My suicidal ideation started in my junior year of high school. I have come to believe this is because of my own mother's depression and bipolar disorder; these heirlooms were not only passed down to me, but infected every interaction I had with her. My mother was unpredicable and made our home a prison of neglect and verbal abuse. I went without eating for days at a time and stopped contacting my friends. No adults noticed my decline and no length of time helped me understand why I was inherently wrong; for six months, I was completely and utterly alone. Now, as a high school senior, I know that period of turmoil didn't leave me unscathed. Normal bad days, the kind everyone has from time to time, send me into spirals. What if I keep feeling worse, and this time I do take my life? What if I spend another six months drowning in tears? What if this is the straw that pushes everyone away from me? Even on good days, I might lock myself away and panic about becoming the same woman my mother has. Through these experiences, the toxic home life created by my mother's unwillingness to accept help, and the fear I felt when I was envisioning my own suicide, I realized my purpose after high school was to be a counselor. I think back to all the times I wished I knew what to do, or wished someone else would tell me what to do. How many nights could I have rested easier because someone understood me and wanted to make a difference? I realized that I wanted to be that person for others, even if I was struggling, too. One of my greatest passions is understanding people as individuals. I can't imagine a better way of understanding and helping people than guiding them through their personal battles. If awarded this grant, the money would go towards my Master's in Psychology. My passion to pursue counseling as a career has given me a reason to live. If I have nothing else, I know I at least have the ambition and drive to help people, and a plan to achieve that desire. With this degree, I am equipping myself with the knowledge necessary to become a better, more productive person, as well as the means to connect with people and make the world a better place. I believe this scholarship can make my dream all the more possible, for both my and others' futures.