There was a time during high school when I genuinely didn’t understand why people wanted to be alive. I wasn’t suicidal. I never wanted to die and I was never in danger but I couldn’t see the point of living just to go through the motions. I’d watch others chase dreams and build lives and wonder what made them so certain they were meant to be here. I wasn’t sad, i just felt misplaced like I was waiting for something to give life meaning. Then music came back into my life. I started playing the flute when I was ten. I liked it enough but it didn’t spark anything in me. When the pandemic hit I stopped playing music altogether during my freshman year. It wasn’t until my sophomore year when I needed an art credit to graduate that I rejoined band and that’s when everything changed. I was introduced to music not just as a class but as something that could shape my life in a way I never expected. I played pieces that made me feel something, some brought me to tears. After a couple months in band, one random day I heard an oboe solo that stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t know why but something inside me shifted. I switched instruments soon after. I went from flute to oboe fully aware of how difficult it would be but also knowing that it felt right. If you were unaware, Oboe isn’t easy. Quite frankly it's one of the hardest instruments to learn. It has a sharp sometimes painful tone when played incorrectly especially for beginners. But I didn’t have time to be a beginner. I was thrown into my school’s upper-level band surrounded by students who had years of experience. I had to catch up fast. I practiced constantly. I struggled. But through it all I fell in love with the process. I worked hard because I finally had something I wanted to put all my energy into. By my junior year I was taking music more seriously and by senior year things began to take off. I earned first chair at All-County, second chair at Towson University’s Honor Band, and a spot with the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra as second chair oboist. Those achievements weren’t just about the music, they were about the confidence I gained in myself. Music became a space where I could challenge myself, face my doubts, and still find success. I still doubt myself constantly. I still feel like I don’t belong or that I sound awful. But my band teacher always believed in me. He pushed me forward, gave me the courage to try new things, and reminded me of my potential. Around the same time I started listening to musicals more. I became obsessed with how music could carry a story and how lyrics and melodies could make people laugh, cry, and connect with something bigger than themselves. That’s when I realized what I wanted to do with my life. I want to write a musical. I want to compose songs that stay with people, that make them feel something powerful. I don’t care if it makes me rich. I just want people to experience the same emotions I’ve felt through music. Music gave me what I didn’t know I was missing. It gave me purpose. It gave me emotion, passion, drive, and most importantly the desire to stay. It helped me find confidence in myself. It helped me find my place in high school. But more importantly, it helped me find my place in life.