As a first-generation student navigating the complexities of academia, anxiety and her close friend depression have loomed close by along the way, waiting for the chance to strike and attack my mind. Like many others, these disorders compounded by the ongoing pressure of academic success have beat me down at times, making things seem hopeless in my already difficult journey. Alas, with the right support systems and proactive measures, I have learned to prioritize my mental wellness and give myself room to thrive, academically and personally. My journey with mental health challenges began long before my college years, as I grew up in a family where mental health was stigmatized, leaving me with internalized feelings of inadequacy and shame as young as 5 years old. As I progressed through high school, things only got worse, finding myself locked away in a dark room and isolated from all living beings whenever the possibility stood open. These two disorders paired hand in hand became formidable barriers to my academic success when it came to my first semester at university, severely impacting my grades and making me feel nothing less than a failure. I was hopeless, as I had lost my scholarship, and had to lie to my parents making the guilt inside me grow even more. Alas, with the support of loving friends by my side, they gave me the final push I needed after my first semester to embark on a journey of self-discovery and resilience. After bargaining with myself and others for what seemed to be forever, I sought out help, received a formal diagnosis, and began therapy to address my mental health challenges. Through therapy, I gained insight into different coping mechanisms such as journaling, seeking time outdoors, and diaphragmatic breathing, replacing my typical isolation routine. With these new factors in my life, managing my depression and anxiety suddenly became easier, lifting a weight off my chest and allowing me to work toward academic success once again. Embracing these various holistic approaches taken to prioritize my mental health, has allowed me to flourish and navigate any turbulent thoughts or emotions calmly. I walk outside on a sunny day, taking in the rays and looking around, realizing how grateful I am to be able to experience these feelings of calmness and bliss. I am aware of the absolute importance of resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity. Despite my mental hardships, I remain steadfast in my commitment to academic excellence and personal growth. I learned to advocate for myself, seeking our resources and accommodations when needed, and cultivating a supportive network of individuals to uplift and empower me. While there are still days when things may dip into negative feelings once again, I remember to not allow them to define me, and remind myself that it shall pass. My journey with mental health challenges and being stricken by the hands of depression and anxiety have been a testament to the power of resistance, self-discovery, and support. By prioritizing my mental wellness, I have improved my academic performance and also enriched my personal life. I hope to continue my journey of hope and healing, inspiring others to prioritize their mental wellness and pursue their dreams despite the challenges they may face.

I see the young faces of my mother, aunt, and uncle smushed together in a photo booth during the early 1980s. They each wear a smile on their face, seemingly feeling a glimmer of happiness in the darkness that consumed their young lives. A small, yet simple thing the three of them no longer have. Early childhood trauma has proven to lurk in the shadows of innocence, wreaking havoc on the lives of countless individuals. The consequences of such are harrowing and devastating, leaving scars on the psyche of those who were robbed of a better, happier life. Growing up in an environment plagued by trauma, I witnessed firsthand the impact early childhood trauma can have, especially on the ones who played pivotal roles in shaping my upbringing - my mother, aunt, and uncle. Their silent battles serve as a reminder of the criticality of effective therapy, intervention, and support. My mother, my heart, has battled with debilitating depression and anxiety her entire life, her spirit weighed down by the horrors of her childhood and early adolescence which when shared with me, ripped my inner being apart too. Her past haunts me, casting a shadow over her ability to embrace life fully. My aunt, the most selfless person, has found solace in the confines of her home grappling with the bottle for nearly 30 years. I hear her cry about her younger self, wishing things could have been different, simpler, and gentler. And my uncle, a doting father to me with a broken mind, was trapped in an endless cycle of Bipolar II disorder oscillating between highs and lows. His constant denial and fear of treatment served to exacerbate his suffrage, leaving relationships with individuals including myself in ruin, and a shattered, shell of a man wondering what could have been. In watching the effects be multifaced and hideous, permeating every aspect of their being, they faced impaired emotions and interpersonal difficulties, all the way to substance abuse, leaving the repercussions of my grandparents' iron fists to rule over all. Yet, amidst the shadows still looming over my loved ones, there is a glimmer of hope for children alike - in the form of therapy. I have known my true purpose has always been to become a therapist. While my journey so far has not come without difficulty, I envision myself becoming a beacon of hope for many who have suffered at the hands of their own. Through my studies of evidence-based interventions such as trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, EMDR, and more, I aim to empower individuals like my mother, aunt, and uncle to reclaim their lives and rewrite their narratives. By creating a safe and nurturing environment where clients can feel seen, heard, and validated, I hope to facilitate the healing process and leave them with a future filled with possibilities, and more importantly, hope. These experiences, while not my own, have instilled a deep sense of purpose and commitment to making a meaningful difference in the lives of others. The unimaginable hardships my family members faced motivated me to serve children and adolescents through therapy to allow them to live happily and realize their trauma does not define them. While I look back at the faded photo of my mother, aunt, and uncle, I desperately wish I could go back and hold them; show them a gentler, calmer type of love and life - because they deserve it. Every child deserves it, and while it may be personally rewarding, this journey never has been and will never be just for me. I'm doing it for them.