There is a statistic by Pink October that says about 85% of breast cancer diagnoses occur in women with no family history of breast cancer. This is why my mom sobbed and screamed questioning why it happened to her when nobody else before her had gone through the same thing. This is when I realized, my mom had made me part of the smaller percentage. I was now 85% less likely to ever get diagnosed with breast cancer. I have never felt more guilty, as I know I would do anything to switch positions. I got home from my closing shift. As I entered my moms room, there she was. She had cut off all her hair, she looked lifeless and she could not move. I froze and stared at her as my dad cut her shirt because she could not handle raising her arms to take it off normally. It was too painful. Her skin was pale and her lips were chapped. We all cried and my heart became extremely heavy. My parents and my brothers left the room and I laid down with her. Unfortunately, in a traditional Hispanic and immigrant household, it is not very common to say the phrase "I love you". In that moment, I was not any of those things, I was my mothers daughter, so I told her I loved her. I put my face into her neck and I felt her teardrop touch my cheek, or maybe it was my own. Unfortunately, this was not the first time I had said hello to cancer. Ever since 2013, I have felt like cancer was a sibling of mine. My little and youngest brother was diagnosed with leukemia when he was only a year and 2 months old. The time for me to teach him new words, to play with him, and to innocently struggle to carry him because he is getting so big but I love him so much so I want to hold him like he is my baby. He was fragile, he did not know what was going on. In a way, I did always wonder if that was better or worse. I stopped holding him, I had to be feet away from him at all times, as the doctors told me and the rest of my family that we are all basically life sized germs to him. I did not want to make it worse, I did not want to hurt him. He ended up getting delayed with his speaking abilities. We were referred to a speech therapist, he learned sign language. Due to accompanying him during his sessions, I still remember how to say "help" "please" and "thank you". I have been fortunate enough to never have cancer running through my body. I have also been unfortunate enough to see it running through the bodies of the most important people in my life. We had to get all kinds of help during these times, as they were not easy in any aspect. This has shaped my dream to become a medical social worker. I strive to help families and children during their journeys if their loved ones ever fall ill. I have been given the opportunity to be the person on the opposite side of the rope, and I am determined to work hard for it. I admit it caused me tremendous mental health concerns, and I know I am not the only one. With my knowledge during school and even after, I plan to be light in peoples darkness.

I believe one of the most beautiful things that happens to us as humans is our hearts discovering new things in life to care about and love. Besides creating an impact through community service this is exactly what has happened to me throughout the experiences. I have been involved with community service since my high school years and I was introduced to it through the student council. Ever since, I have participated in various service projects from animal welfare, environmental sustainability, advocacy, and more. I have grown a passion and love for putting my time and effort into something important that means a lot to me and other people. I constantly looked for many opportunities in my school as it was what I had the most access to. This helped me become a bilingual speaker and translator at various school events where non-English speaking parents engaged. It made my heart full to be able to provide that service and help. I am now in college and I made sure I carried on my hunt for community service in my undergraduate career. Thankfully, there are plenty of opportunities here and I have taken part of them. I am majoring in Social Work. I am really happy I have the opportunity to make a career out of helping my community as it is something that has also become very healing to me. I hope to specialize in medical social work in hopes of working in a hospital environment specifically with children. While this is something I not only hope to accomplish now but also upon the completion of my college degree is to continue to support my non-profits and learn new ways to spread awareness over causes that mean a lot to me. There are a lot of causes and social issues that are entirely different, and while many times it can feel like we need to make lists of which ones deserve priority, that does not have to be the case as I have always believed there is more than enough space in our hearts for all of them to be important to us. My artistic passion is filmmaking. One of my greatest hopes and missions is to use my art and skill for filmmaking to create a short film with messages regarding the importance of community service and spreading awareness. As I said before, it is also a goal of mine to create new ways to spread awareness. Doing this is important as it is what can make somebody turn to community service and willingly go on the lookout for any way to support a certain cause. Throughout life, I have learned more and more every day just how beautiful it is to serve your community, educating yourself, becoming more knowledgeable and it is my dream to be able to show that beauty to my peers.

I often take pride in the way I can look at the colors in a world that can be very black and white, or maybe even severely blue. I believe my ability to see this way can be passed on with the power of kindness. I am so happy I get to use this a lot in my career as a medical social worker. I am a first-generation, first-born daughter of a Hispanic household. The only daughter of 2 hard-working immigrant parents and with younger brothers to set an example to, I have always found my education important to me. I am currently in my first year of college at The University of Texas at Arlington pursuing a bachelor's degree in social work, with hopes of one day getting my master's degree here as well. My wish to obtain a degree in social work with a medical specialization roots back to my own experiences with wonderful social workers who once helped my family adjust to the impacts of cancer. My little brother was only 18 months old when cancer said hello to him. Just last year, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Despite the emotional and physical toll that these experiences have taken on me and my family, I was able to find the importance of seeing the beautiful things that came out of the situation. If I hadn't, I think I would've lost my mind. I do think it is still important to express that it was not like this all the time, there were most definitely hard times that made the feeling of never being okay again become more real. One of the things that came out of the situation was my passion for social work. I always knew helping people made my heart full. The simple act of kindness and showing someone that they are seen makes me feel hopeful. I discovered that hope is one of my favorite feelings. My background in volunteer service began when I joined the Student Council in high school. I got to learn more about different organizations and non-profits and was exposed to all kinds of services from animal welfare to environmental sustainability. I became more educated on breast cancer after my mom was diagnosed. Now I have made it a habit to learn a little about every cancer that exists. After all, cancer has felt like another member of the family since 2013. I am in college now and I was able to participate in a sock fundraiser for women from my local Texas Oncology location. I strive to become a service coordinator in an organization during my time in college as I have found it is one of the most important things in my life. Another favorite feeling of mine is passion. Through the different kinds of services I have taken part in, I found myself passionate about animals, our planet, the general action of spreading awareness and educating my peers on topics that I believe are important, etc. I plan to use my education and my knowledge in the most impactful way. I plan to provide comfort, resources, and education for families throughout their journeys in battling different illnesses to ease their process from financial to mental aspects. When someone falls ill, it is like the illness reaches and spreads to the rest of the family members, except we see it in different forms. These can be seen as anger, confusion, depression, etc. These are times when people can see the world in black and white, or even blue. I live and plan to be the rainbow.

We often forget that no matter how long someone has been on this earth. It is also that person's first time living. No amount of time discards the fact that we are all in this world and doing life for the first time. Olivia Rodrigo's song "Teenage Dream" dives into the uncertainty that comes with being a teenager and the overall process of getting older. Often being told that it will be okay, usually by adults. Making us forget that we are still different people despite our similarities, therefore our journey could be on opposite sides of the rope. "They all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?!" Olivia installs a build-up during this bridge. I feel it is a reflection of how we become more and more uncertain and desperate for comfort as we grow older. When we are kids the world is still colorful and honestly quite wonderful. This specific lyric was one of the many from her album that resonated with me. I understand her growing desperation implied in this song as it starts softly with a piano background and grows into a gut-wrenching piece that only feels right to scream along with. My self-awareness can be a bit annoying sometimes. I am aware and I understand this is a time of self-discovery, and what is self-discovery if it does not have a bit of chaos in the process? My point is, I do not always believe the way my heart has felt the past few years is just due to the point in my life that I am in. My feelings and mental health struggles have always been dismissed and excused as "got your whole life ahead of you, you're only 19" another lyric in the piece. Olivia made me feel seen and understood at the fact that I feel angry towards this kind of statement. It often wants me to question them back and ask how could they possibly know that everything will be okay. I am also aware that depression does exactly this to a person's mind, the belief that it could never be okay again. Despite my anger, I appreciate the comfort people are trying to provide and I still find myself in an anguished state begging to hear the words "It will be okay" come out from another person's mouth. In the lyric, the end of the sentence says "But what if I don't?!" Oftentimes, we are told it will be okay, but in the case that it is not, I also question what will happen then. What is the plan for me if I am not okay? I suppose it goes hand in hand with the anger I feel towards the saying since they are not saying that based on fact, simply belief. I have often found my views to be optimistic, but I wanted to express a time and aspect of my life that I have had a hard time having that positive kind of view. It is a lyric and topic that resonates with my teenage experience and the chaotic feelings that come with the journey. As I start heading into my early 20's, or what I like to call teenage years: part 2! I grow more and more at peace with any possible outcomes, I still find the beauty in all the good things the world has to offer, and that alone lets me know that yes, it can be and it will be all okay.

1. I am a first generation and oldest first born daughter in a Hispanic household. Being the first to obtain a degree would mean the world and more to me. As a daughter of immigrant hard working parents, it would allow me to break a generational cycle. Something that would set future generations in our family up for success and better lifestyles. As a woman, Mexican-American/Hispanic and LGBTQ+ identifying student, obtaining this degree would only continue to prove that the negative stigma surrounding these 3 communities is completely false! Having a successful academic career and obtaining my degree would also mean that both my parents and my own sacrifices are worth it. As the transition to living by myself on campus has taken both a mental and physical toll on me but still keeping strong as I also know this is a golden time of self discovery and self growth. 2. I am pursuing social work during my undergraduate studies with hopes to get into graduate school as well to later obtain my masters. I chose this career due to a major influence from my own personal experiences. I have had first hand experience when it came to having loved ones get diagnosed with cancer. My youngest brother and my mom. The one who looks up to me and the one I look up to. During the times of their treatments, the help we needed went beyond their medicines, appointments, and overall medical aspect of their illnesses. It was both mentally and physically exhausting for everyone in my family. Her name was Rebecca, the angel that was sent to us. She was a medical social worker which is the specialization I want to pursue. She helped us in different areas from financial help to therapists. She helped us obtain a speech therapist for my little brother as his illness delayed his development with speaking. The sessions were 2 times a week, we all still remember how to say “please” and “help” in sign language. None of us ever forgot about her, as we all think we could not have gone through these journeys without her. I have always known one of my callings was to serve. When I found out what I could do with social work I instantly fell in love with it. Due to being the oldest sibling my whole life, I have also grown a sense of being a protector. Having my little brothers has made me want to protect and advocate for children. Hence my wish to specialize in medical social work with kids. It is also due to my hopes of one day becoming a mother as well. 3. I feel I have many goals and dreams. Among them, a long term goal I have for myself is to practice self-love. Due to my mental health struggles I have had a major struggle to admire myself and love myself. I believe I am always practicing it though. As an example, simply applying for this scholarship is like practicing self-love, as the willingness to apply to a scholarship means I do find myself worthy of one. That feeling is definitely progress to me. One thing I do love about myself is finding the beauty in small things, I think I found the beauty in applying to a scholarship. Loving myself would help me enhance the immense love I already feel for the people and things around me. After all, I am a museum of all the things I have loved.

I have been given the opportunity to be on the other side of the string when I was a vulnerable ball and a kind social worker wanted to help me and my family. I am a freshman studying social work at The University of Texas at Arlington. My desire to pursue this roots back to my personal experiences. Even if I had not gone through these experiences, I still feel I was created to serve. Through time I have simply learned to use my experiences as motivation and as reminders. It was a ordinary school day in my ordinary life. Getting in the car after school with my ordinary family. Little did I know my life wouldn't be so ordinary anymore, isn't that an interesting thing? No, it is not. My parents sat my 8 year old self next to my 4 year old brother. The only words that they said to us that I managed to process was "brother" and "cancer". Something I love and something I fear. My little 18 month old brother had been diagnosed with Leukemia which means to have cancer in his blood. Blood that runs through his entire tiny body. I think a part of me died that day that I have not been able to bring back to life 11 years later. Through all the years that he was being treated I felt like a life sized germ that could hurt my little brother. He was sensitive and fragile. My parents limited themselves when it came to getting involved in me and my 4 year old brothers school activities. We became those kids who's parents were never seen by other students or teachers. Of course this journey was not financially easy. We were sent an angel, her name was Rebecca. Me and my family made it an unspoken thing that we would never forget her. She assisted my parents with financial needs, she submitted us to a bunch of programs that could financially help us. Sort of how I am doing for myself with scholarships right now. She did not only find us financial help but also other help. The holidays were arriving and my parents did not have the head or the money to obtain us gifts for Christmas. She paired us with a community and made my brother an angel tree so that he could receive gifts. To our surprise, they listed us as well and me and my brother were able to receive gifts too. To continue listing what she did for us, she found a speech therapist for my little brother. Due to his treatment and his inability to learn the way me and my brother did, his ability to talk was delayed. She taught him sign language along with us picking it up as well during his sessions. We all still remember "please" and "help". These are a few but very meaningful examples of what she did as a social worker that inspire me. I want to help and from the bottom of my heart I believe I can make a difference in someone's life just like it was made in mine. I see myself working in a hospital environment also finding resources for a sick loved one in families. My family was falling apart when this happened, I want to be the extra support to bring strength to families who are going through the same. I want to study social work because the world did not end when I was 8 years old.

Since 2013, I have felt like cancer is just another family member to me. My little brother was only a year and a few months old when he was diagnosed with leukemia. Earlier this year my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. The second direct family member has been impacted by this nightmare of an illness. Although this has been hard, and at times it feels like we are alone in this, we have received incredible support from strangers to big organizations and nonprofits. My career of choice is Social work and with this, I will be those people supporting communities in need, from schools to hospitals from kids to our elders. The support and help that families need when challenges like these happen goes beyond the medications, the checkups, the bloodwork, everything. It reaches people who are not the ones with the illness. I lived various years of my childhood feeling like I could not be near my brother. I felt like I was a huge life-sized germ that could make him feel worse. He was sensitive and fragile and weak and he did not even know it himself. I am passionate about this topic due to the vast challenges my family has faced from physical to mental health problems. I myself have dealt with eating disorders along with depression and the amount of people I have received help from inspires me every day and reminds me how kind-hearted people can be when there were times I felt like no one had a heart. I am passionate about mental health due to the emotional and mental toll it has taken on my family with the presence of this illness. Along with many other challenges, my family has always fit the stereotype that hispanic families don’t believe in depression or other mental disorders. I want to be the one to break the curse and shine a light on them that they have never allowed in before. I have been allowed to potentially be the one on the other end by pursuing higher education and I have never been more sure it is what I wish to do. One thing I have had to give up is witnessing my little brother's growth in person due to living on campus at my college. I feel more disconnected from my family than I have ever felt before. I struggle to feel at home when I come back and visit but in the end, I know they know my intentions behind the education I want to pursue and they try to remain supportive no matter how much they miss me. I am a firm believer that going after our dreams and advocating for what we are passionate about is never ever a waste of time. So I am happy that I am spending my time like this. I am happy I am getting an education and I am happy to have the opportunity to apply to this scholarship in this moment.

For a really long time, I wanted to convince myself I was making it up in my head. That I was just feeling sad like everyone else does because it’s normal and human. I grew up feeling like my life was in a rush, there was always something to do and always something that had to get done. As the oldest and only daughter of a Hispanic family, all my life I felt like there was no time for my feelings and emotions. There were too many people and things to take care of and that needed my attention before myself. My parents, my teachers depended on me to be a good kid. My siblings needed that example as well. I found ways to cope in small things like writing, even if it wasn’t about what I felt in the moment, it was my way of self expression, only no one was really listening but it didn’t matter to me. As life passes and everyone around me grows, I grow too. Sweet middle school came around and life only took a turn for the worse. My emotions only got stronger and my head was always a blur. School became hard. School became hard? The one thing I was supposed to be almost perfect at was no longer at reach. One thing about this situation was that I realized and I saw everything crumbling down. I wondered for a long time if it would have been better being completely naive to my own destruction rather than seeing it with my own eyes. My intelligence and obedience were the things I was praised for my whole childhood by almost every adult in my life. So when I began to lack those things I felt like the only things that were worth loving about me were gone. I began to lose my appetite, it was hard to eat when I felt like I wasn’t even worth a cup of water. I couldn’t see it at the time but when I look back at pictures from that time, I truly looked lifeless. My parents began to notice how thin I started to become so they decided it would be best to take me to the doctor. Once we were there I thought we would hear the usual “Everything seems to be okay, just make sure you’re getting enough sleep to retrieve your energy.” But what I heard instead took me to a whole new level of the agony I was already feeling. In simple terms, if there was an imaginary scale that leads to cancer in my blood, I was already on that scale. The lack of nutrition couldn’t even distribute to my own blood and therefore I was causing myself an illness that has ended countless lives before. It was in that moment, that I knew this severely dark stage in my life was going to get a million times harder to get out of. I felt disappointed and so angry with myself because god, the world, had given me a lovely body and I wasn’t strong enough to learn how to love and care for it. I felt my life was falling apart and I wasn’t strong enough to get up for a really long time. My parents were mad, I didn’t blame them. For a really long time I didn’t have a normal morning alarm. My alarm was the ringing of a phone call from my uncle. We facetimed every single morning so he could see me take my medication. My normal was being told I should eat more because boys liked meat on their girls. My normal was a daily morning call from my uncle because my mother was too angry to even speak to me. My normal was being complimented on my cheek bones, at least someone liked how I looked now right? If I was no longer being praised for my intelligence and obedience maybe now I could be praised for my beauty right? I let my depression and eating disorder consume every part of me. Every self destructive thought crossed my mind because I couldn’t think of a healthy way out. Till this day I wonder what wounds I left open, which ones healed and which ones never will due to never receiving help. I saw the world in black and white for a really long time but the fact that I saw it like that didn’t mean I didn’t want to stop seeing it that way. Many people don’t know or haven’t thought of an answer to this question but if I were to get asked what is one thing I want to be remembered for, I’m glad I have an answer for it now. I want to be brave, I want to be remembered for my courage. Even if it’s just a bit. All my life it’s all I wanted to be. I never want to live with the “what ifs” again. During this entire stage of my life, if someone had just told me once that I’m a brave soul I think I would’ve fought for my recovery a lot sooner. For a really long time I thought I wasn’t worth fighting for but now I realize my peace is, which means I am. The smallest things in this world are beautiful to me and I'm grateful that my roller coaster of a life has created that part of me. I’ve grown to be empathetic, I truly feel for everyone in my life. I used to find it hard to believe that bad times were “lessons” I was in such agony that I thought to myself who would ever want to be taught a lesson like this. Dealing with my health continues to be hard but I fight for it everyday. None of this will ever mean that my life will be like a happy fairy tale for the remainder of it. Though it will mean I'm braver and that's all I've ever wanted.

The good old saying "One picture is worth a thousand words" has marked my life forever. A camera will tell a story that makes people feel all different kinds of things. Cameras have told me stories, sparked new ambitions and ideas. They can inform, entertain, persuade, etc. From a good old phone from the early 2000s to a huge camera with all kinds of settings being used for cinematography for the biggest film of the year. It will always inspire me to further inspire as well, to advocate for the things I believe in, to spread awareness about the things that aren't talked about enough, to tell the stories I want to tell, and to tell the ones that are scary to tell. I think cameras make the world a better place in tiny ways as bringing our hearts the comfort of having memories that slowly fade away captured. To big ways like capturing moments in parts of the world we can't see with our own eyes but that are very important. The camera is capturing but the person behind is the capturer and I want to be that capturer. So many stories go untold from the people who were never given the opportunity or were too scared. So much information and misinformation is dismissed by the wrong people to the wrong people. I want to live a life that I am most proud of. I would most definitely be proud if I lived a life where I helped people and told the stories that are waiting to be told through the craft of filmmaking. The camera inspires me to live a life where every moment seems beautiful to capture. Though I also believe a moment doesn't exactly have to be beautiful but a moment that makes you feel something, that makes you feel human. Art will always be meant to make us feel something and the camera has allowed us to do that.