In February 2020, I tried to take my own life. I was admitted into inpatient where I stay for a few weeks. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder. I had hit a super low point in my life and had no motivation to do anything. Shortly after being released from the hospital and returning back to school, the Covid-19 pandemic caused my school to shut down for two weeks. Those two weeks turned into the rest of the school year. It was extremely difficult to focus on getting better when I wasn't able to see my friends or even leave my house. This almost 6-month isolation negatively impacted my mental health. I had lots of virtual therapy appointments following the shutdown of everything. I worked so hard to try to get better, but all summer long, the suicidal thoughts wouldn't escape my head. I didn't feel like I belonged in this world; I felt like such a burden on everyone. It was so hard to see what my suicide attempt did to my parents. It tore my whole family apart. Everyone, especially me, was extremely sad all the time. Our way of life completely changed; All the sharps and medicines were in a locked cabinet that I couldn't access. And every time someone needed something out of that locked cabinet, they would complain which made me feel even more awful. I was always getting checked up on and it made me feel like a child. I constantly felt lonely, even when I was surrounded by people. After doing lots of research, I learned about coping skills. I've also found that self-care is a great tool for managing depression. Taking time to focus on your physical and mental health can make a big difference. Regular exercise, healthy eating, and spending time with positive people can all help you to feel better. I make sure to schedule time for activities that I enjoy, such as reading, crafting, or playing music. These activities help to distract me from my depressive thoughts and give me something positive to focus on. I assumed it would be easier for everyone if I was just gone, but I was so wrongly mistaken. As time progressed, my parents showed me all the love they could. I realized how much I really am needed here and that I have a purpose. Of course, I still do have my bad days, but overall my mental health is in a much better place than it was nearly three years ago. My struggles with depression, anxiety, and suicide have helped shaped me to be who I am today and teach me that there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel.

In February 2020, I tried to take my own life. I was admitted into inpatient where I stay for a few weeks. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder. I had hit a super low point in my life and had no motivation to do anything. Shortly after being released from the hospital and returning back to school, the Covid-19 pandemic caused my school to shut down for two weeks. Those two weeks turned into the rest of the school year. It was extremely difficult to focus on getting better when I wasn't able to see my friends or even leave my house. This almost 6-month isolation negatively impacted my mental health. I had lots of virtual therapy appointments following the shutdown of everything. I worked so hard to try to get better, but all summer long, the suicidal thoughts wouldn't escape my head. I didn't feel like I belonged in this world; I felt like such a burden on everyone. It was so hard to see what my suicide attempt did to my parents. It tore my whole family apart. Everyone, especially me, was extremely sad all the time. Our way of life completely changed; All the sharps and medicines were in a locked cabinet that I couldn't access. And every time someone needed something out of that locked cabinet, they would complain which made me feel even more awful. I was always getting checked up on and it made me feel like a child. I constantly felt lonely, even when I was surrounded by people. After doing lots of research, I learned about coping skills. I've also found that self-care is a great tool for managing depression. Taking time to focus on your physical and mental health can make a big difference. Regular exercise, healthy eating, and spending time with positive people can all help you to feel better. I make sure to schedule time for activities that I enjoy, such as reading, crafting, or playing music. These activities help to distract me from my depressive thoughts and give me something positive to focus on. I assumed it would be easier for everyone if I was just gone, but I was so wrongly mistaken. As time progressed, my parents showed me all the love they could. I realized how much I really am needed here and that I have a purpose. Of course, I still do have my bad days, but overall my mental health is in a much better place than it was nearly three years ago. My struggles with depression, anxiety, and suicide have helped shaped me to be who I am today and teach me that there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel.