I lost my mother to suicide in April of 2013, when I was only nine years old. Obviously at the time this is something that I couldn't really process all the way, a nine year old doesn't fully understand the impact that has on your life. I sit here typing this currently eleven years later still struggling to do so. As I learned recently when visiting her side of the family that I had not seen in about those eleven years since I learned that just about that entire side of the family struggles with depression. Realizing that I am clearly not immune from this blanket, I wanted to be able to put my mental health first. Recently, the topic of mental health has become much more prevalent in it's importance among people. And I always like to remind people when these discussions come up that the person suffering from whatever it may be is not the only one being effected by it or by its outcomes. With this, I've moved out of the living situation I had with my father for my own benefit, moved in with my girlfriend and her family and have been putting my own mental health and that of those I care about front and center. I am pursuing a career I genuinely enjoy more than anything, rather than something I just know will make money. We try to do at least one weekly get together of all of our friends while we can. Whether that be a movie night, game night, breakfast, or even a long running D&D campaign we have going. Having something on a weekly basis to look forward to has helped my mental health in ways I can't even describe.

Most of the adversity I have experienced in my educational career has been due to personal reasons and a less than ideal living situation to say the least. In the time spanning between the second and fourth grade I did a lot of moving schools. Both back and forth across the country from Connecticut and South Carolina and in just about every school in the towns I lived in there. After we lost my mother to suicide in April of 2013 I was finally staying in one place, Union, South Carolina. Even with this, problems continued to arise in my academic journey, the most prevalent of which being during my Junior and Senior years of high school. During my junior year my father and his wife got divorced and he got into any drug he could get his hands on, somehow more than he already was. This led to me having to pay for just about everything myself on a minimum wage fast food job, be a full time high school and college student, and try in vain to maintain even a shred of my mental stability. This understandably ended up leading to a drop in my grades and participation in clubs and such just given that I had much larger issues to deal with. I am very passionate about pursuing a degree in STEM because computer science in particular is something that I deeply enjoy and actually makes sense in my brain. Throughout a lot of schooling I was never good at subjects that had very flimsy rules, English, the arts, etc. because something without a set of correct and incorrect didn't process with me. When I discovered engineering in the 6th grade with a class my school offered I found it interesting but not particularly interesting but it was by not means how I feel about software. In High School I continued taking engineering classes out of vague interests and eventually took a class called Digital Electronics which struck a chord with me. Working with a set of And, Or, and Nor gates to create something large and complex with set, definitive rules of right and wrong. I obviously continued taking programming classes through my time at a local community college, where I mostly learned C++ and Visual C#. I can recall more than once during this time that I would end up missing the actual class that week because I was so engrossed with doing the work that had been assigned for the week. My financial circumstances currently are bad to say the least. As it stands now I have very little in savings because of my father taking every penny I had during his years long bender while I was in high school. The only savings I currently have are that of the past two years from working as the mascot at the aforementioned community college. That being said I am also scheduled to work as the mascot at the college I am transferring to whenever need be. I also have no idea how much I'll end up getting from FAFSA because I had to fill out various forms detailing why I couldn't provide my fathers information on it and have received nothing for two months now. Receiving this scholarship would be able to take a lot of stress off of my mind when ti comes to paying for school. I'd love to be able to pursue a career in the field as it is something I actually enjoy.

I first became interested in the STEM field because in middle school everyone in my grade was required to take at least one engineering class. The most basic one that a majority of people took was just the basics, learning the method of doing things, some basic terms, building a few things but not much more than that. I stuck with these classes throughout middle school simply because I thought that they were fun and much more interesting than most other things. Going into high school I continued taking engineering classes, I ended up being one of the first people to actually complete and pass all of the engineering classes offered. How it worked is that every semester the curriculum would shift to be about a different engineering subject, and when we got to one called Digital Electronics something in my brain just clicked. Being able to work through these big, complicated problems with nothing more than and, or and nor gates was incredible to me. I’ve always struggled with a lot of subjects like English or art in which everything is entirely subjective but having something like programming that just worked because it logically was supposed to was amazing for me. Realizing this I obviously continued to go into college for the same thing. I ended up going to a local community college simply to make things cheaper for myself, and for a myriad of personal reasons. But at this college I ended up taking some programming classes in a few different languages and I can recall more than once that I would end up working on the programming project for the week and end up missing class because it was so enjoyable to me that it was almost like a Zen state to me. I’d love to be able to have a career in this field just to be able to help people and be able to realize that sometimes that involves not making robots but doing quite the opposite. I’d like to one day be high enough in the field and my voice garner enough attention that when I point out what I believe is the obvious most times of how many people a decision may hurt that people actually listen to me. I think that this scholarship would help in my goals of being able to grow in the field of computer science because I don't have a lot of opportunities to do so. I get overlooked in a lot of scholarships because I wasn't the president of every club in high school, or didn't spend every waking hour doing community service. But that is because I had actual real problems to deal with, my father was on drugs and my Junior and Senior year I ended up having to pay for most things myself on a minimum wage job and wasn't concerned about how good everything would look on a college or scholarship application. Being awarded this scholarship would help by being able to take some of the stress off my mind about paying for school, even just the smallest amount.

I believe that mental health is important because I have seen and experienced first hand the effects of poor mental health. I've learned recently that my maternal family has a history of clinical depression and this has only emphasized this in my mind. One of the best anecdotes that I can think of to emphasize the effect of poor mental health is the fact that I lost my mother to suicide in April of 2013, when I was only nine years old. This obviously affected my mother the most but after the fact and still to this day it effects my family. Recently I visited my maternal grandmother for the first time in several years and when talking about my mother it still brings her to tears 11 years later. I've also seen more than my fair share of mental health crisis that didn't end in suicide. My father had almost always been on drugs but it became much more of an issue during my junior and senior years of high school. During this he was strung out on just about whatever he could get his hands on after he and his wife divorced leaving just about everything to me on a minimum wage fast food job. This in turn lead to a lot of stress on me and ended up taking a toll on my mental health. I can recall more than once that I ended up sitting in my car after work in the parking lot and just crying. This was one of the main things that lead to what many people describe as the most fun time of their lives being utterly miserable for me. All of that being said I have now begun to consciously try to take care of my own mental health and those around me. One of the biggest ways I've done this is firstly by moving away from living with my father and currently live with my girlfriend and her family. We both also try to regularly see close friends as a way for all of us to relax. At least once a week we try to get everyone together to do something, whether that be a movie night, a game night, breakfast, or a long running D&D campaign that we have. Finding some way to see the people I care about on a semi regular basis has improve my mental health dramatically. I've also begun to communicate feelings more as opposed to simply ignoring them like I used to. Even in just the sense that I will occasionally tell my girlfriend that I just need to 'blob' which doesn't have a formal definition but is rather just a felling of sitting around doing nothing to process emotions. I think this has also been a large contribuiting factor to me feeling significantly better on the daily.

I believe that education in life will be able to change my path forward in life by allowing me to not be like either of my parents. Neither of my parents went to college and my father didn't even finish high school. Both of them ended up in career fields they hated. I on the other hand have found a career that I enjoy doing more than anything else. Since I have started taking actual coding classes in college there has been more than once that I have missed the actual class because I was so engrossed in the programming project for the week and enjoying it so much. My chosen field would also likely guarantee me a job in the future. Again, as neither of my parents were particularly educated in anything they had to take whatever jobs they could get and we were scraping by most times. It's no shock to anyone that robots are becoming more and more prevalent in todays society, taking over any job you could imagine, including manual labor. That being said, working in a field in which I would be in charge of making sure these things that are popping up more and more work properly would enable enable a future family of my own to have a much better time than I did as a child. Having a good education and as previously stated being able to get a good job would also more than likely give me an opportunity to leave the small town in which I reside. I know many people have a fondness for small towns but the people here only ever seem to act to their own self detriment, pushing out any and all business or development that tries to move in. This also wasn't where I was born or spent most of my childhood so I don't have much of an attachment to it. An education would allow me to be able to get away from this and be somewhere more enjoyable. Lastly, I would like to be able to give back to society in the future simply by being able to be in a high enough position to be able to say 'no'. As previously stated there are many, many things continuing to be replaced by robots, a lot of which simply don't need to be. Although it gives jobs to people with the time to pursue an education with myself, it takes away any opportunity for those that have no such time and have to worry about tending to a family or other such needs. I would like to be able to have a high enough seat in a filed that when I tell someone "no, we don't need a robot for that, people are doing just fine", people listen.

I am a non-traditional student in the fact that I am one of the only people in my immediate or extended family to go to college in any sense. This means that I was not able to ask for help from anyone in my personal life for advice on how to do things and rather had to rely on the intro to college courses. This in turn leads to me realizing how very unhelpful some of the things they teach in those classes are are the hard way. I am also a non-traditional student in the sense that my parents have no input on my student life. My mother passed away in April of 2013, when I was only nine and as of writing this my father is on whatever drug he can get his hands on. So I am currently living with my girlfriend and her family. This leads to a lot of issues especially when it comes to FAFSA. I've had to jump through various hoops to even get my FAFSA processed without providing either of my parents information and as of writing this it still has not been fully processed for several months. I believe that all of this in combination is what drives me to do more. I strive to be better than anyone in my family has been because I've seen how a lot of things have turned out for them. Working back breaking jobs, being essentially immobile by forty and although my father is an outlier from everyone else in the family, falling into drugs. What drives me to do more is simply to be better than the sum of my parts and claw my way out of the hole I was born into.

My experience with mental health has been a rocky one to say the least. My mother took her own life back in 2013 when I was only 9. As I learned recently my family suffers from a history of clinical depression that pulled my mother into a hole she just couldn't crawl her way out of. I like to believe that this hasn't effected me in any large or meaningful way but it undoubtably has. I spent most of my childhood with the only maternal figure in my life being my father's wife who was only a few years older than I was and horrendously verbally abusive. This, combined with the perceived stress of high school made many of those years much less enjoyable than I had ever anticipated. When his wife divorced him my junior year my father fell into whatever drug he could get his hands on that week which sapped what little joy I was getting. I went from what I believed to be stressful to what actually was. With my father now refusing to do anything even approaching helpful I was the one that ended up paying a majority of bills while working a minimum wage job at a local fast food restaurant. It developed into me getting up in the morning, going to school and then immediately going to work. More than once I had my manager come to me and essentially demand that I leave because I was encroaching on hours that would make him pay me a full time salary. All this is to say that throughout this time my mental health took a tremendous downward spiral. With this I saw my grades plummet and motivation to do anything at all be whisked away. Once I was able to at least pull myself out of that rut to a functional degree I was accepted to Clemson University but couldn't afford it because of the past few years. Any scholarship foundation looked at my record and didn't see enough extra-curriculars, or a GPA that was too low, or something else in the same vein and there's nothing I could do about that as it stood now. So, because of a months long depression spanning my junior and senior years of high school I was forced to not go to one of my ideal colleges. As it stands now, I have spent the past two years at a local community college which by my saving graces recently implemented free tuition and moved in with my girlfriend and her father. I've also regained contact with my mothers side of the family that my father had not permitted me speak to 10 years, so much so that my girlfriend and I drove the several hours to see them. I realize in writing this that it may not be the most flamboyant and over the top essay, I may not have the best 'bold.org' profile. But I can confidently say that I am doing my best, and after years of barely being able to pull myself out of bed that is all I can ask myself for.

I believe what makes me a leader is my ability to gradually push things in the right direction rather than demand compliance, an ability to admit when I am wrong, and the ability to let someone else lead when need be. Firstly, I would like to say that a lot of my leadership skills are from my time in JROTC in high school. As I progressed through my high school career the number of students in the program gradually dwindled leading to me having to be one of the students that had been there for some time able to step up to a leadership position. With this I ended up as second in command, meaning essentially that I did all the work without getting any of the glory for it. My leadership skills have also developed over the past year or so as my friends and I have a long running D&D campaign that I have been in charge of DM'ing. For any reading this that are unaware, it boils down to me as the game master having to dictate the story that happens and how the players interact with it. This comes with having to balance the medium of bending the rules enough so that the players remain happy but also adhering to them enough so that there are still guidelines to abide by. This is one of the biggest things that I attribute my ability to push gradual change to more than anything. Rather than shoehorn in a story where it need not be I've learned to gradually push ideas. I also believe that this D&D campaign more than anything has lead to my ability to admit when I am wrong. During my time in JROTC in high school some of the instructors demanded perfection after giving you very little idea of where to start, much less what perfection looked like. So being able to develop this skill has been difficult coming from that. But in playing D&D it is something that I and my players are all doing for the first time. There comes rules for certain scenarios that no one knows how to deal with and I can often be wrong on many fronts but I can admit that whenever it comes. Lastly, I have the ability to not always demand to be the leader. This falls much in line to the same thought of knowing to admit when I am wrong. I've been in more than one scenario in which I am not the most qualified to be leading said scenario. In these instances I've learned when to take a backseat to someone more qualified and experienced with the situation

Legacy to me is about being remembered fondly by people. Whether that be friends and family or the community at large. There are many people in my own family in which their legacy is a tradition that we keep to this day. My uncle Paul for example is no longer with us and has not been for some time. But while he was still alive, every Sunday the whole family would crowd into his small townhouse for breakfast and he would make whatever you wanted. Now I am no longer close with much of my family for reasons I will discuss later (some of which I mean in a metaphorical sense and some in a physical) but I continue this at the very least on my own. I will invite over friends on the weekends and I will fill Paul's shoes and make anything and everything people want. As a child I used to enjoy the excuse to eat actual breakfast food rather than cereal or oatmeal, but now I see what I'm sure Paul originally intended. Just an excuse to have the people you care about around you. That to me is the best definition of legacy to me. On a much different note, what I have previously mentioned is one of the very few positive moments of my upbringing. I was born and raised in Connecticut where my mother and father had a difficult time keeping a house as long as I can remember, although I've been told of a house we had that I was brought home from the hospital to. Because of this we spent most of my childhood living with my maternal grandmother. There were days more often than not that I would hear my parents screaming and arguing with each other from the other room until they were eventually separated, though they were never married. I don't remember much from this time as I was a child, but it came to a close when my mother took her own life in April of 2013, when I was just 9 years old. I ended up having to move across the county to South Carolina with my father and his new wife, a woman only 9 years older than me, who was pregnant at the time. They ended up having two children together and after that, I always felt like an afterthought. In the summers that would scorch upwards of 90 degrees, while everyone else in the house got a wall mounted window AC unit I had to make due with a cheap fan. In the winters where it would drop below freezing during the night the best way to keep warm was to let my PlayStation overheat. Needless to say when I finally got my own car I was rarely at home. But, when I did get my own car everything else went down the drain. My father and his wife got divorced and he fell into every drug he could get his hands on, more than he already was. So my junior and senior years of high school I had to worry about a lot of things like bills and feeding myself. All this is to say that I want nothing more than no one to ever have to experience anything even half of what I have had to. Whether that be my own future children or anyone else's. Whenever it is viable for myself I would love to be able to speak out about my experiences for children at large to let them know that they are not alone and it gets better.

One of the most difficult times in my life would have to be during my junior and senior years of high school. My mother passed away in April of 2013 so by the time I was in high school in 2018 my father had already remarried. Even just after this, things became a lot harder as they had two children together and I was put on the back burner for just about everything. After the end of theatre rehearsals I would call to ask to be picked up and would have to wait another hour and a half to two hours as they seemingly forgot. During the winters and summers I was given no space heater or air conditioning unit respectively, while everyone else in the house was. This was it all of it obviously but is rather the best examples I can give. The worst of this came during my junior year of high school and continued through my senior year. My father and his wife got a divorce and things proceeded to get much worse. She left and took just about everything of value including the internet modem and router. This may not seem like much but this happened during the peak of covid where almost all of my schooling was done online so I was forced to go to my girlfriend and her family's house to do any school work. During this time my father also fell into any drug he could get his hands on, more than the already was. My personal belief was that he saw it as he didn't have a family anymore so he could just go hog wild. But in this he stopped paying any bills which left them to fall to me. I ended up having to pay for just about anything, food, power, water, anything for school. All on a minimum wage fast food job I was working. I recall more than once that I went into work and I'd have a few of my close friends that I worked with offer me money that I more than once refused. I can't say why I did this in a logical sense but that I did it more out of pride than anything else. I was able to get out of this though. As I went to college I moved out and in with my girlfriend and her family. The biggest thing to me is that I would like to be able to bring light to the many other people that have experienced things like me but are too afraid to talk about them whether it be fear of ridicule or fear that talking about it makes it real. I would like to ensure people such as myself in that situation that things do in fact get better. But you have to take charge of what you're doing and can't stand idly by.

One might assume that the person that I would say has most supported me in my educational goals would be my parents or something of the like. But for me this is wholly untrue. Due to fact that my mother passed away in April of 2013 and my father getting addicted to any drug he can get his hands on. Rather I have been supported most by my girlfriends family and several friends of mine. My girlfriends family has supported me the most even given the fact that they are far from what most would consider to be 'well off'. When I decided to leave the house in which my father and I were living at the end of my high school career for reasons previously mentioned they graciously allowed me to live with them, where I currently still am. They have also allowed me to continue my education through other various means of assistance. They have allowed me to use their cars and be put on the insurance to make it to and from school after I lost access to mine. The car I used throughout high school was under my father's wife's name and she stopped paying the insurance on it and without the title I can do nothing about it so it has been sitting in my friends front yard for two years now. They have also helped me in paying for textbooks and the like given their prices. On the other hand many of my friends have been able to help me simply by making a lot of it more bearable. There is a lot of stress that comes with being a college student and not only having people to do things with that can help you forget about your worries for a while but also are going through a lot of what you are is greatly helpful. Usually we try to do at least some kind of get together with people a week just so everyone has time to relax. Granted, I know that this is not sustainable throughout life but as everyone is going to college and living no more than an hours drive from us we plan to take full advantage of the situation. As previously stated we try to do something every week, whether that be movie nights, game nights, we have a long running D&D campaign that we frequently get together and play. Just as much as helping me pay for the many aspects of higher education my friends have helped me get through some of the toughest weeks mentally.

My experience with mental health has been a rocky one to say the least. My mother took her own life back in 2013 when I was only 9. As I learned recently my family suffers from a history of clinical depression that pulled my mother into a hole she just couldn't crawl her way out of. I like to believe that this hasn't effected me in any large or meaningful way but it undoubtably has. I spent most of my childhood with the only maternal figure in my life being my father's wife who was only a few years older than I was and horrendously verbally abusive. This, combined with the perceived stress of high school made many of those years much less enjoyable than I had ever anticipated. When his wife divorced him my junior year my father fell into whatever drug he could get his hands on that week which sapped what little joy I was getting. I went from what I believed to be stressful to what actually was. With my father now refusing to do anything even approaching helpful I was the one that ended up paying a majority of bills while working a minimum wage job at a local fast food restaurant. It developed into me getting up in the morning, going to school and then immediately going to work. More than once I had my manager come to me and essentially demand that I leave because I was encroaching on hours that would make him pay me a full time salary. All this is to say that throughout this time my mental health took a tremendous downward spiral. With this I saw my grades plummet and motivation to do anything at all be whisked away. Once I was able to at least pull myself out of that rut to a functional degree I was accepted to Clemson University but couldn't afford it because of the past few years. Any scholarship foundation looked at my record and didn't see enough extra-curriculars, or a GPA that was too low, or something else in the same vein and there's nothing I could do about that as it stood now. So, because of a months long depression spanning my junior and senior years of high school I was forced to not go to one of my ideal colleges. As it stands now, I have spent the past two years at a local community college which by my saving graces recently implemented free tuition and moved in with my girlfriend and her father. I've also regained contact with my mothers side of the family that my father had not permitted me speak to 10 years, so much so that my girlfriend and I drove the several hours to see them. I realize in writing this that it may not be the most flamboyant and over the top essay, I may not have the best 'bold.org' profile. But I can confidently say that I am doing my best, and after years of barely being able to pull myself out of bed that is all I can ask myself for.

My experience with mental health has been a rocky one to say the least. My mother took her own life back in 2013 when I was only 9. As I learned recently my family suffers from a history of clinical depression that pulled my mother into a hole she just couldn't crawl her way out of. I like to believe that this hasn't effected me in any large or meaningful way but it undoubtably has. I spent most of my childhood with the only maternal figure in my life being my father's wife who was only a few years older than I was and horrendously verbally abusive. This, combined with the perceived stress of high school made many of those years much less enjoyable than I had ever anticipated. When his wife divorced him my junior year my father fell into whatever drug he could get his hands on that week which sapped what little joy I was getting. I went from what I believed to be stressful to what actually was. With my father now refusing to do anything even approaching helpful I was the one that ended up paying a majority of bills while working a minimum wage job at a local fast food restaurant. It developed into me getting up in the morning, going to school and then immediately going to work. More than once I had my manager come to me and essentially demand that I leave because I was encroaching on hours that would make him pay me a full time salary. All this is to say that throughout this time my mental health took a tremendous downward spiral. With this I saw my grades plummet and motivation to do anything at all be whisked away. Once I was able to at least pull myself out of that rut to a functional degree I was accepted to Clemson University but couldn't afford it because of the past few years. Any scholarship foundation looked at my record and didn't see enough extra-curriculars, or a GPA that was too low, or something else in the same vein and there's nothing I could do about that as it stood now. So, because of a months long depression spanning my junior and senior years of high school I was forced to not go to one of my ideal colleges. As it stands now, I have spent the past two years at a local community college which by my saving graces recently implemented free tuition and moved in with my girlfriend and her father. I've also regained contact with my mothers side of the family that my father had not permitted me speak to 10 years, so much so that my girlfriend and I drove the several hours to see them. I realize in writing this that it may not be the most flamboyant and over the top essay, I may not have the best 'bold.org' profile. But I can confidently say that I am doing my best, and after years of barely being able to pull myself out of bed that is all I can ask myself for.

I've always been a believer in never saying the phrases "what could go wrong" and "at least it can't get any worse" out loud. Because in my experience the answers to those are 'everything' and 'yes it can' respectively. Taking from my own experiences I would like to give a few anecdotes about what exactly could and did go wrong in a few situations throughout my life. The first of which being a situation backstage on the set of a high school production of "Beauty and the Beast" I was a part of. This was the second production I was ever a part of and I was for some reason put as the stage manager for the whole thing essentially meaning that I was in charge of everyone backstage. For this show we had a large platform that represented the library that had to be wheeled out. Our director was very particular as to the placing of this platform on stage so I, being a first time stage manager wanted to have at least some pat in putting it out there. The issue here lies in the fact that in getting this platform to the exact position the lights on stage came up and me and the other guy moving this platform were stuck behind it for the duration of the scene because we were at center stage. Not only during this were we stuck at center stage for the duration of the scene but while we were stuck one of our set pieces due for use just a few scenes later (Belle's bed) had it's supports break and was lying crumpled backstage. Luckily we were able to get everything back in order with some hastily placed screws and a notice for Belle to not sit on the bed for the rest of the show. Now this instance wasn't an instance of someone saying "what could go wrong?" but it is believed by the cast and crew that it is an instance of someone saying 'McBeth' on stage which might as well the be theatre equivalent. Another instance being one of the many horrendous stories of my time working at Zaxby's (a southern fast food chain restaurant). One of the biggest what could go wrongs I can remember from working there is the idea of putting the method for clocking in and out across the restaurant from the managers office and not requiring anything from a manager to clock out. In this period before they started requiring a managers keycard to clock out I remember very vividly an instance in which after a long shift all of the other workers in the kitchen left immediately after closing without staying to clean, leaving just myself and the manager. This led to some things that were expected like us not being able to leave until about 2am (we closed at 11pm) but also one of my favorite stories to tell people. As I was taking out the trash that night I was confronted by a man with a large knife and a bulldog saying "Have you seen anyone around here? Someone has been #%*@ing with my mom, I'm gonna !^$*ing stab someone." I very quickly told the man that I knew nothing and I just worked there and immediately went inside to call the cops. As it turned out the man owned the property immediately adjacent to the parking lot and was on his property when the cops came so they could do nothing to him. Needless to say the manager and I were very fearful to walk to our cars that night. All this is to say that if you are to ask the question "What could go wrong?" the answer is almost always everything you could dream of and more.

The main way that I believe that I help others with their mental health is mostly by giving my close friends a place to exist and be themselves. A lot of my friends have less than ideal living situations to put it lightly. To help with this my girlfriend and I have provided a space, our home, that always has doors open to whoever may need it. And for the people that don't feel comfortable inviting themselves over whenever they need it we try to do at least one get together of people a week. Whether that be a night of playing board games, a continuation of our D&D campaign or just coming over for breakfast. I would like to be able to use my future career to be able to help people by for the most part being able to tell people no. As I am sure you have noticed, more and more jobs have begun being replaced by robots and preprogrammed software. I would like to exist at a high enough position in the field some day that I can tell people that a lot of things don't need to be robots. While yes it does provide more opportunities for people like me that have the time to dedicated to schooling it takes away from those that don't. Or even more so think of high schoolers getting their first job, most of them are in fast food and should that be entirely replaced by autonomous robots that would make it more difficult for inexperienced young people to begin to enter the job market

I believe that any support I give in everyday life is mostly to that of my close friends. I am no longer close with much of my family for reasons that don't really matter for this essay so they won't be mentioned much if at all. One of the biggest ways that I strive to be able to support my friends is to have a space for them to be around people. As I have gone into college I've begun to realize that having the eight hours a day in high school that you are forced to be around some of your closest friends is great and suddenly not having that is detrimental to a lot of people. So with that I, along with my girlfriend, have strived to create a space in which our friends can come together, at our house. It does make it significantly easier given the fact that many of our close friends still attend college relatively close (within an hours drive) and can still come quite often. At least once a week we try to do something to bring everyone together in a more casual setting. Often when catching up with someone there is a stigma to have to go do something and get dressed that put a lot of people off. So to compensate for that we really don't do that or have anything planned most of the time. Most people show up looking like they just rolled out of bed for whatever it happens to be we have planned. Sometimes is breakfast, sometimes we bring everyone over to play board games, we have a long running D&D campaign, and sometimes its just to exist together. All this being said, I'd love to be able to support people going through with my career. The point that I keep coming back to time and time again is that I want the ability to tell people in the field 'no'. A lot of things are being made into robots or programs that really don't need to be. While yes, this does provide opportunities for people like myself that have the time to dedicate to education and schooling it takes away from those that don't have that time and just need work for now.

What I believe to be one of my greatest achievements to date is simply a project that I had for a computer science class. To many it may not seem major, especially given that it was required but it is something that I to this day am very proud of. For this project we were tasked with making a game, nothing particularly difficult or complicated. For mine I decided to do a blackjack game, figuring that it would be something simple just making something that could count to twenty-one without going over. With something I initially thought would be so simple I wanted to do something with a lot of flavor. I wanted to theme and style it after something akin to like a Gameboy advance that I very much enjoy. Rather than finding stock images for the dealer I took some pictures of a friend of mine on a green screen and compressed it to fit the atheistic I was looking for. I also ended up wanting to put in background music and sound effects. Little did I know that the program we were working in, Visual Studio, only allowed one channel of audio. After several days of reading the textbook, reading old forums, and watching YouTube videos I was able to force the program to open VLC media player to have two channels. All of this to say that this was a project that I was very passionate about. All of this constituted a lot of extra that I wanted to put in to give it a certain personal touch. And knowing how much I planned to do I ended up starting to whittle away it at it several months beforehand. A few lines of code here, pasting in some methods there, rather than trying to do it all in the last few weeks of the semester. I recall more than once that I would end up missing class simply because I was so engrossed with the programming and in a kind of Zen state. One of the biggest things that this taught me is that I do in fact enjoy this career field. Sometimes I have worries that I am not actually interested in any of this but rather lying to myself because it is set to be a lucrative job position in coming years. But working on this project let me know that that is not the case and it is in fact something I enjoy. In the future one of my biggest goals that I have told various scholarships time and time again is to exist in the field of software and robotics enough to be able to tell people no. People are doing just fine with plenty of things that don't need to be made into robots. Sure it provides more opportunities for people like me that have the time to dedicate to things like school but takes away from the people that don't.

I first became interested not in computer science but rather engineering at large in the 6th grade. A majority of the kids in my grade were required to take an engineering class. It was nothing much, making a few things, presentations on some different inventions, problem solving. But it was something that I really enjoyed, so much so that I continued to take classes in this vein up through high school. In high school I was one of the first people to complete all of the engineering classes offered for the most part because of how strict about absolutely everything the teacher was. But one of the classes stuck with me, I believe the actual name of it was "Digital electronics" and something about everything the class was about just clicked with me. It was about how things logically executed, sure there was more, soldering together simple things, learning about the hardware, but the software part of it had a hold on me like I'd never had in a class before. Being able to make large, complex circuits out of nothing more than and, or, not, and nor gates just made sense to me. I've always had difficulty in subjects like English or Art where everything is subjective so having something that operates so well on a set of given rules because logically it should was amazing to me and I couldn't just let that pass, so I began pursuing a degree in computer science from that point on. After receiving my degree, I think that my dream job would more than likely fall under the obvious, something at some big technology company (Microsoft, apple, EA, etc.) for the fact that everything seems to be getting much more expensive for one, and I would love an excuse to move out of the small town I am currently in. That being said, there is something itching in the back of my brain telling me to go apply to some small tech startup that actually seeks to help people rather than some giant corporation. If I'm being honest, I haven't really thought that far ahead, I realize that's a cheap answer, but I've always preferred to take everything one day at a time, I'm not in a rush to get anywhere or plan anything out, It's something I'll figure out at a later date. Finally, I believe that I am the best candidate for the scholarship because, in the least pompous way possible, I need it. I see a lot of people applying for scholarships that are the head of every club and perfect students. But I didn't have that, I lost my mother when I was young, and my father was addicted to drugs so I had to put myself though a lot of high school and college and this scholarship would be able to take at least the smallest amount of that stress off of my mind.

I was born in Middletown Connecticut and moved to Union South Carolina at about 9 years old after losing my mother to suicide in April of 2013. After learning of basic engineering from a required class early in the 6th grade, an interest in the field has lead me to pursue it ever sense. I first became interested in the STEM field because in middle school everyone in my grade was required to take at least one engineering class. The most basic one that a majority of people took was just the basics, learning the method of doing things, some basic terms, building a few things but not much more than that. I stuck with these classes throughout middle school simply because I thought that they were fun and much more interesting than most other things. Going into high school I continued taking engineering classes, I ended up being one of the first people to actually complete and pass all of the engineering classes offered. How it worked is that every semester the curriculum would shift to be about a different engineering subject, and when we got to one called Digital Electronics something in my brain just clicked. Being able to work through these big, complicated problems with nothing more than and, or and nor gates was incredible to me. I’ve always struggled with a lot of subjects like English or art in which everything is entirely subjective but having something like programming that just worked because it logically was supposed to was amazing for me. Realizing this I obviously continued to go into college for the same thing. I ended up going to a local community college simply to make things cheaper for myself, and for a myriad of personal reasons. But at this college I ended up taking some programming classes in a few different languages and I can recall more than once that I would end up working on the programming project for the week and end up missing class because it was so enjoyable to me that it was almost like a Zen state to me. I’d love to be able to have a career in this field just to be able to help people and be able to realize that sometimes that involves not making robots but doing quite the opposite. I’d like to one day be high enough in the field and my voice garner enough attention that when I point out what I believe is the obvious most times of how many people a decision may hurt that people actually listen to me. I think that this scholarship would help in my goals of being able to grow in the field of computer science because I don't have a lot of opportunities to do so. I get overlooked in a lot of scholarships because I wasn't the president of every club in high school, or didn't spend every waking hour doing community service. But that is because I had actual real problems to deal with, my father was on drugs and my Junior and Senior year I ended up having to pay for most things myself on a minimum wage job and wasn't concerned about how good everything would look on a college or scholarship application. Being awarded this scholarship would help by being able to take some of the stress off my mind about paying for school, even just the smallest amount

I haven't made any advancements in the biological part of bioinformatics but rather in the computer science aspect. I realize that it in reality has very little to do with bioinformatics but one of my personal favorite accomplishments is a final project I had for a computer science class where I was tasked with making a game and I made a simple blackjack game. I wanted to have it in the style of an old school GBA game and have a few different things that I later realized were much more difficult than I originally anticipated. The first thing I wanted was to be able to have a dealer that actually moved in response to things happening in game. Through a combination of not being able to find several stock images of the same person and wanting to put a personal touch on it I ended up asking a coworker of mine if he would pose in a suit with a deck of cards so I could use his likeness. At the time I didn't really think how I would do this but I eventually asked another coworker who was a part of the marketing department and a professional photographer to help and he did most of the heavy lifting, providing a green screen and a quality camera. We ended up taking photos in the student lounge just before everyone was about to leave for the day. After this there was still a fair amount of actual programming to do that required a lot of tinkering with little things and changing things here and there. I originally set out with a goal of fixing or adding one or two things every day but I eventually found myself doing much much more just because I enjoyed it. Instead of writing the code for the outcome of one very particular scenario, I ended up writing it for every outcome of a given choice. On more than one occasion I was working on the project and ended up missing class because I was so engrossed with the work I was doing and by the time the teacher started giving people time in class to complete it I was already done. As far as career I would simply like to be able to exist in a high enough seat in the field that people would listen when I say that something is a bad idea, or when I say that something doesn't need to be a robot. I think that a lot of people are intent on replacing a lot of jobs that people are doing just fine with robots that simply don't need to be in that position and I'd like to be able to stop it.

I was born in Middletown Connecticut and moved to Union South Carolina at about 9 years old after losing my mother to suicide in April of 2013. Throughout my life, I have constantly been amazed by circuit boards and technology and the inner workings of such things. I believe that this started somewhere about the 6th grade when most of my class was required to take one of the introduction to engineering classes offered at the school. Although most people only took the class long enough to get the requirement to continue moving up through school I enjoyed not only the software aspect of the class but also the physical aspect of creating things even as simple as small gear trains. This led me to continue taking several different engineering classes not only throughout Jr. High but also throughout my four years of high school to the point that I am as of now one in only four people to complete the four-year-long engineering program offered by Union County High School. I am currently planning on continuing to fuel this passion by attending University of South Carolina- Upstate for computer science. This is a field in which I do find a genuine joy in much of the work and being able to pursue a career in the field would be a dream come true. That is where you and many other scholarships come in. I have never been part of a particularly wealthy family and even that is putting it lightly. There have been several points throughout my life in which my family and I have been threatened with the very real idea of being homeless that would have more than likely come to fruition had it not been for the kindness of friends and distant family members. I first became interested in the STEM field because in middle school everyone in my grade was required to take at least one engineering class. The most basic one that a majority of people took was just the basics, learning the method of doing things, some basic terms, building a few things but not much more than that. I stuck with these classes throughout middle school simply because I thought that they were fun and much more interesting than most other things. Going into high school I continued taking engineering classes, I ended up being one of the first people to actually complete and pass all of the engineering classes offered. How it worked is that every semester the curriculum would shift to be about a different engineering subject, and when we got to one called Digital Electronics something in my brain just clicked. Being able to work through these big, complicated problems with nothing more than and, or and nor gates was incredible to me. I’ve always struggled with a lot of subjects like English or art in which everything is entirely subjective but having something like programming that just worked because it logically was supposed to was amazing for me. Realizing this I obviously continued to go into college for the same thing. I ended up going to a local community college simply to make things cheaper for myself, and for a myriad of personal reasons. But at this college I ended up taking some programming classes in a few different languages and I can recall more than once that I would end up working on the programming project for the week and end up missing class because it was so enjoyable to me that it was almost like a Zen state to me. I’d love to be able to have a career in this field just to be able to help people and be able to realize that sometimes that involves not making robots but doing quite the opposite. I’d like to one day be high enough in the field and my voice garner enough attention that when I point out what I believe is the obvious most times of how many people a decision may hurt that people actually listen to me. I think that this scholarship would help in my goals of being able to grow in the field of computer science because I don't have a lot of opportunities to do so. I get overlooked in a lot of scholarships because I wasn't the president of every club in high school, or didn't spend every waking hour doing community service. But that is because I had actual real problems to deal with, my father was on drugs and my Junior and Senior year I ended up having to pay for most things myself on a minimum wage job and wasn't concerned about how good everything would look on a college or scholarship application. Being awarded this scholarship would help by being able to take some of the stress off my mind about paying for school, even just the smallest amount.

My experience with mental health has been a rocky one to say the least. My mother took her own life back in 2013 when I was only 9. As I learned recently my family suffers from a history of clinical depression that pulled my mother into a hole she just couldn't crawl her way out of. I like to believe that this hasn't effected me in any large or meaningful way but it undoubtably has. I spent most of my childhood with the only maternal figure in my life being my father's wife who was only a few years older than I was and horrendously verbally abusive. This, combined with the perceived stress of high school made many of those years much less enjoyable than I had ever anticipated. When his wife divorced him my junior year my father fell into whatever drug he could get his hands on that week which sapped what little joy I was getting. I went from what I believed to be stressful to what actually was. With my father now refusing to do anything even approaching helpful I was the one that ended up paying a majority of bills while working a minimum wage job at a local fast food restaurant. It developed into me getting up in the morning, going to school and then immediately going to work. More than once I had my manager come to me and essentially demand that I leave because I was encroaching on hours that would make him pay me a full time salary. All this is to say that throughout this time my mental health took a tremendous downward spiral. With this I saw my grades plummet and motivation to do anything at all be whisked away. Once I was able to at least pull myself out of that rut to a functional degree I was accepted to Clemson University but couldn't afford it because of the past few years. Any scholarship foundation looked at my record and didn't see enough extra-curriculars, or a GPA that was too low, or something else in the same vein and there's nothing I could do about that as it stood now. So, because of a months long depression spanning my junior and senior years of high school I was forced to not go to one of my ideal colleges. As it stands now, I have spent the past two years at a local community college which by my saving graces recently implemented free tuition and moved in with my girlfriend and her father. I've also regained contact with my mothers side of the family that my father had not permitted me speak to 10 years, so much so that my girlfriend and I drove the several hours to see them. I realize in writing this that it may not be the most flamboyant and over the top essay, I may not have the best 'bold.org' profile. But I can confidently say that I am doing my best, and after years of barely being able to pull myself out of bed that is all I can ask myself for.

I believe that education in life will be able to change my path forward in life by allowing me to not be like either of my parents. Neither of my parents went to college and my father didn't even finish high school. Both of them ended up in career fields they hated. I on the other hand have found a career that I enjoy doing more than anything else. Since I have started taking actual coding classes in college there has been more than once that I have missed the actual class because I was so engrossed in the programming project for the week and enjoying it so much. My chosen field would also likely guarantee me a job in the future. Again, as neither of my parents were particularly educated in anything they had to take whatever jobs they could get and we were scraping by most times. It's no shock to anyone that robots are becoming more and more prevalent in todays society, taking over any job you could imagine, including manual labor. That being said, working in a field in which I would be in charge of making sure these things that are popping up more and more work properly would enable enable a future family of my own to have a much better time than I did as a child. Having a good education and as previously stated being able to get a good job would also more than likely give me an opportunity to leave the small town in which I reside. I know many people have a fondness for small towns but the people here only ever seem to act to their own self detriment, pushing out any and all business or development that tries to move in. This also wasn't where I was born or spent most of my childhood so I don't have much of an attachment to it. An education would allow me to be able to get away from this and be somewhere more enjoyable. Lastly, I would like to be able to give back to society in the future simply by being able to be in a high enough position to be able to say 'no'. As previously stated there are many, many things continuing to be replaced by robots, a lot of which simply don't need to be. Although it gives jobs to people with the time to pursue an education with myself, it takes away any opportunity for those that have no such time and have to worry about tending to a family or other such needs. I would like to be able to have a high enough seat in a filed that when I tell someone "no, we don't need a robot for that, people are doing just fine", people listen.

My name is Leo Gordon Williams IV, I was born in Middletown Connecticut in November of 2004 to a less than ideal situation and lost my mother to suicide in April of 2013. After this and a long and arduous court case I was forced to move in with my father and his wife in South Carolina Throughout middle and high school I found a love for computers and technology. This was in no small part due to the fact that every student in my graduating class was required to take at least one engineering class which I actually enjoyed. So, finding a class in school I didn't have to suffer through I continued with engineering classes through high school and ended up becoming one of only 4 people at my time of graduating to complete all four. The curriculum of this class rotated by semester and the one that sparked my interest was called digital electronics, being able to create complex systems with nothing more than and, or, and nor gates was amazing to me. And being able to have something that operated on something logical of right and wrong every time with no exceptions was great. I eventually put in a college application with Clemson University, one of the best engineering schools in the state. I didn't expect to get in, I mean I also put in applications with UC Berkley and MIT. But to my surprise I was actually accepted, I moved in for the summer classes I would be required to take and met my roommate, until the day before classes were to start I was told they didn't receive any of my financial aid and I would need to pay for everything in full by tomorrow. So, needless to say, I called up the people that helped me move in a week prior to to the exact opposite. I ended up going to a local community college offering free tuition and got paid to perform as their mascot. I took more than my fair share of actually coding classes there that I enjoyed more than anything. I recall more than once that I ended up missing class because I was enjoying the work for the week so much. I believe that this scholarship would be able to support my goals of higher education because I don't particularly have the funds or perfect record that a lot of people have. I wasn't the head of every club in school, I don't have a perfect academic record. But what I do have is a passion for my craft and I think that that should be rewarded.

I was born in Middletown Connecticut in November of 2004 to a not particularly well off family. But to my parents credit, I never new that as a child. Neither of them had been to college and we spent most of the time living at my maternal grandmother's house. As I grew up I noticed my parent's fighting more and more until I eventually stopped ever seeing them in the same room together. Eventually, after several years of what I can look back on now as being on the brink of homelessness, we lost my mother to suicide in April of 2013. After an extensive court case I was forced to live with my father and his new wife, a woman only 9 years older than me (She was 18 at the time) and move to where they lived in South Carolina. And from this experience I can confidently say that the stereotype of 'evil step mother' does not exist for no reason. When I met the woman in May of 2013 she was already pregnant with a child (that I later found out was not my fathers thank the lord) that I will say will go on to be treated better than I was but not by much. That title would go to her second child, a girl that was my fathers. Throughout most of middle and high school until I got a car I was relegated to staying in my room most days simply so I didn't have to deal with the cascade of verbal abuse thrown about by this woman. In the scorching South Carolina summers while everyone else in the house got wall mounted air conditioners in their rooms I was given nothing more than a cheap box fan, and during the winter the best way to heat my room was to let my PlayStation overheat. When I began High school I finally had at least some excuse to be out of the house, I joined JROTC and the theatre department where I met some of my best friends to date. But even with that, before I had my own car I was forced to wait on school grounds in the dark, several hours after any practice waiting to be picked up. When I finally did get my own car it was nothing special, far from it, It was a 1995 Honda Accord that barley ran most of the time. And with this I was determined to not let anyone be in the position I was waiting for hours in the dark, any time someone even passively mentioned needing a ride home I was the first to volunteer. Very soon after I got this car my father and his wife got divorced and he fell into any drug imaginable. And this is where we get to my need for this scholarship. Throughout most of my junior and senior years of high school I had to worry much more about feeding myself every day on a minimum wage job rather than being the head of every club in school or getting an A on every test. I eventually had to go to a local community college as it was all I could afford and move in with my girlfriend and her father. Having this scholarship would provide me with the peace of mind of being able to pay for a career I enjoy with a fiery passion and some sort of satisfaction knowing that I clawed my way out of the ditch I was born into.

To put it simply my favorite big screen Spider-Man has always been and always will be Toby Maguire. Although I acknowledge that this is more than likely due to nostalgia. With that I pose the idea that Toby Maguire was a very good Peter Parker, Andrew Garfield was a top tier Spider-Man and Tom Holland isn't particularly good at either but provides a happy medium. As I said, Maguire is by far my favorite, I grew up watching the campy 2000's movies and looking back they are by no means perfect films which is what I believe things about superhero's and comics should be. I see so much today of studios trying to push comic book movies into gritty realism which in my opinion just isn't what its about. Comic books are kind of over the top and kind of stupid sometimes and I think the best way to deal with that would be to embrace it much like how the Rami Spider-Man movies did. My biggest grievance with the Amazing Spider-Man movies is really the same thing. They try to give realistic answers for a guy who got spider powers. I also think that Garfield's Peter Parker is way too conventionally 'cool' to have gotten bullied in school as it is portrayed. That being said, he performs as an, for lack of a better word, amazing Spider-Man, he is quick on his feet and is believable in coming up with the various quips the character is known for on the fly. Lastly, Tom Holland. Perhaps its the fact that I very much don't like the MCU or the fact that I'm not very fond of Holland as an actor in general but his performance never struck any chord with me. He somehow still seems to suave to be Peter Parker, and too awkward to be Spider-Man. I appreciate the movies bringing in more niche characters like Vulture and Mysterio but I still have the issue of trying to make them realistic and not just letting them be silly.

In my exploration of various literary works, I have encountered a recurring theme that has left a lasting impact on me - the significance of cherishing the moments life presents us with. While this may not have been the primary message intended by the authors, it is a lesson that has resonated deeply within me. The recent reading of H.G. Wells' "The Time Machine" and the beginning of "War of the Worlds" have prompted me to reflect on the transient nature of life and the uncertainties that tomorrow may hold. The portrayal of numerous characters meeting untimely ends in both fiction and reality has served as a poignant reminder that life is fragile and unpredictable. This realization has cultivated within me a profound gratitude for each passing day, compelling me to value and savor every single moment that life offers. As a college student navigating the intricate web of academics and future ambitions, I often find myself confronted with inquiries about my long-term plans. Society's expectation that I should have my entire life meticulously planned out at the age of nineteen is a weighty pressure that many of us face. However, my response of embracing the unknown and allowing life to unfold naturally seems to disappoint those who expect concrete answers. Rather than succumbing to the societal pressure of having a rigidly defined life path, I have chosen to adopt a more flexible and open-minded approach. Embracing life's uncertainties and remaining receptive to new opportunities not only eases the burden of expectation but also enables me to revel in the journey without fixating solely on the destination. This shift in perspective has liberated me from the constraints of predefined timelines and rigid structures. It has allowed me to appreciate the spontaneity and beauty of life's twists and turns, recognizing that some of the most extraordinary experiences emerge from unexpected detours. In a world that often glorifies meticulous planning and definitive goals, I have found solace in embracing the fluidity of life's journey. By relinquishing the need for absolute certainty and control, I have discovered a sense of freedom and joy in surrendering to the mysteries of the unknown. Ultimately, the lesson I have gleaned from both literature and personal reflection is that life's true essence lies in the present moment. By savoring each experience, embracing uncertainty, and staying open to new possibilities, I believe we can truly enrich our lives and find profound fulfillment in the journey itself.

My experience with mental health has been a rocky one to say the least. My mother took her own life back in 2013 when I was only 9. As I learned recently my family suffers from a history of clinical depression that pulled my mother into a hole she just couldn't crawl her way out of. I like to believe that this hasn't effected me in any large or meaningful way but it undoubtably has. I spent most of my childhood with the only maternal figure in my life being my father's wife who was only a few years older than I was and horrendously verbally abusive. This, combined with the perceived stress of high school made many of those years much less enjoyable than I had ever anticipated. When his wife divorced him my junior year my father fell into whatever drug he could get his hands on that week which sapped what little joy I was getting. I went from what I believed to be stressful to what actually was. With my father now refusing to do anything even approaching helpful I was the one that ended up paying a majority of bills while working a minimum wage job at a local fast food restaurant. It developed into me getting up in the morning, going to school and then immediately going to work. More than once I had my manager come to me and essentially demand that I leave because I was encroaching on hours that would make him pay me a full time salary. All this is to say that throughout this time my mental health took a tremendous downward spiral. With this I saw my grades plummet and motivation to do anything at all be whisked away. Once I was able to at least pull myself out of that rut to a functional degree I was accepted to Clemson University but couldn't afford it because of the past few years. Any scholarship foundation looked at my record and didn't see enough extra-curriculars, or a GPA that was too low, or something else in the same vein and there's nothing I could do about that as it stood now. So, because of a months long depression spanning my junior and senior years of high school I was forced to not go to one of my ideal colleges. As it stands now, I have spent the past two years at a local community college which by my saving graces recently implemented free tuition and moved in with my girlfriend and her father. I've also regained contact with my mothers side of the family that my father had not permitted me speak to 10 years, so much so that my girlfriend and I drove the several hours to see them. I realize in writing this that it may not be the most flamboyant and over the top essay, I may not have the best 'bold.org' profile. But I can confidently say that I am doing my best, and after years of barely being able to pull myself out of bed that is all I can ask myself for.

I first became interested in the STEM field because in middle school everyone in my grade was required to take at least one engineering class. The most basic one that a majority of people took was just the basics, learning the method of doing things, some basic terms, building a few things but not much more than that. I stuck with these classes throughout middle school simply because I thought that they were fun and much more interesting than most other things. Going into high school I continued taking engineering classes, I ended up being one of the first people to actually complete and pass all of the engineering classes offered. How it worked is that every semester the curriculum would shift to be about a different engineering subject, and when we got to one called Digital Electronics something in my brain just clicked. Being able to work through these big, complicated problems with nothing more than and, or and nor gates was incredible to me. I’ve always struggled with a lot of subjects like English or art in which everything is entirely subjective but having something like programming that just worked because it logically was supposed to was amazing for me. Realizing this I obviously continued to go into college for the same thing. I ended up going to a local community college simply to make things cheaper for myself, and for a myriad of personal reasons. But at this college I ended up taking some programming classes in a few different languages and I can recall more than once that I would end up working on the programming project for the week and end up missing class because it was so enjoyable to me that it was almost like a Zen state to me. I’d love to be able to have a career in this field just to be able to help people and be able to realize that sometimes that involves not making robots but doing quite the opposite. I’d like to one day be high enough in the field and my voice garner enough attention that when I point out what I believe is the obvious most times of how many people a decision may hurt that people actually listen to me. I think that this scholarship would help in my goals of being able to grow in the field of computer science because I don't have a lot of opportunities to do so. I get overlooked in a lot of scholarships because I wasn't the president of every club in high school, or didn't spend every waking hour doing community service. But that is because I had actual real problems to deal with, my father was on drugs and my Junior and Senior year I ended up having to pay for most things myself on a minimum wage job and wasn't concerned about how good everything would look on a college or scholarship application. Being awarded this scholarship would help by being able to take some of the stress off my mind about paying for school, even just the smallest amount.

One of my personal favorite anecdotes and one that I see people say a lot of good things about is a final project that I had to do for a computer science class of mine. The class was essentially learning how to use a programming language and the final was to make a simple game. I ended up wanting to make a simple blackjack game but with a lot of flavor. I wanted to have it in the style of an old school GBA game and have a few different things that I later realized were much more difficult than I originally anticipated. The first thing I wanted was to be able to have a dealer that actually moved in response to things happening in game. Through a combination of not being able to find several stock images of the same person and wanting to put a personal touch on it I ended up asking a coworker of mine if he would pose in a suit with a deck of cards so I could use his likeness. At the time I didn't really think how I would do this but I eventually asked another coworker who was a part of the marketing department and a professional photographer to help and he did most of the heavy lifting, providing a green screen and a quality camera. We ended up taking photos in the student lounge just before everyone was about to leave for the day. After this there was still a fair amount of actual programming to do that required a lot of tinkering with little things and changing things here and there. I originally set out with a goal of fixing or adding one or two things every day but I eventually found myself doing much much more just because I enjoyed it. Instead of writing the code for the outcome of one very particular scenario, I ended up writing it for every outcome of a given choice. On more than one occasion I was working on the project and ended up missing class because I was so engrossed with the work I was doing and by the time the teacher started giving people time in class to complete it I was already done. By the time the project was finished I had plenty of people asking to see what it ended up like, because I enlisted the help of so many people and the response I got most of the time was just "Wow, That's awesome". To me it felt like it wasn't much, but I've always been my own worst critic and I ended up getting a note back with the grade for that project from my computer science teacher that said how excited he was to see the programmer I was growing into and that certainly made me feel a lot better given his background of actually being in the field.

One of my favorite games that I can recall playing with my sister more than once is LEGO Batman 2. I've always been a fan of LEGO games, they're easy to pickup and play, they have a certain sense of humor that isn't most other places, and especially this day and age there is very few other games that allow couch co-op, which has always been one of my favorite parts. All this is to say that I can very specifically remember one time when we were playing it on the Wii we had at the time and absolutely wrestling with the controls. I'm sure I'm far from the first person to say it but the Wii's motion controls were far from ideal. In LEGO Batman 2 the motion controls were used to point at the screen where the aiming reticle was to go, and in the final boss fight this is a very important aspect. I can recall us in the living room with it pouring down rain outside so we had nothing else to do and just becoming livid with the system, eventually just giving up and as I recall we still haven't beaten that level to this day.

Success to me is just being able to enjoy life without having to worry about anything, without having to stress about paying bills, or dread having to go into work, or not being able to see friends and family. I've always been a firm believer that the point of life is to enjoy it, and if you're not then there really isn't any point. I know how easy it is to say as a young adult, barely even twenty, but it is a life practice that I intend to maintain throughout the rest of mine. I spent a lot of my early life worrying about said things, especially during my later high school years, my father got divorced and ended up giving up on anything that wasn't drugs so I had to pay most of the bills with my minimum wage fast food job that I didn't work at forty hours a week because my boss sent me home once I hit thirty-nine. And all of this is just things that made life miserable, especially given the fact that I did hate my job but there was no real way for me to get anything else and not end up homeless. All this is to say that I've found something that I do enjoy that would let me not have to deal with anything akin to that again. I'm studying computer science and we can all agree that computers and technology are not set to be going anywhere anytime soon. And being able to sit down and work with computers and code is something that I do genuinely enjoy doing. being able to have a job in which it is something that doesn't feel like a punishment and being able to have that be well paying is nothing less than a godsend this day in age. I was writing a paper for a different scholarship just before this one asking about passion in the computer science field and I had to cut out a lot just to meet the upper word limit. In that I talked about how in more than one of my computer science classes I ended up missing class because I was so engrossed working on the given project for the week in a sort of Zen state. Being able to have the opportunity to pursue a career in this field without having to worry about paying for school or student loans would allow me to maintain that ideal of just being able to be happy. It may not be the most grandiose of goals, but I feel as though that is what everyone else's definition of success come back to. I also know that I definitely don't have the biggest and most impressive profile, I wasn't the president of every club in school, I wasn't valedictorian, but all that is because I had much bigger things to worry about that gave me an appreciation for the times when I didn't have to worry about things like that, and all i really want is to be able to maintain that.

A personal favorite project that I have worked on was a final project I had for a computer science class at a local community college. For a final project in a class revolving around the programming language visual C#. For the final we were tasked with making a game, nothing particularly difficult or complicated. For mine I decided to do a blackjack game, figuring that it would be something simple just making something that could count to twenty-one without going over. With something I initially thought would be so simple I wanted to do something with a lot of flavor. I wanted to theme and style it after something akin to like a Gameboy advance that I very much enjoy. Rather than finding stock images for the dealer I took some pictures of a friend of mine on a green screen and compressed it to fit the atheistic I was looking for. I also ended up wanting to put in background music and sound effects. Little did I know that the program we were working in, Visual Studio, only allowed one channel of audio. After several days of reading the textbook, reading old forums, and watching YouTube videos I was able to force the program to open VLC media player to have two channels. All of this to say that this was a project that I was very passionate about. All of this constituted a lot of extra that I wanted to put in to give it a certain personal touch. And knowing how much I planned to do I ended up starting to whittle away it at it several months beforehand. A few lines of code here, pasting in some methods there, rather than trying to do it all in the last few weeks of the semester. I recall more than once that I would end up missing class simply because I was so engrossed with the programming and in a kind of Zen state. I think that working with technology inspires me so much because of how much it can do when used correctly under the right set of circumstances. I also like that its something that operates in a logical manner. I've never been good at things like art or English because most of it is subjective but technology operates in a logical manner that works sequentially. If there is something wrong with it you can gradually work through what is there and find that if there is something wrong it can be fixed, rather than something not working because it doesn't feel like it.

My experience with mental health has been a rocky one to say the least. Much the same as Sheri, my mother took her own life back in 2013 when I was only 9. As I learned recently my family suffers from a history of clinical depression that pulled my mother into a hole she just couldn't crawl her way out of. I like to believe that this hasn't effected me in any large or meaningful way but it undoubtably has. I spent most of my childhood with the only maternal figure in my life being my father's wife who was only a few years older than I was and horrendously verbally abusive. This, combined with the perceived stress of high school made many of those years much less enjoyable than I had ever anticipated. When his wife divorced him my junior year my father fell into whatever drug he could get his hands on that week which sapped what little joy I was getting. I went from what I believed to be stressful to what actually was. With my father now refusing to do anything even approaching helpful I was the one that ended up paying a majority of bills while working a minimum wage job at a local fast food restaurant. It developed into me getting up in the morning, going to school and then immediately going to work. More than once I had my manager come to me and essentially demand that I leave because I was encroaching on hours that would make him pay me a full time salary. All this is to say that throughout this time my mental health took a tremendous downward spiral. With this I saw my grades plummet and motivation to do anything at all be whisked away. Once I was able to at least pull myself out of that rut to a functional degree I was accepted to Clemson University but couldn't afford it because of the past few years. Any scholarship foundation looked at my record and didn't see enough extra-curriculars, or a GPA that was too low, or something else in the same vein and there's nothing I could do about that as it stood now. So, because of a months long depression spanning my junior and senior years of high school I was forced to not go to one of my ideal colleges. As it stands now, I have spent the past two years at a local community college which by my saving graces recently implemented free tuition and moved in with my girlfriend and her father. I've also regained contact with my mothers side of the family that my father had not permitted me speak to 10 years, so much so that my girlfriend and I drove the several hours to see them. I realize in writing this that it may not be the most flamboyant and over the top essay, I may not have the best 'bold.org' profile. But I can confidently say that I am doing my best, and after years of barely being able to pull myself out of bed that is all I can ask myself for.

My chosen field is that of computer science, for the most part because it is something that makes sense to me. I've never been good at things like literature or art that are entirely subjective but something like computer science, coding, makes sense in my brain. There is a set of rules that have to be followed and everything works in a sequential, logical way. I got into it at first simply because an engineering class was required and its something I fell in love with, software in particular and since progressing more into the field I've only begun to enjoy every aspect of it more. As cheap and easy to say as it may sound, the main impact I would strive to make with anything would be to help people, real people, the little guy. It's an undoubtable fact that society is continuing to move more towards computers for anything and everything. I've spent plenty of my life being dirt poor and wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'd like to be in the field in a high enough position to not only say but also be heard when saying "does that really need to be a robot?"

I believe that it is important to understand the universe firstly because it is human nature to do so, to understand things. I don't care who you are but understanding how something works the way it does scratches a particular itch in your brain. and secondly because understanding how the universe works, and more importantly, WHY it does so allow us to make the universe as a whole do what we want it to. Take for example something as simple as fire. Something so commonplace we have various different implements in society to prevent it from getting out of control. Hundreds upon thousands of years ago it was a mystery. What is it, how did it get here, can we make more, etc. Upon investigating and researching (whether we call it that or not) we as humans discovered that through a certain mixture of flammable substance, oxygen, and heat, fire was born. And this continued to develop, containing a fire to keep warm, affixing it to the end of a stick to provide light, eventually making it a staple in every household with gas stoves and internal combustion engines. Now fire has been around for a very long time but who's to say that what we may discover today or tomorrow will not make the same leaps and bounds in usefulness in hundreds of thousands of years. All of this to say that something so basic that we take for granted so often, like fire, came about being so readily available because of a want and need to understand. I also believe that it is important to understand the world around us in the same vein of being able to prevent the destruction of it. Understanding the universe as a whole provides us with a checklist of things not to do. Going back to the example of fire, learning what is or is not flammable, and how to deal with it when it does get out of control. But it also scales up so far as to when the first atomic bombs were dropped the scientists were not entirely sure that it wasn't going to set the entire atmosphere on fire. It didn't obviously, but a better understanding of the atmosphere and the bomb could have prevented any sort of worry whatsoever. Personally, I don't know what I as a singular person can do to better understand the universe for humanity as a whole I don't have a particularly keen eye, or any sort of fancy equipment, I more than likely can't point out any fact that isn't already known as of now. But what I can say that I do have that I have seen wanning in recent years is a want to learn and the ability to ask what many think of as stupid questions.

I first became interested not in computer science but rather engineering at large in the 6th grade. A majority of the kids in my grade were required to take an engineering class. It was nothing much, making a few things, presentations on some different inventions, problem solving. But it was something that I really enjoyed, so much so that I continued to take classes in this vein up through high school. In high school I was one of the first people to complete all of the engineering classes offered for the most part because of how strict about absolutely everything the teacher was. But one of the classes stuck with me, I believe the actual name of it was "Digital electronics" and something about everything the class was about just clicked with me. It was about how things logically executed, sure there was more, soldering together simple things, learning about the hardware, but the software part of it had a hold on me like I'd never had in a class before. Being able to make large, complex circuits out of nothing more than and, or, not, and nor gates just made sense to me. I've always had difficulty in subjects like English or Art where everything is subjective so having something that operates so well on a set of given rules because logically it should was amazing to me and I couldn't just let that pass, so I began pursuing a degree in computer science from that point on. After receiving my degree, I think that my dream job would more than likely fall under the obvious, something at some big technology company (Microsoft, apple, EA, etc.) for the fact that everything seems to be getting much more expensive for one, and I would love an excuse to move out of the small town I am currently in. That being said, there is something itching in the back of my brain telling me to go apply to some small tech startup that actually seeks to help people rather than some giant corporation. If I'm being honest, I haven't really thought that far ahead, I realize that's a cheap answer, but I've always preferred to take everything one day at a time, I'm not in a rush to get anywhere or plan anything out, It's something I'll figure out at a later date. Finally, I believe that I am the best candidate for the scholarship because, in the least pompous way possible, I need it. I see a lot of people applying for scholarships that are the head of every club and perfect students. But I didn't have that, I lost my mother when I was young, and my father was addicted to drugs so I had to put myself though a lot of high school and college and this scholarship would be able to take at least the smallest amount of that stress off of my mind.

Friendship is not only a large part of life but is at least in part what makes life worth living. Friendship to me is the driving force in life whether it be for the competition of wanting to beat someone at something or helping to get you through the hard times in life. Speaking as a High School student, High School is where I have met most if not all of my current friends. These friends have gotten me through hard times and also given me the time of my life on certain occasions. I have had my fair share of friendships that did not end well but the friends I have kept through those experiences are the best I have ever had. I put their safety and well-being before my own and would gladly do just about anything for these people. Friendship to me is the most important part of my life and what not only makes life but makes life worth living.