My greatest achievement doesn't take form of a trophy, medal, or title. Instead, a concept bigger than all of us -- growth. I take immense pride in the fact that the woman that I am today is not the same woman I was only a few years ago; or yesterday for that matter. It’s no easy feat to leap into a pool of unfamiliarity. Three years ago to the dreaded days of 2020, I didn't see a path for my life. At the time, I was working two jobs, babysitting and fighting familial dysfunction every day. As time went by and society itself started to unravel, I felt devastated by the world around me - a world fueled by oppression. I didn't have the political power, I didn't have the confidence, and I definitely didn't have the riches to make the change that I desperately craved to see. Hell, all I could do was pray my family wasn’t next. I felt alone and insecure all over, struggling to live. I clasped my fingers tight, hoping every day to wake up with a different life, as a different Kyndall, or a different anybody if I could. My grades were slipping. My motivation was lacking. My sense of sanity was fading. I was poor, miserable, drowning in my own self-detriment and couldn’t afford to leave. It all appeared to be endless, leaving me without control. This must be the life that’s meant for me, right? Slaving in this country just to end up with scraps? It was all too familiar. Feeling a lack of purpose, I minimized my voice, and found a warped sense of comfort in binge eating and self-harm, crafting my form of survival in a world I felt was swallowing me whole. The cycle continued. I kept repeating. I wasn't learning, I wasn't changing, I was staying still, slowly falling into the pitch black. It wasn’t until that summer that I scratched, scraped, and crawled my way out of my own pit. I can’t pinpoint what exactly changed my mindset other than the fact that I was tired of being tired. I refused to live like this when I knew in my heart I could be so much more. All those years of doubts, rejections, and disbelief made me defiant for the better. It started slow, but eventually got to the point where I was refuting my supposed unpromise. The chains of indigency and fragility locked onto me through the years were shambling. I was beginning to redefine the woman in the mirror. Proceeding to the present, that same woman is attending Howard University, pursuing her Bachelor's degree damning financial limitations. That woman is working to break generational curses in her profession and uplift the youth as a proud black, queer woman. That woman is fighting to place corporate power in the hands of the marginalized. That woman has transformed her mind, body, and soul to where she doesn’t just speak, she shouts. She has found value in her voice and is proud to express her opinion (even at the occasional annoyance of her inner circle). She stands for not only what she wants but what is deserved. That woman has become everything she thought she could not. She is the woman I now happily see in the mirror. To have gotten myself to where I am now in only a few years is a token of success that I carry with confidence. I, as the woman I’ve become, have continued my journey of growth to where to-do lists have become a staple in my everyday living; my gym is a second home; motivational affirmations are firmly ingrained in my brain. As I continue to evolve, I work to create the change I always wanted - starting with the next generation. I have discovered the true friend, mentor, and teacher deep within me and I plan to use that nurturing nature to pour into younger students and others who need it, supplying a ladder in their deepest pit. Throughout my struggle, I’ve learned that while it is easy to stand still, especially in the face of hardship, change is everything. Life is hard, it can be scary, and it endlessly forces us to adapt even against our own desire. But it is those adaptations that truly shape us and allow us to grow beyond everything we could ever imagine. For I now understand that even when you feel small, you must find a way to keep taking up space.

Early this year, it was said to me "Happiness can't be made, it has to be found". For happiness is not a creation that's just given, it has to be discovered within you and within your environment. I think the thought regarding happiness is that it's expected to just belong to people, as though it can be bought. But at the end of the day, happiness... true happiness is like a lot of the things in this crazy world: it takes work. That's what makes it so special. A concept so bright and important, is so ordinary in the sense that it's not something you're just handed, it's something you have to work for. It's been argued however, that happiness is a creation one with no value other than what it's made to be: an incentive. Some believe happiness doesn't even exist and it's made up while some even believe it's a materialistic creation. While I can understand these perspectives, there's a lack of distinction between temporary happiness and true, authentic happiness. One is short-term and fulfills based on what you think will fulfill you, and the other is one based off of what you need. Something that I've found authentic happiness in is art, whether it's television, music, dance, or simple painting. I've found joy in it after realizing how much I'm interested in it and how much I need it in my life. Finding an interest and following through on it was my own source of eternal happiness and I've never looked back on it. You, yourself have to find true happiness, as unfortunately there's no shortcuts or handouts. But believe me, it's out there and it's waiting for you to find it.

Friendship to me means support and unconditional love. I think looking at the world right now, that that's rare right now. The concept of friendship brings me to think about last year, a year that was extremely challenging for not only me but my best friend going through a serious sports injury. There were several other obstacles that year that added to our struggles but throughout the year we were able to find comfort and stability in each other which was an amazing thing to have. Even though we were in quarantine we found ways to support each other, like FaceTiming each other during classes that we needed help with, going to class together at each others houses, and DoorDashing food to each other. Little things like this were the things that helped keep me afloat and I know it helped her too. However, the little things aren't the only important aspect of friendship. For example, with my best friend we were also there for the rough stuff, like when she went through her first breakup or when she first found out about her injury. It was important for me to stick by her and she always did the same for me. She found ways to hold me down and see me accountable for my responsibilities both in school and at home like missing homework and guaranteeing I was motivated This really just sums up what friendship at least for me looks like which again, is that support and unconditional love. Bring there through thick and thin while also finding ways to hold each other accountable as people, as friends, and as people are incredibly important. At the end of the day, as a friend you're shaping a whole other person whether you know it or not and that's friendship.

There's a lot of benefits from attending an HBCU, many of which go socially unrecognized specifically by non-black individuals which brings me to the motivation for my attendance of an HBCU in my case, Howard University. I want to go to an HBCU to create experiences and use those experiences to bring more awareness not only to HBCU's but the struggle within them and the important history as well. Speaking of history, I also plan on attending Howard University to understand my own history as a black woman. I want to begin a career as either a Campaign Manager or a Publicist and I intend on using my career and the knowledge I've gained from such bright institutions to help the black community that has, as we know, been negatively impacted historically. I personally feel that history has such an impact on where we are now and being at an HBCU will not only open my perspective and knowledge regarding this incredibly important topic but symbolize growth and change for the future as well. Regarding my future as a potential campaign manager, I want to further the political careers of black politicians, putting more of my community into government. By being at an HBCU such as Howard I can understand not only the structures of politics and government but how it relates to the black community both in the past and present which will allow for me to grant more success in my community. Finally, I want to find deeper connections and relationships of black women especially in similar fields like mine to further my goal of helping the black community, helping each other as a whole but also by furthering my own perspective and relationships that will hep me to grow in my career.