America was the new light for foreign families. My grandparents, immigrants from Thailand, looked towards America to offer them a new life, a seemingly promising opportunity at the cost of disconnecting from families. We lived in a large yet cramped house in Rio Linda, a place of dust and grime, and yet I loved it. During my childhood years I had rarely seen my parents, they endlessly worked to support my sister and me. My family never had the luxury of fancy brand items with white titled houses and endless marble hallways. Like the expensive marble tiles, we had titles too, dirty brown with a hint of dull maroon seen in the dust filled cracks of each concrete lining of the titles. Our house's hallway had four doors hugging the thin whispering walls, the wooden frames leading to the entrances of each family members rooms: My four uncles and their four significant others, my grandparents, my sister, me, my mother, and my father. My parents had me and my sister young, in their late 20's to be exact, and they worked two jobs with 8 hour shifts to support us. They decided to devote their lives to giving me and my sister better futures. I never asked much of my parents, just wanting to have them by my side. I wanted to show them that their efforts were not in vain by trying my hardest in elementary school, winning the presidential recognition award. It was when I reached high school where the education system differed. I found joy in joining track and field, feeling as if I could overcome my own physical limitations, and yet I abandoned my duties as an athlete. My parents held tight working schedules, so much so to where I had to leave what I enjoyed the most to limit the burden on them. I wanted to show my parents that they were investing in the right decision and I wanted to make my parents proud. I took advanced placement classes, pushed myself to my limits because not only did I strive for higher education but I also wanted to prove that I could overcome my own limits. Taking these classes seemed promising, feeling as if I could achieve something greater. I wanted to strive for the top colleges that all my peers were communicating about. It was when I realized the cost for such education, a despair drifted across my face. I felt hopeless, feeling unable to reach what I worked so hard to run towards. I not only let go of myself but I also felt my parents efforts were for nothing. I circled back to my family. From what seemed hopeless turned to something hopeful, I found optimism in my parents' efforts and came to terms with my situation. There was no reason to give up now that I have come so far to better my future. What I saw in this financial event was not the end but an obstacle to overcome. An obstacle all my family members faced and overcame with determination and resilience. My financial situation may be an obstacle, but I will not let it determine my future for higher education.

My experience with mental health has altered my perspective of the world, my ability to interact with others, and my way of planning out my life. Struggling with depression as a child, I felt I was alone in the world, that I could never be good enough, and that no matter how hard I worked, it wouldn’t be enough. Both of my parents worked long hours to provide for my family, that I appreciate, but on the down side that they were not available to emotionally support me. However, healing was not easy, and I developed to deal and overcome the challenges I faced. I returned to hobbies that I have always enjoyed ever since I was a young girl, such as painting, crafts, anything that allows me to express how I feel without needing words. During that time, I understood that despite how heavy life seemed, it was up to me to view life how I wanted it to be and the view could not be somber. I wanted to view life in a way that was not against me but a life that was pushing me to improve through difficulties. To fulfill this view, I pushed myself to advance despite the struggle through academics by taking advanced math, AP Physics, AP courses. I have also changed the way I relate with people due to my experiences with mental health. I have discovered the value of listening, showing people that I care, and being emotionally available. I have been lucky to find a partner that I love and that pushes me to be the best version of myself. The experience has also taught me that vulnerability is a strength rather than a weakness. Feeling loved and supported has made me understand the strength of connection and has made me realize that people deserve to be seen. These experiences have naturally led me to the field of engineering, a field that provides impact. Collaborating with others who faced similar challenges has opened my eyes to the power of community and a shared purpose. I believe I should work to develop a positive impact that helps others, improves communities, and in the process, can be an example and a role model for young girls to follow in the STEM fields. Learning from my own experiences, I have come to the realization that pain is necessary to promote growth, isolation can unlock the hidden knowledge of empathy, and difficult times do not mean the end of this story.

Throughout my whole life, youth to mature, I have faced the heavy strain of depression. Depression was an enemy that proved difficult to overcome. It was challenging to overcome that feeling of isolation and guilt about my place in the world that I felt I was not worthy even in my best efforts. Yet, even in that darkness, I found security in my own will. I found many others, isolated, trapped in that endless cycle of not knowing if you meant something, not knowing if there was even a reason to continue. Those alike me overcame their mind, found the knowledge that they were not isolated and that in fact many others felt that same isolation. Seeing how others could overcome the challenge that I felt was unattainable, I soon also found that knowledge to build up the confidence to overcome the challenges within myself. As I grew older, I discovered a passion that challenged me intellectually, that being STEM. I found myself in the pursuit of engineering courses and even in AP Physics, pushing myself to think critically, solve complex problems, and explore how the world works. Though these courses held great determination and focus, they also motivated my desire to overcome. I realized that engineering could be the perfect choice for me to overcome my temporary boundaries and make an impact. Mechanical engineering, for me, represents more than just machinery. It is a field that meets purpose in constructing solutions that can improve lives, rebuild communities, and create opportunities. I am passionate about encouraging more women to enter the field of STEM, fields where women are underrepresented to overcome the untrue social expectation. I hope to use my knowledge, talents, and experiences to create solutions to real world challenges, making life better for others while leaving a powerful impact on my community and even the people I cherish. I believe I am a strong candidate for scholarships because my journey reflects strength, dedication, and persistence. Despite personal struggles, I have found the will to pursue challenging academic goals and build myself through personal growth. I am determined to change the melancholy view on my experiences with depression into an uplifting, changing the balance experience. By combining my engineering skills, determination, creativity, and desire to uplift others, as well as myself, I desire to contribute not only to the field of engineering but also to the lives of society.