine à la tour abolie These fragments I have shored against my ruins Why then Ile fit you. Hieronymo's mad againe. Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata. Shantih shantih shantih" In T.S. Eliot's poem The Waste Land, we see him wrestling with despair and disillusionment after World War I, but most importantly, where hope is in such a tragedy. The poem itself is dense but full of Eliot's shifting philosophy and paradigm of the world. Many people who read The Waste Land will see it as a poem whose clarity falls apart to show Eliot's conclusion that the world is filled with despair. However, the last few lines within The Waste Land and many moments and allusions throughout the poem show that hope still prevails amid tragedy and how Eliot's philosophy aligns with such a hopeful conclusion. It also exemplifies Eliot's exploration of spiritual awakening and redemption philosophy, influenced by Eastern and Christian philosophies. It also foreshadows Eliot's conversion to Christianity and new understanding of hope amid tragedy. To understand the end of The Waste Land and how that gives a sense a hope and Foreshadows Eliot's own shifting philosophy, it is essential to understand the first three lines in the excerpt provied which reads, "I sat upon the shore/ Fishing, with the arid plain behind me/ Shall I at least set my lands in order?" It is a connection to the story of the Fisher King. This story that Eliot alludes to many times throughout the poem is a medieval fairy tale of a king who is left to suffer from a magical wound and spends his time fishing near his castle. However, his lands are infertile and barren due to his wound. But one of King Arthur's knights, Percival, in his search for the Holy Grail, meets the king, heals him, and brings life back to the Fisher King's land. This allusion to the Fisher King, which Eliot uses multiple times in The Waste Land, serves a double meaning. While the Fisher King's wound causes a literal wasteland in his country and much despair, Percival comes along, heals the king, and restores the land to its former glory. This allusion then opens the poem to a much deeper meaning: hope still exists even when it seems that all hope is lost, and a new philosophical meaning to the text about redemption. Eliot also writes the last lines of The Waste Land in Sanskrit, alluding to the Hindu Brihadaranyaka-Upanishad, a religious text. The lines, "Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata," translate to "Give. Sympathize. Control." While The Fisher King allusion points to Eliot's toying with the philosophy of spiritual awakening and redemption, Eliot's use of small portions of the Brihadaranyaka-Upanishad can also shed further light upon redemption and hope amid tragedy and despair. The words "Give" and "Sympathize" are relatively positive concerning tragedy, especially with World War I in the back of many early readers' minds and Eliot's, who were struggling with disillusionment from the war. Those words breathe life into the text as a whole and show hopefulness in the text. Along with this, the last line, "Shantih Shantih Shantih," shines a big spotlight on the hidden underlying message of hope Eliot could have been exploring. In his notes on the poem, Eliot explains that it is "a formal ending to an Upanishad. 'The Peace which passeth understanding' is our equivalent to this word." Along with this translation, it is also a quote from the Bible in Philippians 4:7— "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." This is a strange ending with the poem's central theme being despair and the breakdown of hope as shown through the breakdown of the poem's language structure and readability. However, it is precisely in line with Eliot's exploration of a philosophy of redemption and ending the poem in an uplifted state. It also shows his wrestling with Christianity and how the religion deals with despair. The Waste Land is full of hope despite the common understanding of its gloomy milieu and illustrations. T.S. Eliot's philosophies—their creation and their changes—shine through the dense fog of the poem and enlighten the reader willing to be patient with the text and learn all the valuable things it has to say about hope and despair.

Recently, I have been frustrated with the gap between who I am currently and the person I want to become, both in my dream to become an author and a professor one day and in my academic life. I've spent much time reflecting on those dreams; much of my time is spent on becoming the person of my dreams. However, going from point A to point B has been an arduous journey; fighting myself and feeling like I'm not seeing progress. However, I was reminded of something my best friend told me one day, a couple of months ago, when I voiced my frustration. She said, "You can do anything you put your mind to." That phrase is cliché, but in the moment, I remember that it didn't feel that way because of who it was coming from. When I think of what empowerment means to me, I think of that simple encouragement from my best friend and the push forward she gave me. It still sticks in my head today because she was the one who said it. Empowerment is that steady push from best friends who want to see you succeed in life. While it's vitally important to receive empowerment from parents or guardians, it is even more potent when it comes from a close friend because it becomes evident that someone who is not related to you chooses to see you, decides to love you, and desires to see you chase your dreams. I have two best friends like that, and those dear girlfriends of mine would do anything to help me get to where I want to be. In the words of one of my favorite musical artists, Mat Kearney, from his song "Bullet," they are the ones who will "go to every show and promote from the start." Knowing I have two wonderful girls holding the line for me and pushing in ways I can't push myself is empowering. This type of love they have for me has caused a reciprocal effect. It has affected my life because I want to do the same for them and continue the chain of empowerment. Because I feel empowered to become the person I desire to be and keep trudging forward, I also want to empower them and encourage them to do the same. When women encourage and empower their friends and best friends, we become unstoppable and progress academically, developing new ways of thinking or tools to help others and the world. Now, although I still tend to get frustrated with myself, I can think of those words my best friend told me and remember that I don't have to be frustrated because she will be right there behind me, pushing me forward and cheering me on to change the world around me.

title: Writer’s Syndrome (FADE IN) Our Main Character, Maggie, sits at her desk covered in papers and notes, typing away at her computer. She sits back in her chair and looks out towards the window. The sky is gray. It seems it's not sure about raining. She sighs. All she does is type and type, but she doesn’t feel like she gets anywhere—always two steps forward and then one step back. Maggie: (thinking) I’ll never get this book done! It’s been two hours since she started on yet another session, writing the who knows what number draft of her book. She glances at her watch. She is about to meet a close friend for coffee. She packs up her things. CUT TO: COFFEE SHOP, IN LINE TO ORDER Barista: (peppy) Hi! What can I get started for you? Maggie: I’ll just have an iced chai latte. Barista: Alrighty…anything else for you? Maggie: No, that will be all, thank you. The Barista notices the WRITERS DIGEST magazine tucked under Maggie’s arm. Barista: Are you a writer? Maggie: (slight smile and dry chuckle) trying to be. Barista: (filling a coffee mug for a customer) Have you gotten anything published? Maggie: No… not yet. Maggie remembers the rejection slip she got just a few weeks ago for a short story she wrote and smiles fondly. At least she’s in the bull ring now, not just an aspiring writer. She is a writer. She tries to put her shoulders back and remembers to wear her failure like a badge of honor, but she still feels dejected. Barista: (Continues the conversation) Are you one of those writers trying to get rich? I hate those writers. Maggie: No! No, not at all. I never want to be one of those writers. I hate them too. Barista: Then what are you doing for? Hobbie? Maggie: (Considers the Barista’s statement for a moment) I mean… it started that way. Then it became something so much more. I just hope to change lives through stories, and I— Maggie’s friend, Olivia, comes in and cuts her off. They hug and exchange friendly greetings. Maggie: (mouths to the Barista) Sorry! Barista: (smiles and mouths back) It’s ok! Olivia: I’m gonna quick order something, then I’ll be over there, ok? Maggie: Sure! Maggie sits at the table for a little while and looks at her notes from earlier. She rubs her forehead as she scribbles away old notes and makes new ones. She hears her name called for her drink. Barista: Good luck with your writing; what you’re doing is pretty cool. Maggie: (sincerely) Thanks. Maggie goes back to the table where she was sitting. Olivia comes over, carefully carrying her very full cup of tea. Olivia: What were you talking about? Maggie: She just asked about my writing. Olivia: I heard you say something about changing lives, but your tone was not as optimistic as it usually is. Maggie: Yeah… Olivia: What changed? Maggie: I’m just mad about it all. Olivia: Ahhhh, I see. Good old writer's block. Maggie: The vision is there; the product is not. I just feel so stuck. Oliva: But you have a vision, don’t you? Maggie: (begrudgingly) Yes. Olivia: You can’t get anywhere without vision. Tell me yours again? Maggie: (soft chuckle of frustration) I want to change the world through storytelling because I know how impactful a story can be. And by changing the world, I don’t mean something epic and huge. Just one person impacted is enough… that’s what I try and tell myself anyway. Oliva: And why is that not enough right now? Maggie thinks about what Olivia said for a moment. Olivia: Remember, vision fuels us. And you're still working on the book, right? Maggie: Well, yes, I won’t stop working on it. Olivia: Then you’re moving forward. Take the writer's block as it comes, but don’t let it stop you. Maggie: Yeah… Oliva: No, I mean it. Don’t let it stop you. Period. Maggie: (resolved) Ok. She feels her spirit come back to her a little more, and it grows over her meeting with Olivia. That evening, she returns home and sits at her desk. She remembers what she said to Olivia—her vision statement. She digs around for a blank piece of paper, writes it down, and tapes it to her office wall. She won’t forget the vision. She will live by it. She will do what it takes to be authentic in her stories to hopefully change someone's life.

Writing allows me to slow down and notice the world around me. No matter where I am, I find myself writing snippets of prose in my head while I go through my day and make sense of the things of this world. I started writing creatively in middle school when I discovered that I could bring my daydreams to life on paper. I tended to move from one creative endeavor to the next, never taking the time to let my roots sink deep. But then I began weaving words together into sentences and paragraphs that eventually turned into stories. It satisfied my desire to make my daydreams come alive and tangible in my brain and allowed me to explore my feelings about the world and the people around me. As I did this, I considered the implications of stories and learned about their potential impact. In the books I read, I noticed the effect other authors had on me and my creativity, and thought to myself, "could I do that too?" As Steve Jobs puts it, I consider myself "crazy enough to think they can change the world." But I didn't necessarily want to do that overtly public. I prefer my space and solitude from the world to the constant need to empty myself of my thoughts and feelings to others, to the point of running dry. But words are so powerful. Society sometimes underestimates the power of words, but wakes up to that reality when they destroy the world around them with such vile statements. But I want to bring life to a dark world through my stories. I have felt that life myself and know how good it feels to read the last sentence of a book and feel changed. And my desire grew to have the stories I have written change the world for a better and a less dark future. People are more receptive to a story than someone shoving opinions and anger down their throats. My favorite example of this is Jesus of Nazareth, who employed stories to teach the people around him. Although I could never be as talented as he was, I see how he changed the world for the better through his stories, and I want to follow in those footsteps; his very gentle and thoughtful steps he took in his stories, taking inspiration from the world around him to relate to his audience. Although I enjoy setting my stories in fantastical worlds, I make my characters relatable to my audience by making them conflicted and fearful, just as I am. That way, I hope to break through the walls that people put up. As they read, they see themselves in my characters and see that there is a way to walk through fear and pain. When they finish the last line of my future book, I hope they feel changed and want to do the same.