A feathered pink and blue gown bedazzled in glitter, paired with pink pointe shoes at the bottom of her feet. As a three-year-old, it entranced me to see her dance so elegantly, tiptoeing her way through the enchanted forest along with her purple unicorn, Lila. I tried mirroring the moves in front of the TV, hoping that I would eventually become the pretty Swan Lake Princess. Finally, after doing it 1000 times, my mom told me that I can become like her. It turns out, the dance was called ballet. And the movie I described is called Barbie of Swan Lake. I consider the movie as the ripple in my life, since without it, I wouldn’t have become the person I am today. At age four, I began taking dance classes learning not only ballet, but also Chinese folk dance. I didn’t understand much about stretching, practicing or rehearsal, but one thing was clear, my love for the stage. Though, as more classes went on, I felt like I was lied to. How come after all these years, I’m still not in pointe shoes, I mean that was one of the main reasons why I started. Later at age 11, my teacher announced to the class that we’ve officially reached the level to begin pointe class. I was ecstatic, knowing I could finally fulfil my younger self’s dream. Seeing the pink satin shoes and ribbons tied around my feet gave me such euphoria…until it was time to dance in them. Squeezing all five of my toes into a two-inch box, I felt the pain searing through the silicone padding. We tightened our muscles as we lifted our limbs, balancing on our tiny toes as it held our entire body weight. Dancers made it seem so effortless and painless, making me realize not everything is as it seems. The two hours classes became four-hour classes with the pointe shoes. I felt glee in the sparkly tutus, jumping and dancing around on stage, but something was missing. I mean I enjoyed it but still felt empty. The realization slowly crept in, perhaps ballet isn’t something I wanted to do long term. So, I decided to dial back on dance and to focus more on things to fill that void. Eventually, I found singing. I found the two were very similar; having to walk on and off stage gracefully, smiling even if everything was going wrong, using our core muscles to improve the performance, etc. The awareness reassured me; it didn’t shame me for making the “wrong decision” of backing out of a thing I did for almost my whole life. I understood that the years of training in ballet weren’t “wasted”, it was in fact a steppingstone for me to get to what I was truly meant to do. The fun talent shows I sang in turned into local, national, then eventually global competitions. Bigger ripples continued as I went for a singing TV show, leading to an audition for an idol survival reality TV show. The experience during my sophomore year made me realize that I needed to prepare myself better for the entertainment industry. Which led me to the NYU CDI summer program, finding out that this was the school for me to apply to. A simple Barbie movie, a steppingstone to discovering myself. Learning who I truly am. To some it might seem like a slippery slope, but just like a ripple, one small thing can have a huge impact.

Before being born, music was a part of me. Whenever my mom stopped playing music through the headphones, I would kick her belly in retaliation. Even as a two-year-old, I was singing along to “Endless Love” before I could speak Chinese. Since then, my mom has put me in a Mandarin dual language program, along with extracurriculars outside of school. But don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t FORCED into activities like singing, piano, Chinese folk dance, or ballet; I wanted to do them. By age ten, all the national competitions I participated in solidified my love for the stage and dream of becoming an artist. After an abruptly cancelled singing show in August of ‘23 in China, I was thankfully recommended to audition for an idol survival show that would kick-start my career in the entertainment industry on Chuang Asia Thailand, the iconic idol-survival reality TV show. Knowing how risky this would be, I still took the leap and auditioned. Months later, after passing the rounds of auditions, I ended up spending 6 unforgettable months in Thailand instead of attending school during my sophomore year. Being on the show as a trainee gave me so many things: new lifelong friends, motivation and many more skills of being an artist. However, after the amazing experience, I came back home in April of ’24 only to learn that my dad was homeless. I was devastated. The reality set in when I moved my belongings to my mom’s house. With no stable communication, I kept questioning if he was alive. I spiraled into depression; it was difficult to catch up on my schoolwork, but... I knew deep down I couldn’t stop. After all the hard work & sacrifices I made, I couldn’t let this situation get in the way of pursuing my burning passion for music. In fact, I used it to push myself harder than ever. I got into running start so I could get an AA degree by the time I graduate high school. I searched for opportunities to better prepare myself in the industry and ended up finding NYU Clive Davis Institute High School Summer Program. Despite our already shaky finances, my mom still supported me and used her retirement funds to pay for the tuition. When I arrived in New York, I witnessed the opportunities NYU could provide me. Music business classes, music theory, and working in the iconic Beastie Boys Oscilloscope Studio were just a few of the things done during those 6 weeks. Collaborating with talented students and amazing staff gave me a glimpse of life as a NYU student. Of course, after the program, I had my new concrete goal: NYU. Coming back to Seattle, I spent the next 2 months putting everything together to get in that school. This past November, I received the amazing news that I got accepted as an ED 1 student. I was ecstatic until we realized how high the cost of attendance was even with the little scholarship NYU provided. Mainly relying on my stepdad’s income for a family of four — my mom, sister and me — makes it financially unrealistic. But just like I’ve done before, I took the offer anyway. Knowing that I’ll be in debt for the next few years, I’m not letting that stop me. Even now, as I work two jobs, I’m happy knowing that I’m on the right path for my dream. And of course, I’ll create art to make people sing along, laugh, and cry — help them get through tough times, just like how music did for me.

Before being born, music was a part of me. Whenever my mom stopped playing music through the headphones, I would kick her belly in retaliation. By age two, I was already singing along to “Endless Love” before I could speak Chinese. Funnily enough, that was how my mom found out I had the potential to learn the language. Since then, my mom put me in a Mandarin dual language program, along with extracurriculars outside of school. But don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t FORCED into activities like singing, piano, Chinese folk dance or ballet, I wanted to do them. By age ten, all the national competitions I participated in solidified my love for the stage and dream of becoming an artist. After a suddenly cancelled singing show in August of ‘23 in China, I was thankfully recommended to audition for an idol survival show that would kick-start my career in the entertainment industry. Knowing how risky this would be, I still took the leap and auditioned. Months after passing the rounds of auditions, I ended up spending 6 unforgettable months in Thailand instead of attending school during my sophomore year. Being on stage as a trainee with other girls from around the world taught me so many new skills of being an artist. But after the amazing experience, I came back home in April of ’24 only to learn that my dad was homeless. I was devastated. The reality set in when I moved my belongings all to my mom’s house. With no stable communication, I kept questioning if he was alive. I spiraled into depression; it was difficult to catch up on my schoolwork, but... I knew deep down I couldn’t stop. After all the hard work & sacrifices I made, I couldn’t let this situation stop my burning passion for music, my identity. In fact, I used it to push myself harder than ever. I got into running start so I could get an AA degree by the time I graduate high school. I searched for opportunities to better prepare myself in the industry and ended up finding NYU Clive Davis Institute High School Summer Program. Despite our already shaky finances, my mom still supported me and used her retirement funds to pay for the tuition. When I arrived in New York, I witnessed the opportunities NYU could provide for me. Music business classes, music theory, and working in the iconic Beastie Boys Oscilloscope Studio were just a few of the things done during those 6 weeks. Collaborating with talented students and amazing staff gave me a glimpse of life as a NYU student. Of course, after the program, I had my new concrete goal: NYU. Coming back to Seattle, I spent the next 2 months putting everything together to somehow get into a school with a 7% acceptance rate. This past November, I received the amazing news that I got accepted as an ED 1 student. I was ecstatic until we realized how high the cost of attendance was even with the little scholarship NYU provided. Relying solely on my stepdad’s income for a family of four — my mom, sister and me — makes it financially unrealistic. But like I’ve done before, I took the offer. Knowing that I’ll be in debt for the next few years, I’m not letting that stop me. Even now, as I work two jobs, I’m happy knowing that I’m on the right pathway of my dream. Creating art to make people sing along, laugh, and cry — help them get through tough times, just like how music did for me.

My Pie in the Sky is becoming a successful entertainer. This dream was sparked by the 2003 animated Barbie of Swan Lake CD. Probably not what you were expecting, but this classic movie was the butterfly effect in my life. Three-year-old me seeing barbie dancing on pointe shoes entranced me, and after watching it more than 1000 times, my mom finally understood that I wanted to learn dance. Since then, I’ve dedicated years of ballet, Chinese folk dance, singing and piano classes. With each local and national competition I participated in, my love for the stage solidified. My courage was tested in August of 23’, when I got the rare opportunity to audition for an idol survival show that would kick-start my career in the entertainment industry. Knowing how risky this would be (financially), I still took the leap and auditioned. Months after passing the rounds of auditions, I spent 6 months in Thailand instead of attending school my sophomore year. Being on stage with other girls from around the world taught me many new skills and further confirmed my dream of being an entertainer. Unfortunately, after having the time of my life, I returned home to learn that my dad was homeless. Things gradually got worse as his phone, along with other belongings, was stolen and damaged. Since September 25’, I’ve only been able to see him a few times. With no way of communicating, I worried many times questioning if he was alive. It was difficult to catch up on my schoolwork, but I didn’t let that stop me. In fact, I used this to fuel myself to commitment to growth and to work harder. I got into running start so I could get an AA degree by the time I graduate high school. I searched for opportunities to better prepare myself in the industry and ended up finding NYU Clive Davis Institute High School Summer Program. Despite our shaky finances, my mom still supported me and used her retirement funds to pay for the tuition. When I arrived in New York, I witnessed the opportunities and possibilities NYU could provide for me. I worked with other talented students for 6 intense weeks, getting a glimpse of life as a NYU student. After the program, I made it my new concrete goal: NYU. This past November, I received the amazing news that I got accepted as an ED 1 student. I was ecstatic until we realized how high the cost of attendance was even with the little scholarship NYU provided. Relying solely on my stepdad’s income for a family of four ——my mom, sister and I ——makes it financially unrealistic. Now my dream is a detailed blueprint. My main objective, until I graduate high school later this year, is to find two jobs so I can relieve some of my parents’ financial stress, while my mom seeks work and makes the hard decision to sell her house in China (the one that my grandparents currently live in) to help with tuition. With this scholarship, it will relieve lots of financial stress, allowing me to fully immerse myself at NYU. Going there will help sharpen my performance and creative skills. I dream of creating art to make people sing along to, to laugh at, to cry with and to help get through tough times (just like how art did that for me). From there, I’ll secure the means to pay off to pay off my family’s mortgage, pay trips to travel all around the world and finally spoil them with the gratitude they deserve.

It's early 2020, l'm at home on my bed calling my friends to play Among Us, and do about anything to pass time. l suddenly hear someone playing a new tune on the guitar. I ask what song she's playing. "'wish you were gay' by Billie Eilish" she replies. After the call, l did a deep dive of this new artist. In a span of a week, l listened to all of her previous songs and interviews, instantly becoming a hardcore fan. As she grew to fame, more people knew her for her big baggy shirts, dark music videos, and badass electro-pop songs. However, l knew her more for her personal and vulnerable music. From the pandemic and isolation, l developed depression that soon became more extreme; suicidal ideations. The struggle of dealing with those thoughts left me mentally, emotionally and physically tired everyday. Though l attempted to distract myself with social media, funny videos or upbeat pop songs, instead it left me feeling even more empty. During those sleepless nights when l was too overwhelmed, l started to play "Listen Before l Go". Her honest lyrics accurately worded what went through my mind each day, l couldn't help but cry each time l listened to it. She was like a megaphone to say the things l didn't have the courage to say or admit. The song portrayed the helplessness in such a raw way l didn't know was possible. It was a way for me to peel back the layers of my daily masking, and to just fully feel my vulnerability and emotions. The ability to let me unbottle my thoughts slowly helped me get through each day. The year is now 2021, I'm back in in-person school for 8th grade. And Billie Eilish's new album, Happier Than Ever, is out. Things are slowly going back to normal, yet l still feel just as lonely and isolated. I spiraled even deeper dealing with the sudden changes around me. It made me feel so alienated like l was the only one dealing with these complicated and confusing feelings; stuck in the past while everyone else is moving forward. When l scrolled through her new songs, a particular title caught my attention, "Everybody Dies". Just 10 seconds in, my eyes were blurry from the tears streaming down my face, uncontrollably. It was like Billie Eilish was directly telling me: "But it's okay to cry And it's alright to fold But you are not alone You are not unknown" The song was so disturbing yet comforting, like a wet heavy blanket that first feels cold, but then feels warm. I played this almost everyday to remind myself that l'm not alone. It wasn't just a song to me, it was a reminder to stay alive. To keep on going. Along with the depression, came along anger. My relationship with certain people became rocky. I wasn't just angry with people and things around me, I was also angry with myself. Disappointed with how l wasn't "getting better", why l wasn't enough, etc. There wasn't a song that helped me with my frustration...until l listened to "Happier Than Ever". Just like her other songs, she described the emotions l felt. The roller coaster of a song not only was a therapeutic release, but also personal empowerment for me to find my freedom and happiness. It motivated me to heal, learn, and move on. I eventually got the courage to ask for help. I began going to therapy, determined to work on myself. Years later, l can confidently say, l'm happier than ever. Thanks Billie.

Hello, my name is Liliana, I'm currently 16-years-old. Before l was born, l would kick my mom if she stopped playing music from the headphones on her belly. When l was 4, l started ballet, by l was 10, l started taking professional vocal lessons. From then on, I've been working hard on my skills and making sure l do everything I can to help my career. After years of performing at galas and singing competitions, in 2023, l was offered an audition to participate in one of the most well-known idol survival shows in Asia, Chuang Asia. After 3 long excruciating months of callbacks and preparation, l finally got the big news...l got in! From December of 2023 to April 2024, l was in Bangkok, Thailand all by myself, not allowed contact my family (for show privacy reasons). Over those 6 months, l learned so much from trainees, staff members, mentors, etc. Though in the end l didn't become a girl group, l was beyond grateful for the opportunity and experience. Since coming out of Chuang, l decided to create my own MV videos with my experience being in them but also creating official videos for the show. The one I put below is the most recent and proudest video I've done so far. This song is called 缘起yuan qi, which is an OST based on the animated movie "White Snake", based on the ancient Chinese folk/love story. I chose this song not only to represent me as a mixed Chinese American, but to show everyone my vision of how the song is to me.    We recorded this during the summer with very limited shooting time, 1 day to be precise. From morning to night, we recorded in my Chinese hometown, Shenyang. We picked an old, abandoned factory to have the majority of our shots. l know how it sounds, but not only was the natural lighting the best, but that place perfectly fitted my visions. Before I explain the creative process of how I planned this video, here's some context (the movie version). The folk tale starts with a snake spirit (lady in white in English) and a human man. Though it's forbidden for humans and demons to be together, they fell in love. However, a Buddhist monk tries all his might to kill the snake spirit. Because of their love, the human sacrifices his life to save hers. Despite being heartbroken she waited hundreds of years for his resurrection to meet once again. Throughout the video, l wanted to show themes of loneliness (by only me in the frames in big empty areas) & the importance of memories. In the beginning of the video, l wanted the shots not showing my face, to resemble them as "blurry memories". l wanted to add a reference to the movie with a script she said about how "being with you [her human lover] will only cause harm". First half of the song l was mostly wearing traditional Chinese clothing with the similar hairstyle referencing the older tv show rendition of white snake from the 80s. The shots with me in a white dress were to represent her in the present (modern time). Certain shots of the traditional clothing were me pretending to be her, creating memories of what l looked like through my lover's eyes. The last part was a script from the movie about how she will find him no matter what. The last shot is a person (supposed to be him) giving me a hairpin (which is a reference to the movie of finally finding him).