Perspective is everything; take the number one thousand, for example. Looking up at the star-flecked night sky, one thousand stars seems so small, so insignificant in comparison to all the pinpricks of light in the infinite cosmos. And yet, to imagine how much life could change in the course of one thousand years, seems staggering, impossible to conceive for it’s so long. The problem is that, with ever increasing and expanding industrialization, our civilizations are creating and expelling elements into our environment that are exacerbating change. CO2 is being emitted as a byproduct due to human activity, and although a natural part of the Earth’s atmosphere and carbon cycle, the rate at which it is finding itself in the atmosphere is alarming. CO2 can exist in our atmosphere for anywhere between three hundred and one thousand years, and in a short period of time, we’ve seen a spike in atmospheric CO2, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in almost 800,000 years. It is heating up our planet and bringing us myriad of problems as Earth’s composition, climates, and weather patterns change. We are driving our planet into an unnatural shift in Age, and it’s terrifying. When I was twenty-one, there was a report that said that the world would end in thirty years. Although it sounded overexaggerated, and extreme, it was believable. Growing up, almost every passing year delivered new environmental tragedies: melting polar ice caps, raging wildfires, animals losing their natural habitats, holes in the ozone layer, seemingly irreversible damage to the atmosphere due to CO2. Yet, it seemed that despite the warnings, despite the articles, as a people, we combated the problem with underwhelming effort. It didn’t stem from a lack of desire; many people dedicated their lives to do research and deliver the facts. It was derived from civilizations so rooted in centuries-old technology that change didn’t even appear to be a viable option. That’s why I’ve decided to study environmental management, with an emphasis in green energy. I want to help people see that there are other options, that they are feasible, and we have the power to evolve our technology to minimize the damage we spew into the environment. I plan on making an impact in industries, and in government through changes in policy and procedure. I plan on doing research, because so many green developments exist in my head. I want them to find their way into the world, because we have solutions. We don’t have to be an idle party in the alteration of our planet. One such solution being carbon capture technologies. Although I’m not an engineer, and it may not be the focus of my program, I am hoping to learn more about the process. I’ve always been intrigued by the thought of either finding a solution to remove it or change its composition into something we could potentially harness or use.

When I was four, I dreamed of the stars. I wanted to be an astronaut, forever entangled in the constellations. However, I was not destined for the cosmos. When I was seven, my father told me of the medical field and the intelligence required to be a doctor. It was a challenge, but I wanted to do more than accept it – I wanted to excel. When I was ten, I wanted to be a surgeon; when I was thirteen, it was an anesthesiologist. By the time I was eighteen, I wanted to be a pediatrician. When I was twenty, as a junior in college, I had wanted to be a clinical psychologist. However, I was not destined to wear a white coat. When I was twenty-one, there was a report that said that the world would end in thirty years. Although it sounded overexaggerated, and extreme, it was believable. Growing up, almost every passing year delivered new environmental tragedies: the melting polar ice caps, raging wildfires, animals losing their natural habitats, holes in the ozone layer, seemingly irreversible damage to the atmosphere due to CO2. Yet, it seemed that despite the warnings, despite the articles, as a people, we combated the problem with an underwhelming effort. It didn’t stem from a lack of desire; many people dedicated their lives to do research and deliver the facts. It was derived from civilizations so rooted in centuries-old technology that change didn’t even appear to be a viable option. We are addicts to systems and products that are finite, and when they reach their limits, what options will we have? Moreover, will our societies even persist that long? These were the thoughts and questions that swirled around my head. However, at age twenty-one there were still no definite answers. So, when I was twenty-two, I decided to still have hope. I wanted to believe that if agendas could be put aside and greed could be forgotten, we could pivot the course on which climate change was taking us. We could lower our carbon emissions, plant more trees, and let green energy systems take us into the future. However, I couldn’t do that with the course I was on – so I changed my major to allow me to gain a little more exposure. Indubitably, being a doctor is selfless work, but so is working to improve the environment and managing the systems that we currently have in place. Human life is intricately connected to the earth and from it springs powerful commodities like water and food, and equally powerful industries. Yet, rather than being in a symbiotic relationship with the earth, human systems are gradually becoming parasitic and are threating not only our way of life, but the health of the planet as well. Finding new and innovative ways to manage water, energy, and land is tireless work; years of research and experimentation need to be conducted. Convincing a public unversed in environmental data and results to abandon known and comfortable systems in favor of something unfamiliar is demanding. Learning laws and jumping over barriers to get these disciplines into play so that sustainable practices could be enforced in a variety of environmental management settings is important for the future of the planet. Environmental management is the selfless work that I am looking for. Not only would I be helping people but I would be to helping to maintain and improve the systems and structures that we already have in place so that our societies and our planet can live and prosper in harmony. When I was twenty-two, I wanted to make a change. I was given the opportunity to dream, this great ability to choose the path that I wanted to explore. It would be devastating if children born today, tomorrow, or thirty years from now didn’t get that same freedom. I dream of green energy, combating climate change, and helping our societies survive so others can dream as much as I have.

I had never thought that this habit would come back to haunt me. Growing up, I never truly had to be very decisive, or even assertive. I just stayed quiet, and let my parents do the talking for me. I was the quintessential "good, quiet girl", the model child. If my parents said do, I did. I mean, they did know best, after all. Of course, I had my own mind. I knew what I liked, what annoyed me, what encouraged me. I knew myself. My mistake? I ignored myself. I never had wanted to be a doctor. Maybe as a child, dreams of that white coat had swirled in my head, but so did dreams of touching down on Pluto. It may have seemed fun when I was young, but grown up, those industries did not intrigue me. So, at thirteen, when my father came to me and said I was going to be a doctor, what do you think I did? Obviously, I went along with it. Each year after, I found myself searching different types of doctors: anesthesiologist, pediatrician, gynecologist. And each year, I found myself increasingly upset that nothing in the profession was able to spark an inkling of passion within me. But, I would persevere. I had to; my parents wanted that of me. I would know what I wanted to do by college, right? Wrong. By college, I was still no closer to loving that white coat than I was at thirteen. And now, the reality of being a doctor had become so much more real. Four years, internships, MCAT tests would come and go, and then I’d be off to medical school. I’d be trapped in a life I hated, still scrambling to find my own niche within the community. The thoughts were maddening, especially as junior year crept upon me. I should have said something, told my parents instantly that this was not what I wanted for my life. But, that “good, quiet girl” mentality kept my lips shut, kept my words trapped like prisoners in my throat. And I suffered because it felt like a part of me had died. I had lost control of my life, voluntarily relinquished it to appease people who didn’t have to live it. I kept thinking of the how I was in that moment, every day draining me of my remaining happiness, robbing me of my choice, silencing my voice. The problem was that moment would have never ended, how I felt then would have been the rest of my life, especially if I feared using my voice. That thought made me sick. I couldn’t let myself become this sad, hallow version of the once-brilliant girl I had been. So, I changed my major and decided to embark on a new journey. I made the mistake of letting my brightness dim. I gave up on who I was truly meant to be, and it nearly ruined me. From on, I’ll be nothing but unapologetically me.

How would you feel if I told you that my role model was myself? Does that sound conceited, like the vain Narcissus, infatuated with his own charm? Even though it is true, I must admit, it sounds that way to me too. However, what if I told you that my role model, rather than who I am now, is the person I could be? A future-me who has everything all figured out, who is capable, intelligent, compassionate, and strong? I’ve always had grand visions of who I would be: an astronaut, a philanthropist, a beacon of hope for the world. But, I’ve always vacillated, never too sure of the vision I had for myself. I don’t know if I’m destined for the history books, but I’ve always wanted to leave an impression on humanity. Even if my only impact were within my small social circle, I would have felt accomplished. Yet, every time I look in the mirror, I am unable to see that person – no matter how hard I try. My path seems unclear, like I’m constantly at some unmarked crossroads, and I’m unable to take that first step for fear of making the wrong decision. But that lady who looked back at me in the mirror, she was different. She was everything I wanted to be, a knight equipped with determination, education, and the means to help the world. She was me, but she wasn’t, and I was waiting for the day she rode in on her trusty stead, and swept me up, our consciousness merging and we became one. But, that’s not how life works. So, instead, she encourages me to work, to take that unapologetic step forward to reclaim my true path. She is the me, that has listened to and learned from my parents’ stories. She has properly internalized and compartmentalized their lessons of growing up in poverty, of hard work, of unyielding perseverance. She is the me who sees the adventure, the bravery, the decisiveness in the eyes of my peers and channels that energy into her every forward step. She is the me who has done the research, knows all of the avenues, and will do whatever it takes to make the world a better place. She is the me who is put together, the me whose life has fallen perfectly into place. Look, I know that she isn’t Superwoman, Garnet, or even The Last Airbender. She can’t conjure things into existence, she isn’t some ancient, wise elf or an all-powerful alien, but for me, that makes her all the more admirable. Despite being limited, she has accomplished her goals. She has succeeded without the magic, the superpowers, or the superhuman strength. She lets me know that I don’t need to be a wizard or a Crystal Gem to accomplish my dreams, I can be me, and that is more than enough. All the resources are at my disposal, some more easily attainable than others, but through perseverance and hard word, I, too can reach my goals. Not everything may fall into place, but that shouldn’t be the reason why I stop moving forward. There is a future version of myself out there that has challenged the expectations, that has risen past the tribulations, that has triumphed. When I think about that future-me, I know that I can do it, too. I know that one day, when I look in that mirror, rather than seeing that strange, yet motivating, version of myself, I have faith that that inspiration will be me. Due to my future-me, I stay motivated, stay curious, and stay willing to take chances. Because I know that one day, the future won’t be so far off, and I will be the best version of myself.