At the young age of 14, I sat on the edge of my bed wondering why I had no will to live. Wondering why I found no joy in the things I used to find joy in. I felt as if I was crazy, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I used to wonder: Why does my brain work like this? Why can't I just be happy? I attempted to take my own life multiple times, each time failing and no one knowing it had even happened. This last year, at the age of 17, I was finally brave enough to reach out for help. I was tired of living how I was. I wanted to find reason and purpose. I was tired of living every day loathing myself and being alive. My mother, who I originally reached out to, was so understanding. She immediately set me up with whom I would say is the best therapist in the world. For her privacy, I'll say her name was Haley. She saved my life. I went to her weekly, and I finally felt comfortable telling someone what had been going on in my head. She never made me feel crazy, or wrong for how I was feeling, which I had always been terrified of. She validated my feelings and helped me make plans to improve myself. I don't know where I would be without her. After many months of therapy, we decided it might be best for me to try medication. I got on Zoloft, and my life has been changed ever since. I remember two weeks into being medicated crying into my mom's lap, telling her how I finally felt true joy for the first time in years. I cried and cried and cried because I finally WANTED to be here. I wanted to be alive. But more than anything, I wanted to share my story with others. I wanted people to know that it is okay to ask for help and that it doesn't make you weak. My goal in my life is to help be a part of the movement to erase the stigma around mental health because mental health is health. It is just as important as any physical illness, and right now not everyone sees that. I want to spread awareness about those who struggle and how life may be harder for them. I want it to be easy for them to get help. I try my best to do this by posting avidly on my social media promoting mental health and the importance of it. My experience has definitely changed my understanding of the world. I am now able to see the world for the truly beautiful place of opportunity that it is. I am so blessed that I found the right medicine that worked for me, and the right therapist that worked for me. My life is changed, and I am so grateful for it.

3 years ago, I lost my grandfather to suicide. No one in my family had known that he was struggling, so when we learned that he had taken his own life, it was very shocking. Although it has been 3 years, I think about the day I found out daily. I kept on thinking, how could we have not known? What could we have done to help him? And lastly, I wish I could hug him just one last time. His death was insanely difficult and changed my entire outlook on life. I now focus on spending as much time with my family members as possible, and I always aim to make sure they know that I am here for them and how deeply I love them. Since his death, my goal has been to end the stigma around Mental Health as much as I could. I like to think that maybe if he had known that it was okay to talk to us, maybe he would have. I avidly post on my social media trying to start a conversation about Mental Health and its importance. I have had multiple people reach out to me and tell me that my posting has made them feel more comfortable and heard. That warms my heart because that is the biggest goal that I wish to "achieve". Above all, I hope to make him proud. We used to sit on his porch and talk about my plans for college. He would tell me he could not wait for the day I graduate high school, and that he would be there sitting front row to cheer me on. Although he never got to see that day, I live my life for him and in memory of him. I hope he sees me attend college and achieve all the great things we talked about.

The characteristic that I have that I value most in myself is my empathy. Since I was little, my dad has called me his little empath. He would say this because I have always been very sensitive to other people and their emotions. I care deeply about everyone, and it is very easy for me to empathize with someone and their situation. It hurts me when my family and friends are sad, and I do my best to uplift them in every way possible. I believe this came from my parents divorcing while I was young, and both of them oversharing the details far too much to 8-year-old me. I felt the weight on my shoulders to take their sadness away, and to make sure that every second they spent with me they felt loved and happy. I have always chosen hanging out with my parents over spending time with my friends. I feel responsible for their happiness and I know they value time spent with me. I feel like having the characteristic of being an empathetic person will help me in my life. When you are able to easily connect with someone on an emotional level, you automatically gain some of their trust and you become closer to them. Everyone wants someone to understand their pain and sadness, and they want someone to share their thoughts and feelings with. My goal is to always try to be that person for someone. I want to make people feel comfortable and loved.

I am diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. My personal experience with these disorders has greatly changed my beliefs surrounding mental health. I am embarrassed to admit, that before I had personally dealt with these struggles, I did not believe they were real. I believed that having Anxiety was the same as being nervous and that having Depression was the same as just being sad, this is drastically untrue. Just last year, at the age of 17, I was finally able to reach out and get help. I have struggled mentally since the young age of 14. I learned the hard way what Anxiety is really like. Anxiety can affect your day-to-day life. It can make it impossible to complete simple tasks such as going to the grocery store. It is physically impairing as well. For me, I could be made physically nauseous from just the idea of leaving my house. I also learned how it felt to be depressed. To be overwhelmed by your intrusive thoughts, to have no will to get out of bed or even be alive. My experience has led me to want to raise more awareness for mental health. I post avidly on my social media accounts, trying my best to erase the stigma and make it okay and normal to talk about Mental Health. I have had many people reach out to me and tell me that my posts make them feel comfortable and heard, and that makes me so incredibly happy. I believe that there needs to be more done in our education system to erase the stigma around Mental Health. Mental health is health! It is just as important as any physical illness, and there needs to be more awareness around that. I wish for everyone to feel comfortable asking for help. Overall, I am a changed person and I wish for everyone to fully understand the depths of Mental Health.

The most helpful piece of financial advice I have ever received is to put 50% of your check in your savings. Also, do not buy something unless you could afford to buy it twice, because then you know you can truly afford it. I am about to start college in the fall, and living by this advice has helped me greatly. I have been able to save up to start paying for college as much as I can, and I do not overspend on unnecessary items.

Throughout my life, I have encountered many tough times that have challenged me. One of my first challenges was when my parents got divorced when I was 8 years old. Divorce is hard on everyone, but me being one of the older siblings, had to show my younger siblings that it was all going to be okay. I stayed optimistic and tried my best to uplift my siblings and my parents daily. I am now referred to as the funny sibling, because of this. I have always tried my best to crack jokes and make dark situations lighter. Knowing that maintaining a light and optimistic attitude improves the moods of others around me, has made me want to continue to always do that. It is a special thing to know the positive effects of not losing hope, and I will always try to share that with others. Remaining positive has taught me that life can be less negative and down if you choose to not view it that way.