There has been lots of hard times in my life. In fact I have probably made my life a thousand times harder than necessary! But through everything I have always remained optimistic, even if I literally had to grasp at straws! If I had to pick one time out of all the hard times it would most likely have to be when I was going through active addiction. Before I had gone into recovery I had been in a really bad abusive relationship, I had been beaten, every move I made was controlled right down to when I was allowed to use the bathroom, I had my life threatened, my child's life threatened, held hostage, choked, and so much more. But through it all I just had to grasp at those straws to remain optimistic. I refused to be beaten down and I did not want to become bitter either. So I had to hold onto the hope that things would either get better or thatI would just make it out of there with my life. Another reason I had to remain optimistic was because I had a little girl waiting on me to straighten my life up and come be a mommy to her. I couldn't give up or let him take my life for her. That was most definitely the hardest time of my life. But I trained optimistic and held out home and kept a smile on my face and never let the negativity get to me. I couldn't because of I would have let it get ahold of me. It would have held on and never let me go. And I'm quite confident that I would not have made it out alive, I never would have left, and my little girl would not have a mommy!