My goal in education is to earn a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) certification, and eventually pursue my BCBA-D and become a doctorate student in Autism Spectrum Disorder and Behavior Theory with the intent of researching the relevance of intersectionality identity (as coined by Kimberlee Crenshaw in the 1980s and as understood through today's concepts of identity.) on access to services and diagnosis. There is a current movement to understand Autism as a biological and neurological condition that causes the individual to process differently than the social structure currently dictates due to misunderstanding social cues, etc. Because social structure ebbs with time, and norms are inherently exercised more strongly on those who are marginalized: women, BIPOC, disabled and chronically ill people (etc.), those who are Autistic and carry one of these additional identities are less likely to be diagnosed and/or access appropriate amounts of support. I experienced this. For 24 years, I was convinced that I was a specifically terrible person. I was called lazy, insensitive, a liar, attention-seeking, manipulative, and more. My inability to understand in social situations cause adults to be angry with me as a child. As I grew up, I could not quickly identify those people around me who were a threat to my safety because I would accept what they said at face value. I could not figure out how to communicate my perspective and spent most of my time feeling incredibly alone, as if I was watching everyone else in a fishbowl. I didn't know that I am Autistic, have ADHD and PTSD, and have numerous chronic illnesses that have high comorbidity with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Because I didn't know, I could not use behavior supports or tactics that my diagnosed peers had access to. I was punished for misunderstanding social cues because I was misperceived as a typically developed student. This communication issue translated to every part of my life: academics, my family, my relationships, and my jobs. I experienced unnecessary strife because my parents thought that "a mental health diagnosis didn't matter and I should be able to choose not to act the way I do on my own." I include this last quote because now as Registered Behavior Technician who works with kids like I was, I still hear it from parents. I am asked to fix kids and to make them fit into the narrative that everyone else wants and which is typically incompatible with their current ability level (as evidenced by the contention). I remember how disorienting, frightening, and hopeless that felt as a teenager, and so my "why" is getting to see teenagers fall in love with themselves a decade before I was able to. It's my job to make space for their whole selves. I let them scream it out and be as messy as they need to, because I want them to know that no matter what their worst reaction is, it does not define who they are, their potential, or how I see them. I get to watch them finally relax as they begin to trust me and share what has been leaving them feeling demotivated. With my BCBA certification, I will be able to change the contexts demotivating them through parent training and connecting with educational supports. I am driven to get back to school so I can give as much time to them as possible. If all they need is an adult saying it's okay to be yourself, then I will make that space as soon as I'm able. I'm grateful to be able to change things that I couldn't for myself.