I'm the most indecisive person I know. Once, when I was ten, I was tasked with the issue of having to decide what ice cream I wanted. I wanted to try the new flavor, but even then, I knew the difference between spending four dollars on a pint-sized Ben and Jerry's Half-Baked ice cream and the store-brand gallon-sized vanilla ice cream. That was one of the many many instances in my childhood that I had to come to the reality that I was just poor. Though I wouldn't let such thoughts dwell within my mind for too long because I had family and friends (or a friend to be exact) and I still knew how to have fun without too many earthly possessions. My mother made sure that lack of stuff wasn't the reason my brothers and I were chastised in school. Before "thrifting" was cool, I would buy my clothes from thrift stores. If you can't buy them at the market price, you might as well find them for half. Life wasn't bad when you didn't know what you were missing. We didn't pull ourselves out of poverty yet because low and behold, I'm still poor. We were able to make it work from my mother practically working herself like a dog, buying almost everything secondhand, and my older sibling and I finally being of age to work. We've found a way once, and I believe we can find a way again as I navigate the college scene and all the financial burdens they carry. With my education, I tried to save the most to soften the financial burden of moving to campus and starting a whole new chapter in my life. I took three different AP tests (Art History, Language and Composition, and 2D Art), two college courses through dual enrollment (Introduction to Sociology and US History I), and even now I'm studying to take two CLEP exams over the summer. I have and will continue to work towards completing my four-year education. I am currently majoring in Animation at UMass Amherst. Cartoons have entertained my boredom and were also part of the representation I desperately needed, so I want to share them with the world with my creations. I plan to work within the animation industry for Disney to create movies that enable the representation of people of many l backgrounds. After making it through my education or when I have enough where I'm not struggling to pay for college, I'd like to create a scholarship. I've seen how scholarships have completely changed people's lives like this one, and I want to give back. I want to create a scholarship for students pursuing art and/or animation because it's hard to start a career in a field that is difficult to break into without the skills that colleges provide. If awarded the Xavier M. Monroe Heart of Gold Memorial Scholarship, it would greatly help assist me in furthering my education in animation to finally create films for people who look like me. With this financial lift off my shoulders, I'll have more time to focus on my artwork and learn new skill sets that expand my creativity and propel me into the animation industry. Thank you for your time in reading this essay and creating it to help with the financial burden of higher education.

My favorite piece I've ever created is of a woman cutting off her hair. I spent around a week drawing it and then sewing the hair in. This drawing was created for my AP 2D Art class where my theme of all the art pieces I created was black women's experiences in America. I wanted to showcase to College Board the triumphs and trials of my and many black girls' experiences growing up. This art piece embodies both. My growth in loving how my hair naturally grows out of my body. I've felt frustrated with my hair from such a young age. I would get upset when my mom would describe my hair as shameless because it would be hard to manage and it would always be dry. No matter how much conditioners and butters were added it would not stop drinking it up. I was also getting fed up with the yanking and the pulling of my hair so I recommend a relaxer. Walking through the beauty supply store I looked at the other happy little girls on the relaxer bottles looking happy, they were happy because their hair was relaxed. Many girls in my class had a relaxer so how bad could it be? As of now, I love my natural hair because of how versatile it is. I've worn braids, wigs, buns, twist-outs, Bantu knots, puffs, and much more. I overcame my hateful relationship with my hair through community. After I got my hair relaxed, the natural hair community gained more popularity on YouTube. Through these videos, I was exposed to how much I can do with my hair and how to properly take care of it. My Yair wasn't nappy or hard to handle, I just had to learn to listen to it. With the help of my art portfolio containing this piece, I got accepted into my current major of animation. I put my soul into this art piece especially because this was my first time utilizing charcoal as a medium. I decided to push myself because I wanted to correctly express how I felt while I cut off my relaxed hair. As I drew out the woman's face I let my hatred for the people who told me I had to change, confusion about why my hair was difficult to work with, and my love for my natural hair pour out of me. After those emotions poured out of me all there was felt was pure joy. Happiness that I was able to move past my self-hatred and embrace that yes, my hair will never be naturally straight, and no that doesn't make me less than. I'd never put as much effort into a drawing until that moment. During the next few days of sewing on the women's hair with yarn, I couldn't stop smiling at the piece. I never thought I was capable of creating something so amazing that told the story of my hair so well. After I was done sewing on the hair and pinning it up the last step was to cut it. Snipping off that hair brought me back to my moment of cutting off my relaxed ends, I felt nothing but relief. The art piece was done and it was as if I was opening up a new chapter in my life, with college ahead of me and much to learn in the field of animation. As an artist and a future animator, I aspire to create positive media for dark-skinned black girls teaching them to love themselves how they are through my art.

My mother's radiant smile caused the corners of my mouth to twitch upwards as she effectively used a piece of string to fix the toilet handle when it broke. She's always been resourceful like that, what's how she's made it this far in America. Raising her three kids all alone she learned to be the mother and father of the household. She was a chef, housekeeper, handyman, and worker all in one. Without anyone to help her she had to do it on her own, for her kids. My art reflects that same reliance my mother has instilled in me. When I graduate I plan to work in the animation industry to amplify voices like my mother's and mine. The animation industry lacks diversity in its animators and even more in the stories being told. I can only name a few animated films that portray black girls when there should be hundreds. Black girls shouldn't have to settle with just a few stories that may not even represent them. They deserve to hear stories about black women who go off on adventures to save the world or go on to become the next president. I want to inspire hope and creativity in young girls. In my pursuit to create diverse films, I create art that showcases black women. As a child I had my hair permed, and I remembered the strongest emotion going through me at the time was excitement. I was genuinely excited to have permed hair, to permanently chemically change my hair texture in place for straight hair like the girls on TV. With the women with white hair, I used yarn as hair instead of just drawing it to bring it into reality. It's not just on the canvas anymore but in our 3d realm making the experience feel that much real. The woman's gaze is sharp and almost daring the audience to look back at her to shame them. Shame them into ever making her think her hair was ugly or less worthy of love as she cuts away at the mistake. I use shape language, texture, colors, and a multitude of mediums to create a new story for black women with my art, not just the same old tired narrative.

My mother's radiant smile caused the corners of my mouth to twitch upwards as she effectively used a piece of string to fix the toilet handle when it broke. She's always been resourceful like that, what's how she's made it this far in America. Raising her three kids all alone she learned to be the mother and father of the household. She was a chef, housekeeper, handyman, and worker all in one. Without anyone to help her she had to do it on her own, for her kids. Alone with just a suitcase in her hand she traveled from Haiti to America in hopes of creating a better life for her family back at home. Even now when she doesn't have any means for herself she helps her family in any way that she can. Some money or even sending a barrel of food and supplies can go a long way. Starting out in America she's worked odd jobs and even went to community college to pick herself off of the ground. She's my biggest inspiration because of her resilience in a world that seems against her. My art reflects that same reliance my mother has instilled in me. When I graduate I plan to work in the animation industry to amplify voices like my mother's and I. The animation industry lacks diversity in their animators and even more in the stories being told. I can only name a few animated films that portray black girls when there should be hundreds. Black girls shouldn't have to settle with just a few stories that may not even represent them. They deserve to hear stories about black women who go off on adventures to save the world or go on to become the next president. I want to inspire hope and creativity in young girls. In my pursuit to create diverse films I create art that showcases black women. As a child I had my hair permed, and I remembered the strongest emotions going through me at the time was excitement. I was genuinely excited to have permed hair, to permanently chemically change my hair hair texture in place for straight hair like the girls on TV. In the forth image I used yarn as hair instead of just drawing it to bring it into reality. It's not just on the canvas anymore but in our 3d realm making the experience feel that much real. The woman's gaze is sharp and almost daring the audience to look back at her to shame them. Shame them into ever making her think her hair was ugly or less worthy of love as she cuts away at the mistake. I use shape language, texture, colors, and a multitude of mediums to create a new story for black women with my art, not just the same old tired narrative.