Adversity is like a Skinwalker; it takes many forms: events, conditions, or people. Sometimes it comes from within; actually, most of the time it's self-inflicted. For me, my biggest adversity came from one person during one event, but it was that event which would end up reshaping my life for the rest of my years to come. It was my 8th grade year in the final regular season game of our middle school soccer team. I was the best player on our team, not fantastic, but definitely the best. We were going against our biggest rivals. We'd won one game the whole season, and it was against them. They'd won none. Up until this point in time, I faced adversity every day coming from myself. I struggled heavily with self-esteem and confidence issues (due to depression) and was no stranger to thinking myself lower than trash. I hated talking to people. I was polite, but still hated myself and stayed silent the whole time. So going into this game was no different. A few minutes into the game, I got a penalty kick. For those unfamiliar with soccer, it's essentially a golden opportunity to score with a free kick from just a few yards in front of the goal. The referee was getting everything ready when I heard one of their better players whisper, "You're an idiot, you suck so much," though he used many more expletives. I was understandably taken aback. At first, my mind agreed with him because I had often thought the same thing. For a moment, I felt tears welling up. But then the feeling was gone. Instead it was replaced with pitiful spite directed towards that guy. The referee blew the whistle, and I blasted the ball into the upper corner of the goal with all my strength. At that moment, I couldn't imagine how to describe the joy I felt as I heard the crowd cheer and my teammates surround me. But now I can say, it was pride. The first time in my life I ever felt pride for myself. To this day I don't know what made the self-hatred disappear, I'd need to ask a psychologist. But from that game onward, I began to take control of my life. That moment made me realize it was possible to believe in myself. It was that moment that let me believe I'm something more than garbage. I no longer stayed silent; I became social and made numerous friends. I became confident and ended up becoming a leader in all my extracurriculars. It got me on track to figuring out my passions in life such as music and science. All it takes is one moment, no matter how big or small it is, it takes just one moment to turn your life around. So my advice as someone who was contemplating suicide, just wait it out. Give life a chance. Even if you hate participating, participate anyway and hate it. You never know when something, or someone, you hate can end up fixing your entire life.

I endured my share of depression-induced suicidal thoughts and attempts, just like countless others around the world. Some were even almost successful. Yet, despite my efforts, something always prevented me from ending my life. Whether it was sharpened blades or poisoned fluids, numerous vivid visions of the future would invade my mind at the speed of light: My parents sobbing over my tombstone, or discovering my lifeless body and cackling at it. But the final vision remained consistent. Within an empty, dark void, stood myself. Myself as a toddler, as a kid, and as a teen gazing into a mirror. I was concerned about my willingness to try to end my life, but more so how this cryptic vision constantly prevented it. Initially I dismissed it as nothing more than tragic cowardice. But deep down, I knew this was not true and found myself growing mentally steadfast. The resilience that bloomed from the vision gradually dissipated my depression, but it never fully banished it. Then April 23rd, 2020, I finally grasped its meaning. Life, depression, mental problems–it’s all difficult.Taking your own life certainly seems like the only real escape, yet everyone claims it’s selfish. "Selfish of me? They’re unable to understand the painful extent of what I have to endure daily.” I said that before, and that probably echoes with countless others battling internal struggles. But alas, suicide... Is selfish. Even when you are enduring living Hell setting you ablaze, suicide remains selfish–not because "you pass your pain onto others". The true reason why suicide is so selfish is because you are stealing from yourself. Yes, selfishness against YOURSELF. You’re robbing your baby self, your kid self, your teen self, your current self, and your future self. The one thing on this planet that can never truly be replicated is your life. You can believe in multiple lives, or an afterlife, if that makes you feel better; but YOU only have one conscious life on this Earth. I only have one conscious life to be Lucas Blakeman. You, a celebrity, or a random person on the street, we all only have this singular life to be what we want to be. And the question I asked myself was, “Am I truly going to ravage the goals and life I had dreamt for as a child?” My now life-long resilience answered for me. I became an advocate for improving mental health assistance for everyone around me. I did my own psychology research and mastered my own methods of communication that allow me to converse empathetically and sympathetically and become a beacon of assistance for anyone; friend or stranger. Because of the aforementioned methods and research, a year or two later I successfully talked my best friend out of self-harm and proceeded to help gradually ease her out of her depression as well. Additionally I started an Instagram page where I encouraged people to come forth with their problems and also posted quotes, life lessons, and scripture from the Bible to try and assist anyone whether directly or indirectly. The page is no longer used, but it served its purpose and gave me the chance to connect with school society a little more. Some friends even spread it outside of school to family members which extended my influence from school-wide to town-wide. Furthermore, I’m initiating the process of creating a Youtube channel to maintain throughout the rest of my life to provide the same level of information and counseling but with a more entertainment based approach to hopefully spread to an international audience. Lastly, I want to be a unifier. Through healing and preserving the Earth via Geology, connecting to people from all walks of life and across the world, and preventing dreams, goals, and lives from ever being ravaged again.

It is undeniable; everyone loves seeing a genius work their magic. The irresistible, captivating way they conjure 20 page blueprints out of their mind, masterfully persuade others, and gain endless amounts of control over whatever they desire. And to go along with that, the naturally competitive nature of most watchers easily inspires us to think that we too could be, or even defeat someone like that. Now imagine your dismay when you realize what a true genius is. Where even in a school overflowing to the brim with intelligent and cunning students along with other geniuses, no one is able to gain victory over them. That is the essence you get to experience watching Classroom of the Elite. Calling it just an anime or a story cannot in any way do it justice; this is an absolute masterpiece of entertainment with the perfect mix of fright, shock and awe, psychology, and action. Classroom of the Elite follows the story of a high school teenager named Ayanokoji Kiyotaka. Ayanokoji is no mundane teenager however. Since birth he was raised in what is called "The White Room", an experimental area where children are tested rigorously to discover who the most intelligent ones are. He far exceeded the intellect beyond any average adult and even the "average" genius. But due to limited contact with the outside world, he developed 0 emotional capabilities of his own. When he got to the boarding high school he was attending, which was notorious for having exceedingly great students, he really had no clue what he was even doing there. Despite his genius, he chooses not to stand out. Only purposely scoring average on tests, hiding the fact he is incredibly athletic, and never takes credit for any of the genius plans he puts into place. But if anything, that is what adds to the shock factor. Watch a few episodes and you know who it is that makes the plans, who wins completely unwinnable situations, who manages to manipulate an entire school through just a few people--and yet it still comes as a shock every time because it is so eye-catchingly unnatural to see such talent and skill utilized so well by someone who hates being credited. The entire show follows the same characteristic where there is so many similarities within our world and COTE that you can connect with certain characters and understand situations because at the end of the day, these people are just kids and adults just like the ones in our would. But it is also different from our normal world in enough ways that it becomes an entertaining show without completely desensitizing viewers from an abundance of ridiculousness and comical occurrences. The final reason why this anime is so captivating is it has PLETHORAS of deep life lessons scattered throughout it such as recognizing what people to avoid or how to identify peoples' motives that could really end up helping in real life. Every episode's title is a different moral quote and it is not uncommon to be able to recognize a quote's lesson in multiple episodes before/after you see it. Classroom of the Elite is truly an underrated and under-loved anime, with it presenting an intricate web of intellect, strategy, and psychological depth along with masterfully toeing the line of creation to formulate a show that has the relatable aspects of our world with the entertainment aspects of insane, bizarre show. Each episode also imparts deep lessons, cementing COTE as a criminally underrated masterpiece of anime.

I despise being powerless, more than anything else on Earth. I face it with a burning resentment greater than the surface of the sun. I immediately get fired up when something happens and it's out of my control. Earthquake? I study up on seismologic science for a bit and try to think of better detection systems. Car crash? I figure out the specific reason and then try to mitigate the dangers of that cause. You can imagine my face, as an attitude riddled 14 year old, when my parents invited me to watch a movie about the world ending. I believe that was the only time I ever thought an expletive toward my parents as I read the movie's description. Now that I'm 17 I owe it to "2012", and my parents who made me watch it, for salvaging my crumbling life. The movie "2012" is about the entire Earth being flipped on its head. The most prominent characters are Helmsley and Curtis. Helmsley is the geologist that first discovered evidence that tectonic plate abnormalities were on course to wreak havoc on the world; resulting in him now being a crucial part in developing structures capable of surviving the modern day Ragnarok. Curtis is a father struggling to be so. He took his kids to Yellowstone where it's evident something is wrong after the military prevents them from inspecting an evaporated lake and then he meets a conspiracy theorist who informs him of what's happening and he starts trying to move his family across the world to a safe place. Both these people witnessed the deaths of billions right in front of them, but could do nothing. They were forced to move on as the ark they got on sailed the seeming never-ending ocean to find any few remaining land sources. It ended on a hopeful tone that humanity survives despite the the destruction of almost everything in life. I think the ending, in combination with the countless number of hopeless instances throughout, is what saved me. I've had breakdowns trying to negate problems from ever happening. In my life, that meant trying to solve every problem available. I was destroying myself and also damaging people around me. I would try and solve people's problems when all they wanted was a listener. I'd snap at my friends after being enraged and offended that I couldn't solve it, or that they didn't think I could. I believed failure to solve problems meant failure down the road. I believed being powerless doomed your life entirely and negated you any significance. That was all wrong. Helmsley was powerless against the force of Mother Nature and he couldn't stop the world from ending, but he still lives and so do many others due to his efforts. Curtis couldn't stop his family from being in danger, but he sure helped them get out of it time and time again. The reason it changed my life is it taught me a simple thing: I didn't have to solve every problem. Just the right ones. My life changed instantly. I stopped trying to solve every problem coming my way. Instead of people going away in annoyance after I try and instruct them, I listened to what they had to say and simply asked if they wanted further help. I no longer destroyed myself because I couldn't solve a problem in 10 hours that experts hadn't solved in 10 years. The movie "2012" was not only able to change my life but as a result led to me being able to improve everyone's lives around me as well.