I come from a large family with seven younger brothers. As a young teen, I felt like there was not enough room for me; each of my mom’s pregnancies was met with anxiety about what the new child would add to our family dynamic. However, as I’ve grown older, my brothers have been one of the biggest blessings I have had. Their distinctive personalities are beautiful to watch grow. I love pouring into them and molding them into respectful, kind young men. My mom announced her pregnancy in October 2024, and for the first time, I felt pure excitement. I rearranged my days to maximize my helpfulness. I went to school, then work, and would clean the kitchen before I went to sleep. No matter what my schedule was, I wanted to make sure my family was well taken care of. He was a boy, and only I knew the gender. I was planning a gender reveal party where I would surprise our family and friends. However, three days before the party, my mom had an appointment. I was in school and not on my phone until I read the text. The news wasn't good. No heartbeat. No growth. A week later what once was the growing child was surgically removed. I went straight home to help in any way I could. I watched my mom pick herself up while she mourned the loss of this little child. I stretched myself as thin as I could go, trying to wipe away some of the pain we felt as a family. Later that night I listened to her explain what happened to my little siblings and they sat and listened attentively. Too young to understand the weight of her grief, they each asked questions innocently about where the baby would go and why her stomach still had a bump. The strength she exhibited in those next weeks still inspires me. She remained kind and gentle, working hard to make sure each of her children were emotionally provided for. Her faith in God’s providence was evident as she found peace trusting in him. Our loss as a family made us collectively cling to the cross as we acknowledged our weaknesses. I have never felt closer to God than in those days of sorrow. Motivated by a love for my God and my family, I learned many things: a kind of hard work that keeps giving even when there is little left, patience for other people and patience in waiting to find joy, gentle and genuine kindness, and the privilege it is to experience life. My parents named him Nathan. I can confidently say that I am grateful for Nathan's presence in our family. While we never had the opportunity to see him face to face, his life was valuable from conception. Not only that, God used his life to pull me closer to him. While pain can seem inexplicably futile, suffering is a means for growth. This experience made me prioritize what matters to me. The Giles family motto resonates with me as it emphasizes the importance of kindness and hard work; values I hold very dear to me.