Entering my second year of college, assignments were piling up, responsibilities were looming, and I had a feeling of dread each day. I began experiencing episodes of shallow breathing that progressively worsened over a short period of time, then disappeared. After speaking with my doctor, at the age of 19, I was diagnosed with panic disorder. So, I started therapy and we determined that I needed regular counseling, stress management skills, and a source of constant support. I decided an ESA was the best option, did some research and adopted my cousins cat Charlie. He didn’t stay for long because he had a bad habit of chewing my yarn, scratching my face, and nipping. After charlie, some months passed and I decided it was time to search for a new furry friend. That’s when I rescued Pablo, a 4 year old chihuahua mix from Bedford county animal shelter. He’s tiny, smart, lazy and ironically, anxious. So, this poem is dedicated to the mental health journey that led me to him. I was a girl Who struggled to breathe Some breaths I couldn’t take A pounding heart A scattered brain Anxiety made me shake. I tried to knit, I tried to pray, But the woe was here to stay. So I searched for a friend, A furry friend, Who’d snuggle my worries away. So I got a cat, An orange cat, With a tail that swished all day. But that cat had quirks, It chewed my yarn, And ruined my crochet. I gave him toys, I bought a tree, But instead he’d chew on me. So off he went, To a better home, With a man who lives yarn free. So I got a dog, A little tan dog, Who was just as nervous as me. He barked at the wind, He barked at the air, And once at a pole by the street. An anxious owner, An anxious pet, We’re a chaotic pair, it’s true. But at least now I love my mutt, Who’d rather snooze than chew.

Johnny is my grandmother who baked cakes, served seared hot dogs smothered in chili, and obsessively watched WWE. Every Thursday night when my siblings and I spent summers with her, we'd huddle together on the floor beneath her feet, slurping a cup of ramen noodles and waiting for HIS entrance. "The Time is Now" would begin to play, we'd jump up shouting "John Cena" and my grandmother would smile ear to ear, her favorite wrestler was about to steal the show. Thursday nights we watched the professionals throw each other around, telling crazy stories to excite the crowd, but every other moment of her life, my grandmother was wrestling with her thoughts. As much as she was the pastry chef making cookies or the WWE fan cheering, she was also the woman who would cook meals and put the pots of food under the cabinets. The woman who walked in the rain to pick her kids up in the middle of school, standing soaking wet in the entryway, rambling. And she is the woman who'd talk to her cousins behind closed doors and when opened she was the only one in the room. Since childhood, my grandmother has claimed to see what's not there, spoken to those who are gone, and spent months at mental institutions because she is schizophrenic. For the entirety of my childhood, I'd known her medicated, when her mind was right, and her thoughts clear. As I aged from a child to a teen, to a young adult I watched my grandmother's schizophrenia consume her. Slowly, she stopped baking, she stopped cheering, and she stopped moving. Day in and day out she sits at home watching TV and rambling when spoken to. Now, when we visit, the only words she says that make sense are "Grandma loves you". My grandmother's battle with schizophrenia sparked a passion within me for understanding the human body and mind, how it functions, how it fails, and how to fix it. The first clue of this passion was in middle school when I made a painted, labeled model of the brain. Then, throughout high school, I dedicated my electives to science courses including advanced biology and chemistry. One project in particular, for my AP capstone class, I spent my junior year researching the effects of emotional and physical trauma on the brain, which was complete with a 25-page article and professional presentation. After graduating high school, I chose to major in biomedical engineering to begin a career in pharmaceutical engineering. The career path I'm choosing is controversial, there are stigmas surrounding pharmaceutical work and the corporations responsible for drug production. Knowing this, I have faced the moral dilemma of joining this industry. But as someone who saw firsthand the life that drugs provide for people suffering, one of those people being my beloved grandmother, I've come to understand that drug manufacturing is a double-edged sword. It is true that often people are over-medicated, that drugs can be addictive, and there are greedy companies that capitalize off of illness. But it is also true that drugs reduce panic attacks for those with anxiety, stop hallucinations for schizophrenics, and help insomniacs sleep. I am not pursuing this career to over-medicate or capitalize off of people's illnesses. I am becoming a biomedical engineer to provide the chronically ill and their families with medication to minimize their suffering so that when they wrestle their minds and bodies, they can steal the show and create happy, cherished memories with the people they love.

Having grown up in the suburbs. Any time I’d open my fridge there was something to eat, whether that was leftovers from dinner or meat, bread, and veggies for a sandwich. I never had to wonder where my next meal would come from, how we’d afford it, or if I’d have to split with my siblings. Food was never a concern and I couldn’t fathom a life where it was. That was, until high school. My senior year, I was in AP capstone, a course where students do college level research for a formal presentation and 25+ page essay. My topic of choice was food insecurity and its effect on the educational success of K-12 students. I studied extensively about food deserts, placement of grocery stores, access to nutritious meals, and the effect of missing meals on the brain. In addition to my textbook research, I did field work, surveying students about their level of focus and comprehension at various degrees of hunger, ranging from empty stomachs to full. After completing my research, and compiling the survey results, I determined that children without access to nutritional meals are at an academic disadvantage when compared to their peers. The academic gap grows when additional factors such as environment, household income, and ethnicity are included. From that day forward I have dedicated my studies to ensuring that American children have access to affordable, nutritious options. So, in college I’m majoring in biomedical engineering and plan to obtain a masters in a food science to work in the food engineering industry after graduation. My long term goal is to build credibility and experience in my field and eventually work for the FDA or USDA studying crop yield, chemical structures of plants, and altering crop genes to increase nutrients and diminish crop illnesses. Any and all research conducted and data compiled throughout my career would be shared with the public, to inform them of healthy food options that are within their budget. As a government employee, I’d use the information to pitch ideas and advocate for new governmental standards that increase accessibility to healthy diets and decrease the amount of food deserts. Although my goals are well intentioned, I recognize that eating healthy takes more than simply providing food. A healthy mindset towards food is required. So, in addition to my work in industry, I’d also present to students across America to students from a wide variety of backgrounds the importance of healthy meals, delicious substitutes to their favorite unhealthy snacks, and how to save money when grocery shopping. My research in high school and continued education in science and engineering has led to a better understanding of what life is like when food is not a guarantee. The effect hunger has on the mind, the body, and how they function. My service to the community is dedication to 6+ years of formal education to later share my knowledge with American citizens so that no child has to wonder if they will eat today.

In October or 2023, I began working as an undergraduate researcher for Cook Children’s Hospital in Fort Worth. I joined the hospitals neuroscience research team and currently work alongside a graduate researcher, together we use codes and manually check for high frequency oscillations in MRIs and EEGs of patients with epilepsy. The purpose of our research is to locate the epileptogenic zones, the part of the brain responsible for seizures. After we locate the zones, the data is sent to Cook Children’s neurologist to remove that portion of the brain. When done successfully, the patient no longer experiences seizures for years and during that time, is able to live a full life. I shared my experience as a researcher because it is a glimpse of my goals after I graduate. I finish school in 2027, after which I plan to apply for my universities masters program to study either genetics, computational biology, or health informatics. While working on my masters, I plan to use my bachelors degree and work as an entry level biomedical technician for a hospital in Houston or Dallas. After obtaining my masters and having worked in industry for 3-4 years I will either use my degree to advance in my current position, or pursue higher level positions with other hospitals or biomedical companies. Once I’ve established credibility in my field, my final goal is to work for a government administration, either the FDA, CDC, or USDA. My dream career is a food engineer for the FDA where I’d be responsible for reviewing sensitive scientific and technical data and presenting information to scientific review panels. As an undergraduate student in my second year of college, my goals lack detail and clarity. I’m still deciding the specifics of my career and acknowledge that I may not have all of the answers until I graduate. But I can say with confidence that my dedication to my studies and work as a researcher are one step towards my future career that I’ve already taken. As for completion of these goals, I plan to maintain a 3.4 or higher GPA to ensure I am a good candidate for the masters program. I’ll do so by studying smart, managing my time, and saying “yes” to every tutoring session offered. To exalt my resume, I am gaining hands-on experience in my field by working as a researcher on the neuroscience team. I plan to remain on the team until I graduate in 2027, 4 years from when I began in 2023. By working in the lab for most of my undergraduate I will gain extensive experience with programming, handling sensitive data, deciphering and managing complex data, and solving technical problems. To ensure my experience is not too niche, I will apply for summer programs in various other biomedical engineering specialties such as health informatics, computational biology, and medical devices. The work I’m doing now, paired with my future goals, are to establish myself as a well rounded student who will in turn become a well rounded engineer. One that can handle demanding work loads, complete projects on time, and provide the public with accurate and reliable health information.

The biggest problem facing the world right now is ignorance facilitated by technology and is responsible for all other problems plaguing our societies including political polarization, and declining literacy rates and work ethic. We simply do not know enough and in more recent years have become deterred from learning. However, we must acknowledge that it is astounding how far we have come technologically before we address it’s harmfulness. Because of advancements, we can now perform medical procedures with precise machinery that are void of human error, track and manage our finances with the help of digital accountants, and even work online from our homes. In these ways and others, technology has undoubtedly made our lives better, but the negatives significantly out weigh the positives. In simple terms, people have become lax in their work because machinery has become a guaranteed source of accurate and efficient labor, we no longer desire to seek an education beyond high school because “get rich quick” schemes have taken on the form of tech entrepreneur, children no longer read visually due to automated voices that read aloud, and peoples political views are now nonsensical opinions found on Google. Our only hope for re-educating the world to combat this ignorance is by proving the importance of knowledge. We need to host seminars from professionals in career fields that are successful and happy, attended college, and represent all backgrounds and socioeconomic statuses. In order for people to see that there is more that they can do, regardless of where they come from and without machines, is to hear the stories of those who came from the same places and have worked, by hand, to be successful despite their beginnings. This is the only way the world can learn again, being taught by those who never stopped.

Black Americans are one of the most underrepresented and unheard groups in America. Our voices are silenced by stereotypes and stigmas regarding sex, physical features, personality, and unrealistic strength, forcing us to create spaces that are hidden from the peering eyes of those outside of our group in order to discuss safely. Even social justice movements such as #MeToo, made to uplift the voices of sexual assault and rape victims of all colors across America, began to underrepresent black women with the belief that sexual crimes against white women are inherently worse, belittling the experiences of women of color. Along with other downfalls such as the exclusion of men and failing to acknowledge LGBTQ+ victims. Many movements such as this one, ignore marginalized groups, leaving them behind as the stories of others are placed in the front of the line and labeled “empowering, revolutionary, and life changing”. These movements are not made for us, or originally were, but are dismantled based on the belief that they’re promoting black supremacy or being exclusive, so we created our own. Starting as far back as the Harlem Renaissance in the 1920’s to the Civil Rights movement in the 50’s and 60’s and in modern day, the Black Lives Matter movement that all stretched across large cities in America, seeping into the suburbs and rural areas, black voices regardless of gender have been given a platform. Social movements such as these, ones that stand against oppression, political injustice, use of unnecessary force, and inclusivity have guided Black Americans in the fight for true equality. The Harlem renaissance paved the way for black musicians, artist, and culture to thrive within the inner city where we stepped foot into the male/white dominated world of the arts. Popularizing the names of Aaron Douglas, Louis Mailo, and Jacob Lawerence, whilst challenging sexual stigmas such as domesticity and the masculinity of black women with the birth of flappers such as Josephine Baker who altered the definition of a women and broke the shackles placed on their bodies that enforced modesty. The civil rights movement prompted the signing and enforcement of the Civil Rights act of 1964 that ended segregation in public places and banned employment discrimination, the Voting Rights act of 1964 that prohibits discrimination on the basis of self-identifying features including race, sex, and religion, and the ruling in Brown v. The board of education that overturned the rulings of Plessy v. Ferguson and permitting black boys and girls and white boys and girls to attend the same institutions. Together, these three movements, alongside others not mentioned, dismantled the established and practiced segregation that depicted and treated black people as inferiors, paving our way into positions of power, alongside our fellow Americans who closed and locked the doors. Finally, the Black Lives Matter movement, despite opposition, united the black community under one cause, calling out discrimination, racism, and inequality against Black Americans. The movement brought us out in droves into the city to March and protest against the injustices seen in the murder of Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and all other black names on the long list of victims. There is still a long way to go before Black Americans enjoy the fruits of our labor, until our protest lead to permanent changes in the world around us, ones that ensure protection and equality in all spaces. But until then, it is important to acknowledge how far we have come from enslavement to equal opportunity to work and learn, and rejoice in honor of our successful movements that have shaped our community and all within.