Last May, on Memorial Day weekend, my mom got a call from my brother’s roommate telling her that my brother was missing. He told us that my brother and his friends went to The Flumes, a remote area where college students often went swimming in the river near a 15-foot dam. My brother drowned after diving into the water due to the swift undercurrent. Up until this point I was in disbelief that anything bad could ever happen to my brother. It hit me then that I would never get to see him again. The impact of my brother’s death had me stunned. He was kind, funny and my biggest supporter. I relied on routine to help get me through his loss. I went back to school only a few days after the accident and tried to act like everything was normal. I leaned on God to help me understand and process this loss. I reflected on my life until this point and realized that I wasn’t really appreciating what I had. I took for granted the people in life and how fortunate I was to have the opportunity to spend time with them. I decided from that point on to live like he lived. When I’m faced with a decision, I stop and think, is this something he would’ve done? One thing I admired about my brother is that he lived a very balanced life. When it was time to work, and focus he was fully committed to being thorough and efficient. When it was time to play, you could find him completely letting loose and having fun. Shortly after he passed, I traveled across the country to wrestle and the most difficult national high school wrestling tournament in Fargo, North Dakota. Many would have understood if I opted not to go. But I chose to go because this is something he would have wanted for me and I knew that even if I couldn’t see him, he would be there cheering me on. Although my brother is gone, he will always have a significant impact on my life and how I choose to live. By not letting my grief overcome me, I redirected my feelings into ones that strengthen my drive and my grit. I set higher goals with the intent of living my life to the fullest and making my brother proud. Before he passed, I had aspirations of wrestling for an NCAA Division 1 women’s wrestling program. I have achieved that goal and now aspire to become an NCAA All-American in college. As far as career goals, I will begin my studies this fall at Sacred Heart University as a Health Science major with an emphasis in Radiography. My academic success will ensure I am prepared to pursue a career in Radiography. A career in Radiography will provide me with the opportunity to make a difference in my community by helping my patients diagnose and treat their health related issues. The next 4 years as a student-athlete are guaranteed to be a challenge. However, I know that if I can get through something as difficult as the loss of a sibling, everything else in life will be easy and attainable.

My brother is best described as a “once in a lifetime” soul, someone who can touch your life in such a meaningful way that you’d be grateful to have known him even if it was only for a few minutes. Growing up, he set the standard for my sister and I of what a good sibling and person as a whole should be. There was this undeniable energy and radiance to him that could light up a room. Everyone knew when he was home from college because we were drawn out of our rooms and there was a boom of laughter coming from the kitchen. In the sixth grade, my brother started wrestling. Although it didn’t seem fun at first, I gave it a shot because I saw how much he loved the sport. I also wanted to be just like him and share his passion. From the day I started wrestling, he was my biggest supporter. When he was in town, he would volunteer at my practices, not only helping improve my technique but my teammates as well. He came to my tournaments and coached in my corner. When he couldn’t be there in person, he streamed my matches for him and his roommates to watch. By watching my brother compete and listening to his advice, I learned to be a hard worker and put my best foot forward. He taught me that even though some tasks seem daunting and hard, you won’t regret the work you put in. He also demonstrated how to lead a life of balance. He was able to be goofy and serious, have fun and get business done, and wear a smile during difficult times. Learning how to balance my life has given me the opportunity to love my sport and not experience burnout since my whole world doesn't revolve around wrestling. This balance my brother had mastered is one thing I work to achieve in life. I have seen teammates and friends get so caught up in wrestling that they find themselves overwhelmed and unhappy. When they focus so much on that one thing, they neglect all the other things they love. I hope to apply balance in my personal life but also the workplace. I want to be empathetic and fair person. I also want to both be selfless while prioritizing my well being. Along with living a life with balance, my brother lived one without regret. He made the most of his time here on earth even though it was cut short. Knowing that tomorrow isn't guaranteed, I want to ensure I live a life without regrets. This means I will put myself out there, stretch myself academically and athletically. I want to take advantage of every opportunity I am given and pursue my passions to the fullest. Because of my brother, wrestling is one of those passions I want to be my best at. Next year, I will be a member of the Sacred Heart University women’s wrestling team, one of only four Division One women's wrestling programs. I selected this school because it's one of the best wrestling programs in the country. It will push me towards my dreams of becoming an NCAA All-American. It will also be my opportunity to obtain a degree in health sciences. I intend to use this degree to fulfill my passion of helping others.

My brother is best described as a “once in a lifetime” soul, someone who can touch your life in such a meaningful way that you’d be grateful to have known him even if it was only for a few minutes. Growing up, he set the standard for my sister and I of what a good sibling and person as a whole should be. There was this undeniable energy and radiance to him that could light up a room. Everyone knew when he was home from college because we were drawn out of our rooms and there was a boom of laughter coming from the kitchen. In the sixth grade, my brother started wrestling. Although it didn’t seem fun at first, I gave it a shot because I saw how much he loved the sport. I also wanted to be just like him and share his passion. From the day I started wrestling, he was my biggest supporter. When he was in town, he would volunteer at my practices, not only helping improve my technique but my teammates as well. He came to my tournaments and coached in my corner. When he couldn’t be there in person, he streamed my matches for him and his roommates to watch. By watching my brother compete and listening to his advice, I learned to be a hard worker and put my best foot forward. He taught me that even though some tasks seem daunting and hard, you won’t regret the work you put in. He also demonstrated how to lead a life of balance. He was able to be goofy and serious, have fun and get business done, and wear a smile during difficult times. Learning how to balance my life has given me the opportunity to love my sport and not experience burnout since my whole world doesn't revolve around wrestling. In college, I am going to be part of my school's D1 women's wrestling team. While being a student athlete will be difficult, I will face adversity head on. I will carry my brother's legacy to school on the other side of the country in Connecticut by radiating the same light he had in the class and practice room. I hope to emulate his accountability, humor, and heart. Although my brother's passing was hard, my faith helped me process his death. Following Jonathan’s passing, my parish priest explained that although Jonathan’s vessel (body) is gone, his soul will live on forever. This was hard to believe at first until I reflected on the days since his passing, I realized he was sending us signs that he was alright. The most notable was right after his body was recovered from the river. My car radio played John Legend's lyrics, “My head’s under water but I’m breathing fine”. The irony of the lyrics and the present situation was just like him. This example and so many others solidified my belief that he is okay even though I can’t see him anymore.

My peers and coaches say I'm fearless. It's not that I'm fearless. I feel like I've been through a lot and that I've been able to overcome my challenges not because I'm fearless but because I didn't let fear take over me. Wrestling didn't always come easy for me. I started much later than others and I felt like I had to outwork others to make up for all the experience they had above me. When Covid hit, I thought my wrestling aspirations were over. However, I was lucky to be surrounded by a small group of elite athletes that continued to practice in what was essentially a large storage shed. It wasn't much, but the setback only fueled my desire to wrestle even more. By the time we could wrestle competitively, I was eager to put my work to the test. I did better than expected and placed 3rd in my section, which qualified me for CIF State, However, I didn't receive a State placing, which was a disappointment. My coaches urged me to wrestle at the national level. I wasn't sure if I was ready. I had to petition to represent California at the USMC 16U National Championships and part of me felt that if I didn't qualify outright, I shouldn't be there. However, my coaches taught me that my work ethic and how I perform on the mat was what matters. In my first time at Fargo, I placed fourth! This gave me my first All American title. The following year, I came back ready to wrestle my way to State. Not all matches were easy, especially when wrestling duals against other teams. I had to wrestle boys and many of them did not want to lose to a girl and this made them act aggressively or arrogantly. I had to not let these behaviors get the best of me. My junior year I achieved first place in my section, qualifying me for State. However, unfortunately, disappointment hit again when I didn't place at state. I then went on to place first at the Northwest Junior Regional Championships, which qualified me for Fargo. Shortly after state, my family went through a devastating strategy. My older brother, who was my inspiration for joining wrestling, had recently graduated from college and was spending a summer day with his friends along a river. He dove into the water and never resurfaced. His death was a shock to all who knew him. I had lost my biggest supporter and cheerleader. It would have been reasonable to expect that losing my brother would have been a good reason to back out of wrestling at Fargo, but I didn't. I knew he wouldn't have wanted me to and I didn't want to let him down. Despite my heavy heart, I wrestled my best and achieved 8th place, which allowed me to achieve my second All American status. In my final year of high school wrestling, I felt like a seasoned veteran. A lot of moments that challenged me in the past now became my sources of strength. I completed my senior year placing 8th at State and I am committed to wrestling for Sacred Heart University’s division one wrestling team in the fall. I will also be pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Health Science with an emphasis in Radiography so that I may become a Radiologic Technologist. I recognize that as I pursue my academic and athletic career at the collegiate level, I will continue to encounter challenges, but I have no doubt that my resilience and perseverance will see me through.

When my parents announced that they were getting a divorce, I was still relatively young. My main concern was whether I would have to leave behind all that I enjoyed: my school, my sports, my friends, and my home. I was afraid my life would never be the same. Luckily, I only had to leave my home but I still remained in the same community. As a result, I was able to grow up with my friends and everything I enjoyed remained the same, which gave me comfort. When my parents divorced, the arrangement was supposed to be half of my time spent with my mom and the other with my dad. It was really hard for my siblings and I having to bounce back and forth between homes. It was stressful and unsettling because I felt like I was always in between two households. Over time, the arrangements changed. My dad’s work schedule shifted to nights and he moved out of town, which meant my siblings and I spent most of our time with my mom. This provided more stability since I had a primary home and a regular schedule. My siblings and I bonded a lot from this experience and they have become my biggest supporters, especially in sports. Sports was always a part of my life. Throughout my adolescence, I was involved in t-ball, softball, soccer, basketball, and gymnastics. Later, I began wrestling. I loved the physicality and being a part of a team while still competing for myself. It allowed me to develop lasting friendships with others who shared my interest and passion for the sport. It also provided a way for my siblings to spend time with each other because they were the reasons I became involved in sports. Out of all sports we shared, the one my siblings and I bonded over most is wrestling. I was the last of my siblings to wrestle. I was inspired by my older brother, who wrestled first. Then my younger sister wrestled. I saw how much joy they got out of it, and I finally joined in my 8th grade year. Wrestling went beyond what the other sports did because it gave me the opportunity to be challenged in the most difficult of circumstances and come out successful. It made me enjoy the pursuit of greatness and provided me with the resilience to endure short term setbacks for long term gain. I am grateful for the opportunities that sports has provided in my life and I look forward to continuing my athletic and academic pursuits career at the collegiate level with the Division 1 wrestling team at Sacred Heart University in the fall.