Since I could feel, I have always felt sad. From my family to my social life. It seemed that at every turn, every new page in my story, I found something new to struggle with in innovative ways. This was for various reasons, but especially so because of my disabilities. As I grew as a teen, my autism and C-PTSD defined my social interactions with others and how I viewed myself. With every day passing, my sadness deepened until it became a part of me. Despite that, I still appreciate the paths my conditions have opened up to me, especially with my fondness for the disabled community and my passion for art. My autism gave me the love of my life with my appreciation for humanity’s artistry. Socializing with my peers always made me feel lonely as I viewed myself as an outsider, somebody inhuman trying to fit in. My entire existence, I have been dehumanized and looked down on for the way that I was born, but that only made me better appreciate the kindness mankind had to offer. This is best showcased in the way I pursue the arts as a form of personal artistic expression and as a way to feel human. Human expression through art is so special to me because it’s honest and personal in a way that I rarely found in other facets of life. For someone who struggles with socializing and understanding society, being able to ‘talk’ with others through their art and experiencing their emotions in such a raw way has given me a special connection that made me feel less isolated. Even as I sunk further into depression and felt lonelier and more alienated than I had ever felt, the humanness of the art that I held dear to me was made special because of the way I felt my inhuman qualities were ingrained into my DNA. As I pursue my education, I also hope to give that same feeling of humanity to not just the people in my close circles but the disabled community as a whole. Whenever I struggled, the adults around me whose experience mirrored mine always gave me hope towards the idea that I might make it past my teens. Even if we were vastly different, there are so many people like me out there who may feel the same way and experience the same things but may lack the words or knowledge to understand it. If I get the opportunity to use this scholarship, I want to dedicate it to my budding creative career in the hopes that I could empower like minded disabled individuals to express themselves, because there is so much love out there to experience even if it’s hard to find. I want to go over my struggles fitting in, my struggles to express myself to my friends and family, my struggle with depression, and how I overcame all of it. I want to give courage to people through my art and I want to be someone people can turn to in times of need or advice. Although there aren't a lot of spaces for us to thrive, that doesn’t mean I can’t help carve out our place in the world. Even if I am different from everybody else, my emoti

Since I could feel, I have always felt sad. From my family to my social life. It seemed that at every turn, every new page in my story, I found something new to struggle with in innovative ways. This was for various reasons, but especially so because of my disabilities. As I grew as a teen, my autism and C-PTSD defined my social interactions with others and how I viewed myself. With every day passing, my sadness deepened until it became a part of me. Despite that, I still appreciate the paths my conditions have opened up to me, especially with my fondness for the disabled community and my passion for art. My autism gave me the love of my life with my appreciation for humanity’s artistry. Socializing with my peers always made me feel lonely as I viewed myself as an outsider, somebody inhuman trying to fit in. My entire existence, I have been dehumanized and looked down on for the way that I was born, but that only made me better appreciate the kindness mankind had to offer. This is best showcased in the way I pursue the arts as a form of personal artistic expression and as a way to feel human. Artificial Intelligence, despite how strongly corporations seem to be pushing it, will never ever substitute human expression in any meaningful way. The products that steal from actual artists without permission for a profit can only hope to imitate the emotions and feelings embedded into every intentional decision. This is because, unlike humans, computers can’t feel. Human expression through art is so special to me because it’s honest and personal in a way that I rarely found in other facets of life. For someone who struggles with socializing and understanding society, being able to ‘talk’ with others through their art and experiencing their emotions in such a raw way has given me a special connection that made me feel less isolated. Even as I sunk further into depression and felt lonelier and more alienated than I had ever felt, the humanness of the art that I held dear to me was made special because of the way I felt my inhuman qualities were ingrained into my DNA. As I pursue my education, I also hope to give that same feeling of humanity to not just the people in my close circles but the art community as a whole. Whenever I struggled, the adults around me whose experience mirrored mine always gave me hope towards the idea that I might make it past my teens. Even if we were vastly different, there are so many people like me out there who may feel the same way and experience the same things but may lack the words or knowledge to understand it. If I get the opportunity to use this scholarship, I want to dedicate it to my budding creative career so that I could empower like minded disabled individuals to express themselves, because there is so much love out there to experience even if it’s hard to find. I want to go over my struggles fitting in, my struggles to express myself to my friends and family, my struggle with depression, and how I overcame all of it. I want to give courage to people and these hopes of mine will breathe to life through my art. I want to one day help other people feel a little more human through my human art.

Since I could feel, I have always felt sad. From my family to my social life. It seemed that at every turn, every new page in my story, I found something new to struggle with in innovative ways. This was for various reasons, but especially so because of my disabilities. As I grew as a teen, my autism and C-PTSD defined my social interactions with others and how I viewed myself. With every day passing, my sadness deepened until it became a part of me. Despite that, I still appreciate the paths my conditions have opened up to me, especially with my fondness for the disabled community and my passion for art. My autism gave me the love of my life with my appreciation for humanity’s artistry. Socializing with my peers always made me feel lonely as I viewed myself as an outsider, somebody inhuman trying to fit in. My entire existence, I have been dehumanized and looked down on for the way that I was born, but that only made me better appreciate the kindness mankind had to offer. This is best showcased in the way I pursue the arts as a form of personal artistic expression and as a way to feel human. Human expression through art is so special to me because it’s honest and personal in a way that I rarely found in other facets of life. For someone who struggles with socializing and understanding society, being able to ‘talk’ with others through their art and experiencing their emotions in such a raw way has given me a special connection that made me feel less isolated. Even as I sunk further into depression and felt lonelier and more alienated than I had ever felt, the humanness of the art that I held dear to me was made special because of the way I felt my inhuman qualities were ingrained into my DNA. As I pursue my education, I also hope to give that same feeling of humanity to not just the people in my close circles but the disabled community as a whole. Whenever I struggled, the adults around me whose experience mirrored mine always gave me hope towards the idea that I might make it past my teens. Even if we were vastly different, there are so many people like me out there who may feel the same way and experience the same things but may lack the words or knowledge to understand it. If I get the opportunity to use this scholarship, I want to dedicate it to my budding creative career in the hopes that I could empower like minded disabled individuals to express themselves, because there is so much love out there to experience even if it’s hard to find. I want to give courage to people through my art and I want to be someone people can turn to in times of need or advice. Although there aren't a lot of spaces for us to thrive, that doesn’t mean I can’t help carve out our place in the world. Even if I am different from everybody else, my emotions are the same as theirs, and that’s what drives me to succeed as a human being.