What makes members of the LGBTQ+ community so special are the character defining stories that everyone in the community has had in overcoming that inevitable hurdle of feeling like an outcast in our heteronormative society. Whether subtle or extreme, everyone has gone through or continues to go through those moments. My story is extreme, and I have a deep appreciation for the queer community because of how we look out for each other and provide a place of safety and acceptance for who we are. I was born into a doomsday cult that is one of America’s most oppressive groups toward gay and transgender people. When I wanted to come out as gay, I had to prepare my life in secret for years, knowing that when that day came, I would be completely on my own. I knew once I came out to my family and friends, they would all cut me out of their lives completely and would never speak to me again. Additionally, the cult is anti-education. Growing up, I was offered many opportunities at different schools because of my good grades when I was in High School, but I had to turn them all down because my parents refused to let me get a degree. After all, that was frowned upon in the religion. I was allowed to get an Associate's degree at a local community college, but nothing more. I'll never forget what my guidance counselor said to me when talking about my plans. "You're wasting yourself," she said, and it always stuck with me. I began to ask myself at that time what my potential is in this life. When I came out almost three years ago, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. To this day, I cannot believe I experienced such hate and rejection, as the reaction was so extreme and intense, it hardly seems real. I couldn't have done it without the new friends I made within the LGBTQ+ community. They took me in and showed me what true unconditional love is, and taught me how to love myself and become the most authentic version of myself. Nothing is more freeing than discovering yourself for the first time and liking what you see. After taking time to heal, I decided to pursue the education I was once denied. I want to achieve my true potential and make a difference in this world. Having always been a computer whiz, I’m pursuing a computer-science degree focused on cybersecurity. I chose cybersecurity because I can combine my skills and passion for computers in a way that helps others. Cybersecurity is dedicated to safeguarding people from threats they often don't see coming. I know firsthand how damaging ignorance, misinformation, and manipulation can be. My ultimate goal is to become a cybersecurity analyst specializing in protecting marginalized and vulnerable communities. I’d love to help individuals and organizations defend themselves against cyber threats, misinformation campaigns, and manipulation, which I've encountered in different contexts throughout my own life. I help other LGBTQ+ people who have faced similar traumatic experiences as mine, and help guide them through the healing process by sharing my own. With my degree, I am hoping to make a difference on an even larger scale. When I came out, I was cut off from everyone I knew. I have no family or financial support other than myself. Making ends meet in New York is especially difficult, and this scholarship would be a tremendous help to me to complete the education I was once denied and pursue the career I have always dreamed of.

Being gay and a witness is a rough combo. I was born into a very "spiritual" family and got baptized when I was 12. It wasn't long after that I started to come to terms with my sexuality. It affected my mental health. It didn't make sense how I was doing everything for Jehovah and had to deal with this when everyone else was "normal". I read every article under the sun but it didn’t help. If being gay was a bad habit, a kink, and a choice, why did it not go away when it was something I hated about myself so much? I thought being the best witness would "fix" me. When I was 17 I began pioneering and later became an MS at 18. For years, I shut my mind off to stay focused on the "truth". I couldn't handle the tears, suicidal thoughts, and sleepless nights I had during my teens. My family would always make fun of me for being emotionless but I had to avoid acknowledging that I was gay and alone. Instead, I did as much as I could in the congregation so I wouldn't have to think. When the pandemic hit and witness life paused, I had no choice but to face this elephant in the room, and how unhappy I was. I started talking to people online through dating apps. It didn't take long for me to realize that what the Watchtower says about being gay is not true. It is more than a sexual perversion, the romantic connections are the same as any straight relationship. There is nothing harmful about it. That was the first time I ever disagreed with the Watchtower. All it took was one unshakeable doubt that caused that "strong foundation" of faith to come crashing down. More and more I noticed doctrinal flaws. I was willing to give up so much of myself believing in their promises, but if they are wrong then what's the point? Growing up, I was always a good student but was only allowed to get an associate's degree at a community college. I dreamed of having a real college experience but never dared express that desire. I graduated summa cum laude with an associate's in Information Technology. I became a part-time web developer, but it made very little. I was 25 with no career, no money, and was living with my parents and I needed an exit plan. I used the time in the pandemic to focus on my coding so I could get a sustainable job. I eventually did, found an apartment, and moved out. That was a huge step in being able to untangle my life. While living on my own, I made my first "worldly" friend and started dating someone who would eventually become my boyfriend. Those two helped me see a life on the other side. They also made me realize just how empathetic and kind-hearted "worldly" people are. I learned that conduct does not equate to your qualities. A gay man with tattoos who curses, and watches violent movies can have more empathy, love, and compassion than any witness. You don't need a "Bible-trained conscience" to be a good person. One night, I was telling my friend about my situation as a witness. He told me that regardless of whether or not I chose to leave, he would always support me. That stunned me. What a contrast to how witnesses view relationships. It was the first time I felt unconditional love. I lived a double life for a short time, but once it was announced that door-to-door would resume, I knew that was my deadline. Never again would I knock on a door and try and sell this misery. My parents are too insane and controlling for me to be able to fade. I had to face them. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I was deeply afraid of my father. I never disobeyed him in my life and never spoke negatively about the religion. I had to tell the person I feared the most the worst thing he could hear. On Sept 6, 2022, I went to their house, told them I was gay, and that I was done with the "truth". It's too difficult for me to describe how that night went, or the weeks that followed, but it was done and I was free. I refused to talk to the elders, so the hall had a marking talk about me a month later. As hard as it was, I am so unbelievably proud of myself for having the confidence to face them and speak my "truth". There has been an immense amount of healing I have gone through. I used to think I was worthless, unloveable, and destined to be alone. I've now learned to value myself, love myself, and stand up for myself. I love the person that I've become. I wish my family would bump into me and see the person they were never allowed to see. The boy without emotions has a full heart. My bold departure had an impact on others too. A few months after leaving, my cousin left. Shortly thereafter, two of my close friends left. They told me it was my leaving that woke them up, which made everything I went through more than worth it. Between my amazing boyfriend, and my close friends old and new, I have my own little family. As time goes on, I can build my identity beyond this cult I happened to be born into. Some in my life have given me a pep talk about discovering my potential since I was always a good student and no longer needed to limit myself. I am now pursuing the Computer Science bachelor's degree my parents wouldn't let me have. This scholarship would be a huge help to me in paying my tuition so I can see what I can make of myself in this life.