I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was having the best sales day of my career. I was so full of energy as I was just selling over and over then over the intercom “Louis you have a call on line 3.” Louis, it's your mother. Hey Mama, how are you? They found him! Your dad hung himself!” I just fell to my knees and started crying then got up and yelled, slammed the phone and ran out of the building. See, my father was suffering from depression. He just lost his mother (my nana) and was not working. So to see him in his room in the dark, never coming out. Not to spend time with his granddaughters which he “loved higher than the sky”. This has been the most difficult thing in my life that I’ve had to deal with. Every year when it was getting close to the anniversary of his death I would fall into some type of depression not knowing why until it was his birthday. He did this the day after his bday and we found him a week later. Not understand what I was going through and why I was feeling this way, and even though I stopped using cocaine and alcohol I would still self-medicate with pain pills and marijuana. Every day to numb the pain I was feeling from the loss. Having that empty feeling even though my children are healthy and my life was good. I kept as busy as I could. I received my associates in computer design and drafting. My bachelor's in project management. I worked for an electrical engineering firm designing electrical plans and various other tasks. Then COVID hit and I was laid off. This was the most difficult time I was going through. I had started using fentanyl, it was numbing the pain from all the emotions I was going through. I have gone to detox twice for it in 2022. Then finally got hired on at a painting company, but the use of fentanyl got at an all-time high, I was just using it to get well. So on Nov. 21, 2022, I checked into a detox for the third time. I completed their residential program, and am now in I.O.P. (intensive outpatient). This is the best decision I have ever made in my life. Here I've learned how to deal with my internal problems. How to deal with addiction and my mental health issues. Currently, I'm 142 days sober. I work for Just 1 Life Services. I am a Peer Recovery Support Specialist trainer. I have my PRSS so when I complete this program I can return to help others in the struggle of addiction and mental health illness. I am also pursuing my Masters at Grand Canyon University in substance abuse and addiction counseling. I plan to become a therapist, to me it is an inspiration when I see others help when they have gone through the struggle and are living in recovery. It has taught me a few things. Never judge anyone because you never know what they are going through and have been through. Mental health illness can just take over anyone without discrimination. We need to be vigilant with our family and peers. Just a simple check-in on them can make a world of difference. I would have to say the most important thing I have learned is to never give up. It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many times you get up.