“High school will go by slowly, I don’t need to think of a career yet! I have so much time!” “I want to do everything! How can I just choose one career path?” I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I am simply moving along with time, hoping nothing bad happenes to me along the way. I have a nice home, sweet hometown, amazing friends and family, can’t it just stay that way? The answer to that is hell no, as nice as that sounds, life does not work that way and it would continue to not work that way, I can’t rely on my family forever, I have to find something to do. “I am lost, I lost a whole year of my life because of that stupid virus plaguing our lives” Which is an excuse I used a lot, knowing damn well I could have gotten my shit together for that whole year in-doors. Whatever! It is now 2021, no more quarantine…Yay! Now my freshman year was completely experimental, everyone was trying to get by, we didn’t even finish middle school completely we were simply trying to survive in a new environment. We are all seaweed drifting across the coastal floor, whatever happens happens, we still have time to think about everything. Fast-forward to 2022, and I am now a sophomore, almost a junior, with no goals, nothing to look forward to, and nothing to work hard for. ‘“I really have to get my shit together” “Woah, a new series on Netflix came out? Extraordinary Attorney Woo?” “It’s about an attorney who has autism…well okay.” As of now, I am currently thriving to be a criminal defense attorney. I want to help people, defend them, gaining their trust and giving them the pleasure in trust back. For years I have struggled for what I wanted to do, but after I finished Extraordinary Woo I felt compelled, I finally found my calling. It felt right, everytime I said I wanted to do a certain profession I never felt certain about it. But this? No words can describe how perfect it was. Although it was in absurd way of finding out what I wanted to do with my life, it truly made my life colorful again. Before everything felt black and white, there was no color to my world, but after finding my means in life everything has become fun and vivid. I know that the process for it will not be easy, and I know there would be so many times where I would want to quit but I will push through it no matter what. Helping people is what I want to do, that is my source of motivation, some people may think the opposite but hey, this is me pursuing my passion.

“Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it's a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it's a way of making contact with someone else's imagination after a day that's all too real.” ― Nora Ephron BookTok has completely overtaken my “For You” page. Every other TikTok is a super, incredibly not-so-appropriate romance book. My bookshelf would be all romance because that is what my BookTok looks like. Heck, I would even go as far as to say I already have bought some, (when I say some I just mean one.) The one recommendation I would constantly get was the “Song of Achilles.” That book broke me, tore me to shreds, threw me down a pond, and recycled me (no pollution here) and I will never recover, thank you BookTok. Ranting aside, there are so many must-haves I must get. The biggest book recommendations that I have gotten from TikTok are “A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder,” “I Fell in Love with Hope,” “Icebreaker,” and “The Love Hypothesis.” Every second I get TikTok’s with quotes from the books and at this point, I don't want them, I NEED them (you see I would buy them but in today's economy I can't even buy a chocolate bar.) I especially need to get “I Fell in Love with Hope” because I love sad books and I keep hearing how some people break down thinking about the book. Tragic books have a certain factor in which you know there would be a bad/sad ending, nevertheless, you are in denial that it would end with a happily ever after. It truly humbles you when you know you can never get what you want. I could not say for sure how the titles of the books have impacted the #BookTok Community because everyone has different interests but if I can make a guess I would say that these books have impacted them to see romance or life in general in a different view. Most people want to meet the perfect person, just like in the books. Because of books, people have a different perspective on love and want it for themselves. Deep down, we all want something special with another person. Like the books that mention the red-string of fate, people want to believe in it because of how desperate they are to find someone who could love them and treat them with the love and respect that they long for. While some want to live and experience what is happening in the book, the thrill, and the excitement. I guess the saying the heart wants what it wants is true.

“Do I have any right after I killed so many people as a weapon? I must have prevented them from keeping promises of their own." -Violet Evergarden, 'Violet Evergarden'. Violet Evergarden has a special place in my heart. From the beautiful, fantastic, and extraordinary art and animation style, to its amazing storyline, Violet Evergarden will forever be an anime that I can watch over and over again, having the same feeling I felt the first time I watched it. I have never watched an anime like Violet Evergarden before. Yes, it has its sadness factor that will make you cry waterfalls and captivate you with how the story develops each episode. Progressively, Violet learns to feel emotion, which is something I have never seen in an anime. Violet was used, scrap-off, and thrown away, she was a “weapon.” This rugged, damaged weapon, became a beautiful, blossoming doll. She went from fighting a deadly war, worshiping her commander, and trying to understand what he meant when he told her the words “I love you” to becoming an Auto Memory Doll, learning from each experience she has witnessed, to gradually finding out what it truly meant to love someone. That development of her not knowing how to display her feelings, to breaking down in tears, something she's never done before, astonished me. The feelings she portrayed were real, and not fake, she was confused and out of place. At first, she was a weapon who did not know how to write with the emotions people were telling her to perform in their letters to learn how to write with emotion as a Memory Doll. People fell in love with how she wrote and asked for her services every time, giving those people core memories from her visit, never meeting anyone like her before. Violet changed people's lives, just with small but meaningful words. Episode 10 specifically, made people, not only me, view Violet Evergarden as an ocean of sadness. That episode has so much meaning, from a widow-dying mother to her little daughter. Spoilers ahead, Violet wrote letters to Ann (the daughter) from the mother, for the next 50 years, for Ann to read each year for her birthday, the special days that her mother was not able to witness. In that episode, Violet finally broke down, her emotions overtook her, the sadness she felt of Ann’s mother having to leave her precious daughter behind, being left all alone in that humongous mansion, Violet felt the pain and held in her emotions the whole time she was there. That episode was an eye-opener and officially made me declare how in love I am with the anime because of the message and story it portrays. The art matches Violet Evergarden 100% and truly, it is a life experience to watch, Violet Evergarden will always be an endlessly captivating anime for me, and will always remain that way.