Being the new kid during my senior year of high school was something I'd never imagined. But, I am the new kid. Like most kids, I never planned on or intended to move schools. I just recently moved cities. I still had hope that I would at least finish my last year of high school at the school I’d been previously going to. My hope had got the best of me and I had to start new. I was extremely saddened by this. I didn’t know how to tell my friends. I just texted most of them that summer. We made empty promises that we’d see each other again. And overall we were just making future plans along with never seeing one another. We all grew apart because of the distance. Being the new girl gave me so much anxiety. I was in a new city, in a new room, and in a new home. During the summer I was constantly worrying that I wouldn’t fit in. Which was something I and most teenagers wanted. That I would never find anywhere to sit for lunch. Asking myself will anyone like me? I was so anxious about learning the way around my new school. Because It's honestly embarrassing. Being a senior and not knowing where your homeroom class is located. That's one of the automatic perks of being a senior knowing where everything was. I was constantly thinking about how afraid I was about this new start. Being the new kid has never impacted my life so much harder than this school year. I lost a ton of friends and a safe space to go. I was genuinely scared of this big change. It made me less confident and very unsure of myself and my future. During my first month of senior year. I was conflicted with what I wanted to do with my life. I thought that was going to live in my old city at least until I was twenty-one. The move hit me like a ton of bricks. because it was senior year I had to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. The whole process entirely was overwhelming. Now moving into winter I am more content with being the new kid I found my way, made new friends, and met amazing human beings. I was scared but I am appreciative, also grateful for this change.

Writing is important to me because it allows me to express what I want to say, and what I force others to see and hear. Writing has always been a form of escapism for me it helps me clear my head and say what I want to say without feeling guilty or shameful. Writing for me has become such a positive tool because it is my decision independently. I have control of what I want to express or say. Which is something that I am extremely grateful for and I see the privilege in that. Since gaining full control to write what I want my speaking and understanding of communication have become more fulfilling and I can appreciate writing. Not many people have resources like myself and I am fully aware of that. I was one of those people. Writing has been such a gift of clarity, reassurance, and my conscious understanding of how I process emotions and situations. I have gone through so much and I am only eighteen throughout my healing writing has done a tremendous amount in my healing and communicating with others. Because of writing my communication has improved so much I used to be a shy, timid person. Because I was scared to express myself it was extremely difficult to write when it came to communicating my emotions because of my own trauma. I have had to teach myself that being vulnerable, and telling others how I feel is something I have no right to feel ashamed of. Writing has created an outlet for me to get my feelings out on paper. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I have had to teach myself so much and understand a lot about myself because of the abuse. I am grateful that I have the overall privilege to write, to communicate, and to express myself. Once I write I have the power to say what I want to say. Nothing matters anymore. I feel free and without shame. Because I have the freedom to write it has helped me communicate in such a more valuable way and I really can appreciate it and take it into consideration. It truly means so much to me that I have the right to write. I am grateful to have gained control and the power to say what I need to and what I want. Which is something I am proud to do.