Music has amazing powers. Music is linked to more of my memories than any other sense-related thing. This might sound funny coming from an adult applying for a college scholarship, but, remember, I have three children. Anna Kendrick's sings "Get Back Up Again" on the Trolls soundtrack, and I love this song. It has a great message, and I sing it quite often. There have been some tough, terrible days, and I sing this on the way home, crying my eyes out. It might be because this soundtrack is played on a loop in my car, but I still think it has an important message. The song is about venturing out on an adventure and knowing that there may be bumps in the road, but nothing is going to keep you down. Things are going to be things that knock you down, but you will get back again. I cannot tell you how many times I have been knocked down, but I am still alive today. I have been thrown many obstacles in my lifetime, and I just keep on trucking. This is a very simple song, but I feel everyone can relate to it, from young to old. Sometimes when you do get knocked down, you cannot think rationally; you cannot make things meaningful because you are only thinking emotionally. You need simple instructions, in simple words, so it is easy to comprehend and complete. This song has just that. It is uplifting and reminds you to get back up again, and sometimes you need that reminder.

Currently, I work out of a police department helping people struggling with substance use disorder find treatment services and supplying them with life-saving measures such as naloxone and fentanyl test kits. As a professional, I struggle with referring individuals to facilities that lack quality care. There is a lack of treatment beds for individuals who do not have commercial insurance, so you have to use what is available. Even commercial insurance does not guarantee quality service just means more options. There is a lot of exploitation of these struggling individuals. Also, many hospital emergency departments are overworked, which brings compassion fatigue and a lack of empathy. These struggling individuals are having their worst day or string of worst days, and they need to be taken care of with that in mind. They need people who will listen and hear their verbal and nonverbal messages without judgment and ridicule. They need co-occurring capable treatment and not pigeonhole them into treating one illness at a time which leaves them treating nothing because no one knows which one came first. These are the reasons why I want to get into nursing. I want to become a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner (PMHNP) and open a treatment facility that gives quality co-occurring care. I want to use the knowledge I have acquired from sitting with struggling individuals over the past six years to create an environment that is encouraging, motivating, and conducive to achieving and maintaining sobriety. These individuals are our mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters who need empathy and compassion. My family has been impacted, and I do not believe anyone can say that addiction has not touched their lives in one way or another. I have not been successful at finding services for some individuals due to their co-occurring disorders, and I cannot help but think there should be an easier way for them. I found that if they could get someone to help with both disorders and have the treatment focus on coping with both and educating on how one might impact the other, they could achieve long-term sobriety as well as stable mental health. These are just one of the gaps I found to be lacking in today's healthcare that I hope to fill once I get my nursing license and advance my career. In the meantime, I hope that not too many lives are lost in the interim. Hardships are all different for each individual. I can list hardships that I have endured, and you may not find any particularly hard. Daily I come into contact with varying individuals that endure their own hardships. Some are mindblowing, and others are my everyday obstacles, but that does not make them any less hard for that individual. I think this is the greatest takeaway from hardships is that just because you feel like you had it easier or tougher doesn't mean the person next to you's hardships are any easier or tougher for them. It is all about the individual, and that is why we need more person-centered care. If we focus on the individual, their strengths and weaknesses, their supports and barriers, we can have better outcomes in treatment all around.

Losing your mother at eight is very hard on a young girl. Her death changed the world. My mother died of salivary gland cancer. She found out at a routine dentist appointment; at this time, she had three very young daughters, I being the middle daughter. This was back in the 80s and 90s when cancer treatment was not advanced. She was the bravest person I know and fought a tough battle with a smile on her face, doing everything for others even while she was sick. My mother was always taking care of others, even on her bad days. My mother's mission was not to die until all her daughters would remember her. She succeeded in her goal. She left a lasting impression on me. Her loss devastated my family. My father became withdrawn and would only show emotion when he was drinking. He would only talk about my mother when he was drunk, so my eight-year-old mission was to get my father drunk as often as I could so we could speak freely about her. I was successful in most of my mission, but it was never enough. I never had counseling around my mother's death; it was not something that was offered at the time. We saw a counselor who would play games with us as a distraction but never actually talked about the problems. This doesn't make for the best mental stability. Over the years, I dealt with my issues in my own way. I became fiercely independent and determined. My mother showed me unconditional love like no other and instilled the notion that I could do anything I wanted to do. Since she died, I have always wanted to go into a helping profession. It has evolved over the years. I got my master's degree in clinical mental health counseling with an expertise certificate in substance use. Working as a therapist, I have come across many different types of people, and the group I had the best rapport with is people struggling with substance use. Throughout the last few years, I have grown frustrated with the lack of quality treatment programs available to people struggling with co-occurring disorders. I have grown so frustrated that I decided to return to school to become a psych NP and open a treatment center that shows empathy and client-centered care that doesn't prey on vulnerable individuals. At my age, to take on such a task with three children at home is not a small feat, but I had the best role model. My mother never gave up; she fought her battle with grace and all while trying to raise us girls. There wasn't a day that went by in my mother's life that she did not make me loved and special. If you ask anyone who knew her, they would all say the same about their interactions with her as well. I try to show my children that they are loved unconditionally and the most special things in the world to me, all while showing what hard work and determination can do. My mother showed me things in her battle, even though it took me until I was much older, to understand how hard she had to fight to live as long as she did back when treatment was very basic and to do it with a smile. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been to put on that smile, all while dying inside, knowing that you will never see your daughters grow up. So I try to give it my all with the time I have.