Music has been a saving grace and guiding force for me since I was in elementary school. When I started learning to play the piano at age 7, my fascination with music and composition blossomed. I started writing my own music at age 10, and my subject material typically focused on the idea that I was different and felt separated from people my age. Throughout my life, this separation has become a common theme, as many members of the LGBTQIA+ community experience. As a queer person, my feeling of difference comes from the lack of understanding of others, yet a sureness in myself. Music has acted as a support system that helps me find the words to express my thoughts and feelings in a way I was previously unable to. Without music, I don’t know what other outlets I would explore to express how the world makes me feel. Music sits with me like a friend and goes wherever I go. It crosses all boundaries and has no limits. It makes me feel unstoppable.

I plan to pursue a career in the arts, specifically in music performance for voice and composition. As a song-writer and poet, I find that a large portion of my work is inspired by my experience as a queer individual. If I were to be awarded this scholarship, I would use it to help me pursue my dream of getting a doctorate degree and teaching music to other members of the LGBTQIA+ community as a form of healing and self growth. I have known that I was a member of the LGBTQ community for a long time. I was raised in a fairly conservative area and knew that I felt different and separated from my peers. I found solace in writing and performing music that told a story. By performing, both my own words and the words of others, I was able to find comfort in a sort of persona I could play. I could wear a mask and tell a tragedy about feeling alone and afraid, and after people felt moved by the lyrics and music I could remove the mask and resume my normal life of hiding and pretending. The music gave me an outlet to be my true self without others knowing that was who I really was. I want to pursue higher education both for my own benefit and the eventual benefit of others. I want to be able to teach someday, and use my experiences as a queer musician to emphasize that anyone can be whatever they want to be. We put limits on ourselves of who we are able to be based on those around us. I didn’t see many queer classical musicians as a child. Everyone wore a nice suit or a dress, followed gender stereotypes, didn’t go against the norm of appearance, and just went with the music that was given to them. I didn’t experience many queer artists, and so I was determined to be that role model I didn’t have for another, younger individual. The arts provide a safe space for all people, and queer people especially find community in an environment where creativity and vulnerability blossom. I hope that if I am to earn this scholarship I would be able to continue pursuing education and experiences that make me a prime example of a queer artist, and that someday I might inspire a young person to be fully themselves without having to wear a mask.

I plan to use travel to develop my artistry in two ways. I aspire to travel and explore different cultures and how they celebrate the arts, and I plan to see historical buildings where important music was made. In my pursuit of exploration of culture, I want to go to locations that I have little experience with. I grew up in a primarily Caucasian area of Northern Virginia, and my exposure to individuals of different ethnicities, backgrounds, religions and experiences was fairly limited. I sincerely hope that in my journey of transferring to a new, more diverse university, and studying abroad during my undergraduate degree, that I will have more experiences with individuals who are different from me. I believe that the human condition is unlimited, and that no two people’s experiences are identical. This being said, it would seem that it translates into our artistry, music and expression. When people compose, they are pulling from their experiences and the experiences of others for inspiration and creativity. Since people have different perspectives, it becomes interesting when two different composers set the same poetry to music and produce drastically different works. Their background and opportunities persuaded them to write their music the way that they did, and therefore holds a lot of power over what they create. By traveling to other countries, I hope to see how people use music in their day to day life in ways that I haven’t. I want to experience how music is used in rituals, festivals and religious gatherings. I hope to see how music is used in community, ceremonies and healing times. I want to experience the way that people learn music in other countries, and how it brings different people together. By witnessing other human’s identification of what music means to them, I am able to understand a different perception, and therefore widen my understanding of how those sounds can influence a person. In traveling and exploring, I also want to see where some of the greatest works we all know and love started. I want to see where the composers we all worship lived, breathed and wrote their works. I want to walk in the footsteps of the great minds who developed what we understand as our music now. These experiences would also give insight into how they developed and created the great works we respect and revere as industry standards. In the midst of the ongoing global health crisis, I understand that travel may not be accessible to me during my undergraduate studies. However, I believe that this can be balanced by my pursuit of a very diverse educational community to experience other people’s stories, backgrounds and insights to be able to be the best student, musician and person that I can be.

I am currently working on recording and producing another album of original music. I have an album out on most streaming platforms already, but I want to record new music that really highlights what I’ve learned as a musician and my progress as a recording artist and composer. I have been writing music for nearly ten years. I wrote music in middle school and high school as a form of healing self expression. Along with songs and poetry I also created art as a way to take what I struggled with and turn it into something beautiful that could be shared. As many artists know, great work often comes from greater struggle. I have written music for choir and band as well, and I find these incredibly fulfilling as the music is no longer presented by only myself. I create a shared experience by having people come together through music, and by writing music for multiple instruments, voice types or genres, I bring people who might not have previously worked together into a community. I write music as a way to explain how I’m feeling without having to say it in just English. I believe music can be used as a second language that everyone speaks, to express an idea, concept or feeling that crosses all barriers of speech and understanding. I write to connect to people and make people feel less alone in their experiences. I write to share my own experience and say how I’m feeling about certain topics and issues. As someone with auditory synesthesia, I connect sounds with colors, words and symbols to create the best art that I can think of. I work to make my music sound exactly how I picture it in my head, using the colors, words and smells I can pick up to influence my art and make people share that experience with me. In the future, I hope to be able to sign a recording deal with a professional studio to produce more original music. I currently record all of my music myself on my iPad with synthesized instruments and bedroom quality vocals. Although I’m proud of my production quality, I would love to work with other live instrumentalists or learn more instruments myself to be able to make more live sounds in my tracks. I want to learn more about production in a studio and mixing music from the individuals who record professionally. I want to create music that sounds completely unique while sounding familiar. I don’t follow many social patterns in my day to day life, and I tend to go against what is trendy, popular or acceptable to most. I strive every day to put my own mark on the world and be authentically myself to my fullest ability. I try to make music that I haven’t heard before. It is incredibly difficult to be original anymore, but that challenge inspires me even more. Composing is a very peaceful activity for me, and I hope to continue making music regardless of what musical career I end up in later in life.

I want to create a national recording studio program for aspiring music students. I want to create my own business that finds schools across the country in need of assistance with their music and arts programs, and design and build a creative space where artistic students can explore their creativity and make professional products that they can use towards applying for further education. I didn’t have a lot of access to spaces like this as I was applying to college, and I would have benefitted from an organization that values students who have music to share with the world but lack the resources to produce and spread it. I built a recording studio in my high school during my senior year for students to be able to make audio and video recordings for their school projects, college applications and their self-enjoyment. Through my creation, I want students to know that their art has purpose and value, and that there are people outside of their immediate community who want to hear what they have to share. I want arts students to feel represented and supported, and show them that academics, athletics and appearance are not the only things that matter. I believe my creation could inspire others to help arts students create professional products. There need to be more courses available for young students who want to go into music recording, production or directing. A lot of art schools expect students to have professional experience or high quality recordings to share during their application window. With a place like the studio I want to create, students would have the freedom to create anything they want and the tools and resources to put their creations out into the world. The arts community is frequently underfunded and underappreciated, but so many students would struggle with their mental health and well being if not for the arts. I believe my creation is vital for the world to see, because it will show how a student’s creativity can grow and blossom when given the right tools. It will also showcase how important the arts are to students, and how funding and representation in the arts are crucial for all schools.