Growing up, I heard stories about the traumatic events that happened on Native American reservations. My mother, herself, grew up on the Cheyenne River Sioux reservation. She told me stories about her own heritage, the ceremonies she was involved in, the relationships she developed, and the family she had, but I also heard about substance use, domestic violence, abuse, etc, with stories from her own childhood. When I was 15, I saw these events for myself. They were no longer just stories that I heard growing up, but they were real events that happened to me. Because of these events, I went to therapy. At first, I wasn't sure if therapy was working. However, when I developed a relationship with my therapist, I found that therapy was effective. This is where I met my therapist and my love for psychology and the human mind began. This is where my journey in psychology started. When I was a senior in high school, I applied for colleges with a major in psychology. I was fascinated with the implications of therapy and the field of psychology as a whole. However, I saw the lack of these resources, specifically within the Native American community. I was lucky. I was able to find a therapist who would work with me. However, this is not the case for every single person, especially when they find themselves on a Native American reservation. Later, I was accepted into the program of psychology at Southern Nazarene University, where I have studied psychology for the past 3 years. I have learned more about trauma and psychopathology, which has driven my interest and goal of working with the Native American community. My classes have shown me my deepest passion in life: helping other Native Americans find mental health resources that they desperately need. When I graduate from Southern Nazarene University, I plan to attend a doctoral program in Clinical Psychology at Oklahoma City University. During my program, I plan to work with the Native American community to help find the most efficient way to help this population. Once I finish my doctoral program, I plan to work within the Indian Health Services as a clinical psychologist. I want to work with the Native American community to help this population, my population, with mental health resources that are desperately lacking. I want to be the person that my therapist was for me, specifically in the Native American population, because this population is desperately in need for these resources.

My whole life I have heard every adult tell me that I can do anything I set my mind to. “You could change the world as long as you set your mind to it.” They would say to me. Growing up, I never knew what I wanted to do with my life. It would switch between so many different things. Did I want to be a doctor? A nurse? A teacher? I never could decide. However, recently, I have decided what I want to do with my life. Now, this is only the basic career path, but within this career, there is so much I would like to do. I have grown up in Oklahoma, however, my relatives live on the Cheyenne River Sioux reservation in South Dakota. I have never lived on the reservation, but I have visited my relatives and have seen the conditions they live in. High crime rates, poverty, drug addictions, and so much more. Now, I don’t want to be a cop, but I strive to help the people of my community. I want to be a Forensic Psychologist. I want to be able to sit down with the people struggling and actually help them. I don’t want them to just be thrown in jail and labeled “criminal”. Because the people of the reservation are seen as lesser than the people who do not live on it, there is no active want to help these people. Instead, when they are caught with drugs, or they do commit a crime, they are automatically seen as guilty and thrown in jail. This does not help them, it only hurts them. I want to be the person to actually see these people are human beings and help them to rehabilitation. I want to see them move past the mistakes they have made and live a better life. I have seen people in my family fall to their drug addictions, and the police there do not want them to succeed. They just want to get them off the streets. In my heart, I believe that this approach is wrong. These people do not need jail, they need real help. This is how I want to change the world. This world might not be as big as everybody else's, but the reservation and the people on it are my world. They deserve the chances to succeed, just as much as the other people in this world.

In the summer before 5th grade, my parents told me that my grandfather would be coming to live with us. It was just for the summer, and it was only to babysit me and my sister until the school year started again. I was never close with my grandfather. He lived in Texas, and we had just moved to Oklahoma from Arizona. However, that all changed when he moved in with us that summer. On the first day of summer, I woke up to the smell of coffee being brewed. This was new because neither of my parents drank coffee. When I walked into the kitchen, my grandfather was sitting in this bright red reclining chair that we had in our living room. A cup of black coffee was in his hand and on the TV was Criminal Minds. I had never watched the show before, but I knew that he loved all things crime tv show. I didn’t stay to watch Netflix with him, but instead got something to eat and headed back to my room. This went on for a couple weeks until one day I decided to eat breakfast in the living room with him. That day, Criminal Minds was on the tv, as it had been for weeks now, but instead of giving it little attention, I watched it for the first time. I fell in love with the show, just off that first episode. That day, a new routine started for me. Every morning, from the second I woke up, I was excited. I would basically sprint to the living room, where my grandfather would already have his cup of black coffee, and we would start a new episode of our favorite show. This show was the reason I discovered my curiosity for why people commit the crimes they commit, but the show was also the reason I had such a close relationship with my grandfather. Because of the relationship I developed with my grandfather, I learned so many valuable lessons that would help me be successful in my major. The most valuable thing my grandfather taught me was to be compassionate with people, but to always keep my guard up. I believe that these qualities are important in the Psychology and Criminology field because you typically deal with criminals. You have to show compassion to get them to open up to you, but you also have to keep your guard up to protect yourself and not let people walk all over you. Without these valuable qualities I learned from my grandfather that summer, I would not have the interest in Psychology and Criminology that I have today, or be the person I am today.

Throughout my life, I experienced many different forms of mental illnesses. My grandfather suffered from depression and sadly committed suicide before I was born. In addition, my mother suffers from anxiety and depression. I also suffer from anxiety and depression, but I have never let myself use these conditions as a crutch. When I entered high school, I noticed my anxiety and depression was the highest it had ever been. My relationships with people were declining, and I found myself not able to perform every day tasks. All I wanted to do was stay in bed all day. I was numb, and I was scared about what was happening in my mind. However, my mother noticed all of this happening to me and she put me into a therapy program. Going to therapy is the best thing to ever happen to me. In therapy, I learned how to cope with all the bad things that were destined to happen to me. In addition, I learned that just because all of these things are happening in my brain, it doesn't mean I need to let it control everything I do. My mental health has also influenced my beliefs. Before I realized what was happening to me, I thought I was doomed for life. I thought I was going to be controlled by what was happening inside my brain, but I have now learned that this is the furthest thing from the truth. While I do suffer with these mental illnesses, they do not control me. I have the ability to do whatever I set my mind to, and this affects my every day life. I do not let anything stop me from what I want to do. My mental health has also majorly affected my relationships. When I'm in the lowest of lows, I tend to isolate myself from everybody around me. I want to be completely alone and I am scared that the people around me is judging me. However, with time, I have discovered that the people around me, and the people who truly care about me, will never leave me. They will always be there for me, whether I am on cloud nine, or down in the trenches. In addition to realizing this, I have also learned how to empathize with people. Before realizing what was wrong with my brain, I always judged people for how they acted. Now, I know that you never know what people are truly going through. People can be smiling on the outside, but going through the hardest things they have ever gone through in the inside. I have learned that I need to be kind to everyone, in all of the relationships that I have. Without having mental illness and dealing with my mental health, I never would have learned this valuable lesson. Mental health has also affected what I want to do for my career. Once I graduate high school, I want to major in psychology. With this major, I can help people who are suffering from the same things I suffered with in the past, and still suffer with to this day. I want to be the person people can turn to and tell them what is going on in their brain, so they are not scared, like I was years ago.