I do believe that how we choose to respond to things, shapes our lives. I've watched loved ones ruin relationships, miss important events, and lose themselves completely, due to poor choices. It's never easy, on any party involved, when someone you know is struggling with addiction.
My dad has always been a drinker and he has always had trouble controlling his anger, especially due to his bipolar. I'm not sure at what point it started becoming a problem, maybe it was always a problem and I just didn't see it until I was a bit older( around 13). I do love my dad and he has done some great things, but he has also done some very hurtful and damaging things as well.
We know that alcoholism is an illness, and we don't want to blame someone who is sick, but it's always hard to keep those feelings at bay. Your mind is altered when you drink. Alcohol interferes with the brains communication pathways. It affects your balance, memory, speech, and judgement. Because of this, I always made excuses for my dad. I would say "he doesn't know what he's saying or doing right now, he doesn't mean it". It wasn't until I was a little older (16) and started talking to more people, that I realized this wasn't normal. Your dad shouldn't be getting black out drunk every Thursday-Monday.
I started to resent my dad. I started to think "if he wanted to get better, he would" or "if you wanted to stop drinking, he would. It's his decision". I knew that it wasn't my fault but I didn't know that maybe it wasn't his fault either. I didn't know what was going on in his head.
I think the worst part about living with someone with addiction is that most of the time, they don't think they have a problem. It's even worse when other people around you, other adults, aren't doing anything to help. I think my dad needed help a long time ago. Maybe if someone would've recommended therapy, he would be able to talk about his feelings rather than drink them away.
To reiterate, I do think that how we respond to challenges shapes who we are and what our life will be like. But I also think, we as humans are very intelligent, intuitive, and nurturing units. We should be able to be there for those who are in need. We should be able to recognize when someone needs help, especially if it's an illness such as alcoholism.