Sometimes when I look at my mom, I get sad. Sometimes it even happens when I just think about her. It doesn’t take much; I’ll just be sitting in my room or reading an article or writing, and my chest will get tight when her face pops into my head. At first, I began to push this feeling away; I didn’t like associating her with melancholy or sorrow. It didn’t seem right… or fair, maybe. But what that meant was, rather than confronting what these thoughts could mean for me and how I viewed her, I started to shut her out. I stopped returning her calls, her text messages. I told her it was because I was too busy with school, but really it was because I was too scared to face her. I think a part of me was worried that I was the one causing her sadness, so I decided that I should take a step back so she would get better while I was away at school. Unfortunately, what I didn’t realize until I was months into this plan was that now 'I' was sad because I pushed away the person I loved most in this world.
After my first year of college, I thought it was best to examine why I began to associate my mother with sadness in the first place. “Where did it all begin? What caused that shift in my perception of her?” And the more I thought about it, the more I began to realize that a lot of these feelings and associations would come up every time I thought about the financial toll I was taking out on her. She’s paying for my education, my clothes, my food, my school supplies, my medical bills, everything – that all falls on her! And it’s not only me she has to worry about and take care of – there’s also the matter of my younger brother and my older sister (who’s also in college, I might add). So, in my mind, I only contribute to the tremendous amount of stress she’s already under without my being here.
But I think at the heart of this sadness that I paint her with lies a much more honest truth: I get sad when I think about her because I can see how hard she works to make sure my siblings and I get the absolute best out of this world – that everything is taken care of and we never have to worry about working two jobs while we complete our studies or having to drop out of school because we can’t afford the tuition costs. She just wants to take care of us, and it devastates me that all that responsibility falls on her shoulders alone.
Her strength has – and continues to – inspire me in all my career endeavors. I am pursuing a degree in Theatre because it’s all I’ve ever dreamed about. And rather than ignoring that dream, my mother nurtured it. She encouraged me to audition even when it scared the hell out of me; she pushed me to keep writing even when it felt like I was getting nowhere with it. Because she saw that these outlets made me happy, and she made sure that I stuck with them. So, with my future career as an actor and a writer, my biggest goal is just repaying her in whatever way I can. And if that means I use those talents to secretly apply to scholarships every chance that I get, then I will happily do so.