Being a parent means being last for all things, last to sleep, last to eat, last to get sick. However I chose to not put myself last for my education, I have worked as a certified pharmacy technician since seventeen. I moved out and graduated high school at seventeen a semester early, I began excelling in pharmacy and loved it but realized I had always wanted to be a nurse in my community specifically mental health. My daughter inspires me everyday to be a self sufficient woman, to continue to advocate for the world of mental health because one day it will be her world that she will have to live and witness. Despite being a mother I grew up a child of substance abuse, domestic violence, divorce, food stamps. Eventually I moved in with my grandmother at 15 which changed the trajectory of my life, had it not been for a loving and caring mother figure in my life I would not be who I am today, I often reflect on that and how my impact on my daughter will leave a lasting effect. Learning how to be more than what I grew up in has been a challenge, a mother with an 8th grade education, substance abuse issues, normalizing domestic violence- with my daughter I have never wanted her exposed to those horrors, however I often catch myself feeling as if I am an imposter in my own life and pursuit of higher education. Being the only one in my family to pursue higher education leaves me with questions unanswered, a lack of support, confusion when I express my frustrations with juggling nursing school, working full time, being mama full time while managing the household. The guilt of not being able to spend as much time as I would like with my daughter due to the workload of all these aspects of life often make me question if it’s worth it, but whenever my daughter shows interest in dance or horses I know once I am done with my education I can give her the life I never dreamt of having. She deserves the world, I would run myself ragged and run on two hours of sleep for the rest of my life becoming the most educated woman in my family to be able to give her the world she deserves while also making sure the world she’s going into has a person who advocates for their mental health such as myself once I am done with my education.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone facilities. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict, the daughter of a 8th grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen, food banks to eat. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same woman who got employed at 15, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at 17 with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. The same woman who writes this is the little girl who never thought she would be more than what her environment was. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. Hello, my name is Maci and I’m an addict: not in drugs, alcohol, food or porn but an addict to trying to fix. I am an addict of being the family’s first call for all incidents, I am the addict of calling rehabs and clinics trying to obtain a bed for my parent. Nevertheless, I am an addict to advocating and supporting those in addiction. I don’t wish to have statues or monuments in my honor for what I do for patients, I only want my small efforts to have big outcomes for those suffering with addiction.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone facilities. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict, the daughter of a 8th grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen, food banks to eat. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same woman who got employed at 15, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at 17 with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. The same woman who writes this is the little girl who never thought she would be more than what her environment was. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. Hello, my name is Maci and I’m an addict: not in drugs, alcohol, food or porn but an addict to trying to fix. Nevertheless, I am an addict to advocating and supporting those in addiction and mental heath crisis. My inspiration to become a nurse that offers grace and compassion is myself, a child forced to grow up to quickly but has taken the life I once found as a burden to better help others.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone Health facilities, along with a full time college student. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict and an eighth grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen: using food banks to eat due to the food being sold in the house. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same person who has been employed since fifteen, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at seventeen with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. I believe I was given this life and experiences so that the grace and compassion that will exhume from me as a nurse in the mental heath field will be that of change. Though it may be a ripple in the ocean for the world, it would be a wave for the patient. I do not wish to have plaques or acknowledgments for the care I wish to give to those suffering with substance abuse and mental health crisis. I want to be the voice of an advocate for those who are suffering, the voice for the families and loved ones who are also addicts; addicted to wanting to save them so badly from themselves. I want to show the rural community I live in and beyond that substance abuse and mental heath patients are not to be stigmatized or shamed but to be advocated for with grace and strength.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone Health facilities, along with a full time college student. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict and an eighth grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen: using food banks to eat due to the food being sold in the house. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same person who has been employed since fifteen, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at seventeen with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. I believe I was given this life and experiences so that the grace and compassion that will exhume from me as a nurse in the mental heath field will be that of change. Though it may be a ripple in the ocean for the world, it would be a wave for the patient. I do not wish to have plaques or acknowledgments for the care I wish to give to those suffering with substance abuse and mental health crisis. I want to be the voice of an advocate for those who are suffering, the voice for the families and loved ones who are also addicts; addicted to wanting to save them so badly from themselves. I want to show the rural community I live in and beyond that substance abuse and mental heath patients are not to be stigmatized or shamed but to be advocated for with grace and strength.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone Health facilities, along with a full time college student. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict and an eighth grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen: using food banks to eat due to the food being sold in the house. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same person who has been employed since fifteen, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at seventeen with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. I believe I was given this life and experiences so that the grace and compassion that will exhume from me as a nurse in the mental heath field will be that of change. Though it may be a ripple in the ocean for the world, it would be a wave for the patient. I do not wish to have plaques or acknowledgments for the care I wish to give to those suffering with substance abuse and mental health crisis. I want to be the voice of an advocate for those who are suffering, the voice for the families and loved ones who are also addicts; addicted to wanting to save them so badly from themselves. I want to show the rural community I live in and beyond that substance abuse and mental heath patients are not to be stigmatized or shamed but to be advocated for with grace and strength.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone Health facilities, along with a full time college student. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict and an eighth grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen: using food banks to eat due to the food being sold in the house. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same person who has been employed since fifteen, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at seventeen with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. I believe I was given this life and experiences so that the grace and compassion that will exhume from me as a nurse in the mental heath field will be that of change. Though it may be a ripple in the ocean for the world, it would be a wave for the patient. I do not wish to have plaques or acknowledgments for the care I wish to give to those suffering with substance abuse and mental health crisis. I want to be the voice of an advocate for those who are suffering, the voice for the families and loved ones who are also addicts; addicted to wanting to save them so badly from themselves. I want to show the rural community I live in and beyond that substance abuse and mental heath patients are not to be stigmatized or shamed but to be advocated for with grace and strength.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone Health facilities, along with a full time college student. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict and an eighth grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen: using food banks to eat due to the food being sold in the house. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same person who has been employed since fifteen, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at seventeen with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. I believe I was given this life and experiences so that the grace and compassion that will exhume from me as a nurse in the mental heath field will be that of change. Though it may be a ripple in the ocean for the world, it would be a wave for the patient. I do not wish to have plaques or acknowledgments for the care I wish to give to those suffering with substance abuse and mental health crisis. I want to be the voice of an advocate for those who are suffering, the voice for the families and loved ones who are also addicts; addicted to wanting to save them so badly from themselves. I want to show the rural community I live in and beyond that substance abuse and mental heath patients are not to be stigmatized or shamed but to be advocated for with grace and strength.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone Health facilities. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict and eighth grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen, having to use food banks to eat. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same woman who has been employed since 15, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at 17 with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife. I always wanted to fulfill my dream of being a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse, I decided that nothing has stopped me thus far and I deserve to be the advocate that makes a real change in someone’s life. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want, they do not have to repeat the pattern. Nevertheless, having parents, uncles, grandparents in active addiction, some of which have since passed due to their illness. This part of me that had to experience the harsh life as a child made me into who I am today; a voice for advocating and supporting those in addiction and mental heath crisis. My inspiration to become a nurse that offers grace and compassion to all is seven year old to eighteen year old me.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone facilities. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict, the daughter of a 8th grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen, food banks to eat. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same woman who got employed at 15, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at 17 with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. The same woman who writes this is the little girl who never thought she would be more than what her environment was. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. Hello, my name is Maci and I’m an addict: not in drugs, alcohol, food or porn but an addict to trying to fix. Nevertheless, I am an addict to advocating and supporting those in addiction and mental heath crisis. My inspiration to become a nurse that offers grace and compassion to all is seven year old to eighteen year old me.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone facilities. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict, the daughter of a 8th grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen, food banks to eat. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same woman who got employed at 15, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at 17 with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. The same woman who writes this is the little girl who never thought she would be more than what her environment was. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. Hello, my name is Maci and I’m an addict: not in drugs, alcohol, food or porn but an addict to trying to fix. I am an addict of being the family’s first call for all incidents, I am the addict of calling rehabs and clinics trying to obtain a bed for my parent. Nevertheless, I am an addict to advocating and supporting those in addiction. I hope my contribution to nursing can be remembered as offering grace to all despite the stigmatization of mental health and substance abuse problems being highly ostracized in the public opinion. I don’t wish to have statues or monuments named after me for my contribution, I hope you change the lives of those suffering with mental health and substance abuse along with their loved ones that become collateral damage, stopping the generational trauma that addiction and mental heath crisis can leave behind. I have lost two uncles and a step mother to addiction, along with many of my family still suffering due to the lack of mental health resources in our rural community. My father has been a lifelong addict, suffering from depression. My mother tried to commit suicide in 2009, I was 9. I remember walking in and finding her unable to get her to wake up, luckily my mother survived and is still with us today. I went through a lot as a child more than any child should, when I lost my uncle in 2015 (my fathers brother) I began to question God, I had a deep sense of how can you allow all of this mental torment to your children God? I struggled immensely with my anger. It wasn’t until 2016 I was saved in my grandmothers friends home when I felt the undeniable spirit of God lift me up and show me the indescribable love he has for us all. When my daughter was born I struggled with anger and guilt again seeing how much I loved my own child and seeing the wreckage left behind from my parents and family from their life long mental health/substance abuse battle, feeling as if I had been left to fend for myself and siblings as a child. I began praying more frequently, passionately and decided that God was in control of all and I had to let go and let God in order to be a healthy and happy mother to my child. I was no longer bound by the chains and resentment and questioning. I believe that God allowed me to experience the things I did as a child and today as an adult child to parents and family members suffering so that I can spread his love and word with real life knowledge of how the wreckage of mental health crisis affects all of those involved, especially the one suffering from it. I began my college journey to become a counselor but later decided that mental health nurse practitioner would better suit my long term goals of becoming active in legislation advocating for those suffering. My hope is to one day end the stigmatization and stereotyping that individuals with mental health diagnosis face every day. However; I believe real change of the face of mental health can only come from honest and open communication. My wish is to speak with young adults in high school to advocate for those suffering in silence weather that be from their own mental health or that of a guardian. I had received that type of conversation in high school from my counselor who helped guide me, prayed for me and my family and shaped my realization that I did not have to be angry at the world or God but that I needed to lead in grace and hope.

I am a 25 year old woman, married with a 2.5 year old daughter. I am a full time certified pharmacy technician with Cone facilities. I have been a pharmacy technician since I was 17, my first job at 15 as a hostess of a local Mexican restaurant. However, despite how inspiring that may sound I am also the daughter of an addict, the daughter of a 8th grade drop out. I am a woman who has attended N.A. meetings and visited more jails and rehabs than most adults ever would. I am a woman who has administered Narcan and CPR to a parent. I am a woman who had to take backpacks of food home for the weekend starting in elementary school. I am the woman who was once a girl following my parent around town trying to locate them when they were on a bender, trying to fix the collateral damage they left along the way- my grandmother having her purse stolen, food banks to eat. A woman who had to have her SRO officer in high school help her commit her parent when their addiction became a danger to themselves. The same woman who has stood in between two adults to stop a fight, who would call the police on her parent knowing they would go to jail due to the arguing. However, this is the same woman who got employed at 15, bought her first car, paid her way through high school, moved out at 17 with a semester left for high school while working full time. The same woman who graduated a semester early, began a career, got married, had a daughter who will never know the struggles that her mother has; the same woman who knew that she wanted to further her education despite already being a mother and wife, realizing I want to further my education to fulfill my role as a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner for those struggling with substance abuse. The same woman who writes this is the little girl who never thought she would be more than what her environment was. I am here to show everyone who comes from a home that isn't what they want they do not have to repeat the pattern. Hello, my name is Maci and I’m an addict: not in drugs, alcohol, food or porn but an addict to trying to fix. I am an addict of being the family’s first call for all incidents, I am the addict of calling rehabs and clinics trying to obtain a bed for my parent. Nevertheless, I am an addict to advocating and supporting those in addiction. I hope my contribution to nursing can be remembered as offering grace to all despite the stigmatization of mental health and substance abuse problems being highly ostracized in the public opinion. I don’t wish to have statues or monuments named after me for my contribution, I hope you change the lives of those suffering with mental health and substance abuse along with their loved ones that become collateral damage, stopping the generational trauma that addiction and mental heath crisis can leave behind.