"A simple act of kindness can make a difference in someone else's world," is a quote I've lived by since elementary school. My inspiration to always be kind comes from my parents. More specifically, my mom, who passed away from stage four stomach cancer when I was twelve. My mom would always tell my sister and I, "find the loneliest person in the room and be their friend." I took this message with me, and continued to try and be kind to everyone. But when I got to middle school, I realized not everyone will always treat me with the same kindness that I treat them with. During my time in middle school, I was a bit quieter and the "popular" kids tended to pick on me. It hurt that people were mean to me, but I didn't let them take away my kindness. The day after I found out I only had a week more with my mom, I was sitting on the bus looking out the window. A "popular" boy, a grade older than me, came up to me and started yelling at me for sitting in his seat. I apologized, even though I had done nothing wrong, and then sat in my seat with tears in my eyes while I listened to him say awful things about me to his friends. That day, I promised myself I would always keep my kind and empathetic personality. You truly never know what someone could be going through. From then on I made sure to be the girl who smiled at others in the hall, even if I didn't know them. The girl who will compliment a stranger's outfit, and who will walk and talk with the students in the special education department. But most importantly, the girl who people can count on. During my time in high school, there was a retreat offered, called Operation Snowball. Operation Snowball is an overnight retreat that focuses on leadership skills, team-building, self-empowerment, self-discovery, and promotes an ATOD free lifestyle. I decided to attend, I wanted to meet more people and be more outgoing like my mom was. During that first retreat, I knew I wanted to be a director one day. I didn't want to be a director to be the "boss" or to look good on college applications, I wanted to be a director so that everyone who attended the retreat would leave with a new friend. I wanted everyone to know they are not alone, and that no matter what happens, I'm rooting for them. I was a three time participant, a two time leader, and finally, a director. During my last Snowball, I realized how much of an impact the program truly makes on the people who attend. During the dance, at the end of the first night, I saw a girl from the special education department dancing alone. I went over to her and handed her a glow stick, and I will never forget how happy she looked. She had the biggest smile and she danced with me for most of the night. Later on that night, towards the end of the dance, I went over to a teacher that I saw dancing alone. We continued dancing together for a while, and I didn't think to much of it. I was just trying to be a good person. The next day, that same teacher came up to me, and thanked me for making her feel included at the dance. That quote from back in elementary school, though as cliche as it sounds, is incredibly true. A simple act of kindness truly can make a difference in someone else's world. Even though everyone may not be as nice to me as I am to them, I continue to treat them with kindness and respect. There's a saying, "hurt people hurt people." And although that person is treating me unkindly, they could be going through something of their own. Everyone has bad days, but those bad days shouldn't define who they are as a person. I plan to carry this kindness with me throughout the rest of my life. I aspire to be an elementary school teacher one day, and in order for me to achieve this, I need kindness and patience. I know I will be successful in this career path, due to my past experiences. Including being named student of the year in my Child Development class, in which we lesson planned for and taught a preschool classroom. During my senior year of high school, I was enrolled in a course called Intro to Teaching. This class allowed me to intern in a local elementary school for a portion of my school day. Throughout my time in my field school, I confirmed that this was the right career path for me. Which leads me into why earning this scholarship could be incredibly beneficial for me. Student teachers are unpaid, and often spend most of their free time in the classroom. This causes a lot of financial strain, due to their lack of free time to try and find a job. Nonetheless, I am incredibly passionate about my future career path choice. I truly can't wait to have my own classroom one day, and make sure my students all feel cared for and supported. Not every student will come from a happy household, and that's why I want my classroom to be a safe and happy space for each and every one of my students. Thank you for considering my application.

I've been playing ice hockey since I was eleven years old. We were required to get volunteer hours, by helping coach the younger children. The first time I went to coaching, it changed my world. I knew helping children is what I wanted to do. I loved the feeling of them learning a new skill and their happy smiles. I would help kids go from crying out of fear, to smiling once out on the ice for the first time. I knew that's what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I continued coaching as a volunteer throughout middle school and into high school. I was finally offered a job there during the summer of my sophomore year, once I was old enough. I was incredibly excited knowing I get to work a job that I love. While others dread going to work, I get to explain how excited I am on the days I get to work. During my junior year, I was enrolled in a Child Development class. In which I got the opportunity to lesson plan, teach lessons and circle time, and learn to work with a teaching team. I always went above and beyond my teacher's expectations in that class. For example, one time we didn't have any books in the preschool classroom about our topic of the week. I decided to make a whole new book from scratch, by printing and cutting out pictures to glue onto construction paper. I then wrote a story, and stapled it all together. Towards the end of the school year, my hard work paid off and I was nominated as Student of the Year. During my senior year, I was able to enroll in a class called Intro to Teaching. This program allows me to intern in a local elementary school for a portion of my school day. I am able to work one on one with the students, teach a full class, and see what the "behind the scenes" of being a teacher looks like. Although being an intern was wonderful during my senior year, I was still very stressed out with hockey. Being double rostered on a high school team and travel team for the past three years has really pushed me to my limits. There are sometimes weeks on end, where I don't get even a day's break from hockey. My team during my junior year was wonderful and won the NIHL championship, but my team during senior year struggled a lot. This caused a lot of yelling from coaches, which further angered and stressed me out. The coaches would tell us we weren't giving our full effort, when we were. We just had younger and less experienced players that were pulled up. It wasn't our fault that we got screwed over, and it wasn't their fault that they were pulled up an age bracket. Despite the age and skill differences, our team learned to work together. We were all just doing the best we could in the sport we loved. We all became good friends, and going to hockey became an escape again. Hockey has not only been a place where my worries can go away, but has also led to me finding my future career path. This leads me into how this scholarship could benefit me. Student teachers are unpaid, and spend most of their time in the classroom. Therefore they do not have much free time to find jobs, which causes a lot of financial strain. I would be honored to win this scholarship, thank you for considering my application.

"I can do it myself" is a phrase I frequently hear myself saying. I always want to be the person helping others, not the other way around. But I've come to learn, I can't always do it myself, and there are times when I need to ask for help. When I was twelve years old, I lost my mom to her third battle of cancer. Throughout the course of her illness, I watched her lose her hair, her color, and become frail. Throw up buckets, hospitals, and sleeping in hospital lobbies became a normal occurrence. My mom went through an incredible amount of challenges, but she never lost her caring nature or her love for her family. After she passed, the world felt like it stopped. I sort of just became "numb," and I thought that I was only affected emotionally. When in reality, it would be the start to multiple mental health disorders. My first panic attack occurred after I had first gotten the news at the hospis, that my mom only had days left to live. I had never experienced one before, and I had no idea what was happening to me. One of the nurses who helped me calm down explained that I had just had a panic attack. That was the last time it happened for a while, and I hoped it was my last. But it wasn't. A few years later during sophomore year, I began having them again. But this time around, it only happened when I was playing hockey. I would get incredibly stressed out over any little mistakes I made, and when my coaches started yelling, I would just start to spiral. I was so angry at myself all the time, and I always needed to be the best I could be. But I was never enough for myself. I needed help, I knew I did, but I never reached out. These attacks continued throughout junior and senior year as well, and finally during my senior season, I reached out for help. My coaches talked with me and found out ways to help me distress, when I start to get overwhelmed. My high school coach told me that she knows the reason I get so upset is because I love the game so much, and she will never be mad at me because she understands me. Panic attacks were one of the mental effects following my mom's passing, however, it was not the worst one. After my mom's passing, I was diagnosed with severe OCD. The doctors said the most likely reason I developed this disorder was because I felt out of control. During my mom's sickness, I couldn't do anything to control the outcome, I just had to sit and watch her fade away. This led to me always wanting to feel "in control" and developing compulsions. I would sometimes take ten minutes just to get downstairs because of my compulsions. I would have to touch door frames a certain way, be the one to turn on and off the same light switch, and I was very aware of contamination. I thought if I didn't do my compulsions, something bad would happen. If my dad tried to do something out of order, I would freak out, and at one point it became paralyzing. I knew I needed help, but I was too scared to try and stop the compulsions. My dad had signed me up for therapy, but during this time, it was COVID. Which made it harder to do a lot of exposures due to quarantine orders. A lot of my in-home compulsions began to slowly fade, but once the quarantine order was lifted, my therapist was unavailable. I continued through freshman, sophomore, and junior year before restarting therapy. But this time, I felt a lot more connected to this therapist. She made things a lot less scary, and she would do exposures with me. One example of this is when we were trying to get over my fear of contamination. She had me go outside and rub my hands in the dirt, and then just sit with the dirt on my hands for the rest of the session. She did it with me, and as weird as it sounds, it worked. I have come incredibly far since seventh grade, and I am incredibly proud of my progress. I am no longer paralyzed by OCD, I still have compulsions, but I am able to overcome them. And although I do have OCD, I am not defined by it. I am incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to apply for Ella's gift. She sounded like a wonderful person, thank you so much for considering my application.

The first time I experienced a panic attack, was when I was twelve years old. I had just gotten the news that my mom only had a week longer to live, and I couldn't do anything to change or control it. After she passed away, I developed severe OCD and it became almost paralyzing. It would sometimes take me ten minutes just to get downstairs, due to me not touching a door frame correctly and having to back track to "redo" it. I always felt like if things weren't done in a specific order and perfectly, something bad would happen. I'd have to eat food in even numbers, and if I turned on the lights, I would have to be the one to turn them off again. Eventually, my dad told me it was time to try and get help. He set up virtual meetings with an OCD specialist, and it helped for a while. After the pandemic died down, I stopped having the time to attend the sessions, and my OCD ramped up again. Being a student struggling from ADHD and OCD is extremely challenging, listening to rambling teachers is always a struggle. But I've always found success through notes, notes allow me to organize the information in whichever way I need to, while keeping me focused. However, I still struggled with OCD outside of my school life, though not as severely as I did after my mom passed away. Towards the end of junior year, I was set up with a new therapist, and the first time I talked to her, something felt different. I just knew she was going to help me, she told me whatever exposures I did, she would do with me on the phone. My biggest OCD trigger was germs and dirt, and so she had me go outside, rub my hands in the dirt, and sit with the dirt on my hands for the rest of the call. Believe it or not, that worked, and I started to believe what she said about my other compulsions. I was able to do things out of order and realize that nothing bad would happen, and if something did happen, it was not a result of not doing a certain compulsion. During my senior year, my OCD was the best it has ever been. But another mental health disorder began to reemerge. Almost every hockey game, I would have panic attacks. I felt like no one understood what I was going through, and that they all thought I was being dramatic. One time I had a teammate tell me, "Mady, its not that deep," while I was in the middle of an attack. That was the first time I got harmful towards myself during a game. I took my stick and slashed my arm until it was bruised and discolored. My dad was nearby in the penalty box, and after the game, he pulled me over and told me this isn't healthy and it needs to change. He told me that he knew I had all the talent in the world, and to stop being so hard on myself. I knew I needed to change my mindset, and so instead of dwelling on every little mistake, I took each shift as a new opportunity. If I missed the puck, that's ok, there wouldn't be a game without mistakes. I am incredibly proud of myself and how far I've come, and I am incredibly grateful to have the wonderful support system that I do. Thank you for considering my application for this scholarship, it's an incredible opportunity.

For most of my life, I have been left out and bullied. I just could never seem to fit in anywhere, no matter how hard I tried. During my last two years in high school is when the thoughts were at their worst. Junior year is stressful enough with all of the "future deciding" tests, but when you add on getting bullied, it can get almost unbearable. I was in a very toxic friend group, of people who did nothing but talk badly about me behind my back and treated others unkindly. I never liked being with those people, but I didn't want to sit alone. While they would talk badly about others, I would get up and leave. When I got back, they would always give me disgusted looks or whisper to each other about me. I would often find myself crying in the bathroom because of how mean they were. Finally, I had enough, I cut contact with them and tried to go my own way. But that just made everything worse, I would get tik toks sent to me calling me a liar, or saying I was playing the victim, or calling me ugly and fat. It got so bad that eventually I had to block them on every social media platform because they kept telling me to kill myself. I was often scared to walk in the hallway, because they would yell things at me as I passed. I felt like things would never get better, but then Operation Snowball rolled around again. Operation Snowball is an overnight retreat focusing on leadership, self-empowerment, self-discovery, team-building, mental health, and an ATOD free lifestyle. I had been a three time participant and a leader once before this upcoming winter retreat. I decided I was going to interview to be a leader again, I loved snowball and I always felt accepted there. I was chosen as a leader and spent months preparing for the retreat. Once the retreat came, I was at the peak of my junior year. I had been so focused on planning the retreat, that I didn't pay much attention to what others were saying about me. During the activity "Cross the Line," I realized how many people go through the same thoughts as I did. Cross the Line is an activity where there are two lines placed on the floor, there is an adult reading off the questions and you cross to the other side if that question applies to you. It starts off with more general questions such as "Cross the line if your a dog person" but then gets into deeper questions like "Cross the line if you would change something about yourself in a heartbeat." They end each statement by saying, "Look around you, look across from you, how does that make you feel?" Another one of the activities that really impacted me was the closing activity "Angels." Directors and leaders all start as "Angels" and an adult reads off different statements while we walk around and touch the participants back. For example, the adults may read off a statement such as "Angels, touch someone who is not alone." And the point of the activity is that everyone gets touched at least once for each statement. When it was my turn to sit, and let others have a turn to be angels, I found myself realizing, I'm truly not alone. So many people here care about me, I matter. I felt so supported by everyone who attended the retreat. Not just by the participants in my group, but by the other leaders, directors, and adults. They all told me I needed to be a director once I became a senior. And that's exactly what happened senior year. I was chosen as a director and it was the most rewarding experience I think I've ever had. I was always important at Snowball, that felt like the only place I actually fit in. But the bad thing about that last snowball, was that once that retreat was over, my journey at snowball was over. After my last retreat during my senior year, I fell into a depressed state. I would never have a place to fit in again, snowball was the only place I had. I came to hockey practice, after being gone for a week prepping for snowball, and only one person looked happy to see me. I guess I deserved it, a few weeks earlier I had reached a mental breaking point and slashed my arm until it was severely bruised. And a week before that, after a bad game, I had gone into the bathroom and scraped my ribs with my car keys until my side was red and swollen. I knew something was wrong with me but I didn't know what to do about it. I had a therapist for my OCD and ADHD years prior, but she never really helped with mental health issues. My school counselors all just said I was always so angry, but I didn't mean to be. I wanted help but whenever I tried to get it, no one ever helped. I was always the friend that was there for everyone else, but when I needed somebody, no one was ever there for me. I am the friend who always checks up on everyone else, but no one ever checks up on me. I had promised my friend that I would stop intentionally hurting myself if I could control it, but I started taking out my emotions in different unhealthy ways. I stopped eating, to try and see if anyone noticed. I felt so alone, even when I was around people. I knew I needed to change my mindset, so I started thinking of all of the things I do have, instead of what I wish I had. I have a loving family, a few close friends, and a whole future ahead of me. I'm incredibly lucky to be living the life I am.

"Have a good day, be good people," is what I heard every time the bell rang after Mrs. McErlean's class. I loved that class, because I always felt like I belonged there. Mrs. McErlean is one, if not the most passionate teacher I have ever met. Anyone in her class can tell she loves what she does. She teaches the Child Development and Early Childhood Care program at my high school. I had the privilege of being in her class during the end of my sophomore year, and during my whole junior year. The first time I walked into her classroom, something felt different about it. She greeted us all with a smile, and actually took the time to know us instead of just our names. Mrs. McErlean is a wonderful role model, not only for her teaching style, but also for being so successful in life even after losing her mom at a young age, just like me. I admired and looked up to her a lot because of this, she was happy and had a wonderful family, even though an incredibly important person in her life was gone. She was open with us about her life, and I felt connected on a deeper level with her because of this. Throughout my time in her class, I never once felt anything other than supported. She was always there for me, not only academically, but also emotionally. She believed in me and saw the good in me when I couldn't even see it in myself. She was patient and kind towards all of her students, even when they didn't do what she asked of them. She set high expectations for her students, but made sure they were always supported enough to achieve them. I was a student who always made sure my work was done and went above and beyond expectations in the preschool classroom. This led to me being chosen as Student of the Year by Mrs. McErlean. I had never felt better about myself, my hard work had paid off. And even more so, the teacher I aspire to be like someday, had chosen me out of her two classes. Although I want to be an elementary school teacher someday, versus a high school teacher, I want to incorporate the values Mrs. McErlean had in her classroom into my own future classroom. I want my future students to leave the classroom everyday with a smile and knowing that someone cares about them. I want to support them in any way possible, not just academically. I want to know them as a person, and what makes them unique. I want them to like coming into my classroom everyday. And I want them to care enough to go above and beyond. Elementary school is such a crucial age, not only for academic development, but also for emotional development. A simple act of kindness can make a difference in someone else's world. I aspire to be as patient and kind as Mrs. McErlean in my future classroom. I want my future students to know how passionate I am to be there and to have them in my class. And that truly can make all the difference, Mrs. McErlean always stood out due to her teaching style. Even on her bad days, she carried herself with grace, and all of her students still left with a smile on their face. I wouldn't be the person I am today without the support of Mrs. McErlean, and I am forever grateful for the two years I got to spend in her class.

When looking for scholarships, this particular one really caught my attention. As I read more about Kalia's story, I could imagine what type of person she was, and it reminded me of my mom. My mom passed away from her third battle of cancer when I was twelve. She was described as sunshine by her friends, and was always there to provide support and kindness to others around her. From what I read about Kalia, she sounds very similar to my mom. My mom always told me, when she passed she didn't want to be mourned, rather, she wanted people to celebrate her life. And so that's exactly what I do, I cherish her spirit in everything I do and in everyone I meet. When I became a freshman in high school, they offered a retreat called Operation Snowball. Operation Snowball is an overnight retreat that focuses on leadership skills, team building, self-empowerment, self-discovery, and promotes an ATOD free lifestyle. I decided to sign up, in hopes that it would help me become more outgoing like my mom was. After that first retreat, I knew I wanted to eventually become a director. Throughout high school I have been a three time participant, two time leader, and one time director of Operation Snowball. I have found my voice, learned to love myself, and realized a simple act of kindness can make a difference in someone's world. When I graduate from high school, I want to attend a four year college and major in elementary education. My passion for working with kids began through various community service opportunities, including being a Safety Town captain and a volunteer ice hockey coach. My passion was further strengthened by my employment positions including being a summer camp counselor, and an official ice hockey coach. While in high school, I've been a student of the year in my Child Development class and I've gotten the opportunity to enroll in an Intro to Teaching course. During my Intro to Teaching class I have the opportunity to intern in a local elementary school, during part of my school day. I am able to help the children one on one, teach a full class lesson, and grade their work. I not only get to experience what teaching is like, but I also get to see what goes on "backstage" in an elementary school classroom. My time in this classroom, and in the preschool during Child Development, have confirmed that this is the correct career path for me. Which leads to why this scholarship can make a huge difference in my life. Student teachers are not paid, and spend most of their time in the classroom. This can cause a great deal of financial strain due to their lack of free time, to try and find a job as well. I love being a student intern right now, but imagining when I am an unpaid student teacher in the future worries me. I live in a single parent household, and my dad has himself and my sister to care for. I not only want this scholarship to help me in the future, I want this scholarship to help him as well. He does an incredible amount for my sister and I, and so I want to do something for him now. I would love to honor Kalia's memory through my future ambitions, thank you for considering my application.

When I was twelve years old, I lost my mom to her third battle of cancer. When I first got the news that she had Stage 4 Stomach Cancer, I wasn’t as worried as I should’ve been. She had beaten cancer twice before, so I thought she would be just fine. Over the course of her last 9 months, I began to realize that it might not work out in her favor this time. I watched her lose her hair, her color, and watched her become frail. Hospitals, throw up buckets, and sleeping in hospital lobbies became a normal occurrence. My mom went through an incredible amount of challenges but she never lost her caring nature or her love for her family. I was so proud of her for fighting so hard, proud of her for managing to keep a smile for us everyday, and proud of her for keeping her caring personality through everything she was going through. Towards the end of her battle, I watched people come to the hospice to visit with her for the last time before she was isolated to only seeing family. I was amazed to see how many people she had impacted in her life. I watched tons and tons of people come visit her and sit with her for hours on the porch outside of her room. I realized how incredibly lucky I was to have her as a mother, and how I didn’t know what I was going to do without her. A few nights later, I was asleep on the lobby couch with my sister when my dad woke me up around 2:45am. He took me to her room and told me it was time to say goodbye for the last time. I watched as my family all said goodbye, and finally said my goodbyes. I didn’t want to leave that room ever, because once I left that room, she was gone forever. After she passed away, nothing felt real. My dog would still look for her in her room, and my lawn was adorned with red hearts from the neighborhood. My mom was an amazing person and touched the lives of so many. She was described as sunshine by her friends, and she lit up any room she walked into. My mom was the type of person I aspire to be, somebody who people can count on and someone who makes others feel good about themselves. My mom never had a funeral, she had a memorial, but not a traditional one. She didn’t want people to mourn her, she wanted people to celebrate her life. And so everyone she knew attended and there was music, food, and even a self- serve candy bar. And so I don’t mourn the loss of my mom, rather I celebrate her and the time I had with her. I am incredibly lucky to have been able to call her my mom, she is who I aspire to be some day.

After high school, I plan on attending a four year college and majoring in Elementary Education. My passion for working with children began through various community service opportunities, including Safety Town and being a volunteer ice hockey coach. I volunteered at Safety Town for three summers, two of those I was a captain. I got to help teach children about safety in areas including fire, water, bikes, and roads. When I got to middle school, I was asked to help out on the ice at my local hockey club. I ended up absolutely loving it and got offered a job there junior year. I always look forward to seeing the kids, and their happy faces. In addition to coaching, I enrolled in a Child Development course at my high school. I loved that class and would always go above and beyond my teacher's expectations. All of my hard work paid off, and I was awarded Student of the Year. Over the following summer, I was offered a job as a summer camp counselor. I had to learn to work with coworkers and care for kids in various situations. Never once did I lose my passion, which led me to being accepted into the Intro to Teaching program. This program allows me to intern in a local elementary school during part of my school day. I am able to help children one on one, teach the class lessons, and grade their work. I not only get to experience what teaching is like, but I get to see what goes on "backstage" in an elementary school classroom. My time in the classroom has helped confirm my career path choice. I am also involved in an organization through my school called Operation Snowball. Operation Snowball is an overnight retreat that focuses on team building, self-empowerment, self-discovery, leadership skills, and promotes an ATOD free lifestyle. I have been a three time participant, two time leader, and one time director of this retreat. I first attended this retreat to honor my late mother, who passed away from cancer when I was twelve. My mom was a very outgoing person who touched the lives of many. I decided signing up for this retreat would be a good way to put myself out there. After that first retreat, I knew I wanted to be a director one day. I wanted to be a person who empowered others and made sure people knew they weren't alone. And that's exactly what I did. During that last retreat, I had many people come up to me and thank me for making them feel included. One of the people who thanked me was a girl who had special needs. I had noticed her dancing alone, and went over to join her. Her face lit up with joy, a face I will never forget. Later on during the dance, I had gone over to dance with a teacher who was also dancing alone. I hadn't thought much of it, I was just trying to be a good person. The following day, she came up to me and thanked me for making her feel included. I realized that even a simple act of kindness can make a difference in someone's world. I intend to carry that kindness forward with me during my future plans, and receiving this scholarship will help me to achieve my goal of becoming a teacher someday. Student teachers are not paid, and spend most of their time in the classroom, which can cause many financial struggles due to their lack of free time to find a job.