Hi, my name is Kyla and I currently am going into my sophomore year of college. I’ve always enjoyed going to school to learn about things that heighten my curiosity. Taking on my new journey, as a young adult last year has made me come to a realization I never knew that was right beside me. I am someone who who takes pride in the things I do. As the middle child I grew up having to take the duty of being the older sibling due to my older brother having autism. Knowing the circumstances my single mother would be put in to raise someone with autism, I’ve always felt that this would be something that would change not only her but me forever. I carry a heart of love and always wanting the best for others. Knowing this I have chosen to study in the field of Kinesiology to become a physical therapist. I cherish the idea of helping someone else get back something they’ve always loved or even something they’ve always wanted to do. People always ask me what my reasoning is for going to college. I think my answer to this question will never change because my circumstances haven’t changed. I do it for not only my family as whole but specifically for my mother. I want to be able to get her out of the position she has been living in for years. It is a struggle just to be living and then not having a steady income is even worse. I see the struggle and look in her eyes to having to face another day with making sure her kids are put first. As a woman and of color it is hard to survive. People suffer from low income due to inflation and low income. In this case I have dealt with this all my life. Nowadays it is said that if you haven’t gone to college and graduated with a a degree it will be a lot harder for you to succeed and get a high paying job. When people don’t have the ability to do this it is just the beginning of a long tiring life. I look at my future self and see her buying that home her mother always wanted or that simple piece of clothing she always wanted to put on her body. I aspire and look at my future self as my motivation. I aspire to break that stereotype of not being able to succeed as a woman of color. I want to break that cycle of suffering and hardship. My mother has told me if it takes as many loans to help me go to college and succeed then she would do it all over again if she has too. Seeing the smile that would light up on her face and the sense of not having to worry about anything anymore when I walk across that stage keeps me going. I value this simple thing because family is everything to me. She has been the one by my side for all time. I am able to attend college because of her. I know that deep down inside this new journey makes her feel like a proud and joyful for a better future.

What do you feel when you art, draw, sing, take a pic, sculpt something, or even paint? What are the wonders or descriptive things you express in it? The wonders beyond things that you find in this world can inspire you to do great things and cause you to create a new work like not other. When I feel creative I like to take the time and draw. It sounds so simple of an idea but so fascinating. I draw about the things I imagine and use the inspiration around me to fulfill my illustration. I tend to lean forward to the odd and beautiful wonders of designs. Designs that cause the human eye to look closely upon and study a piece. This piece that I am featuring illustrates the perfect span of the creativeness that pours upon a paper. To the clear distinct pieces of the work to the complex and the intrigued designs it all tells a story. A story that can explain the wonders beyond the world and what can come from behind something so ordinary. It is able to embellish and depict an ordinary object. A simple hat that represents me and the inventive art skills that I express behind it. With this piece I hope it is able to show the world the beauties and the so little things on this earth we take for granted. In the future I plan to take these imaginative designs and create something big that defines our world. Defining our world to its beauties, hardship, complexities and fascination.

It would take 15 kilotons of dynamite to create an explosion like the atomic charge that occurred at Hiroshima. The exact amount of violent force can be inflicted by my twenty-year-old, autistic brother Cameron. His outbursts can decimate a room, create lasting scars on a person's flesh, and his words can burn holes into your heart during his meltdowns. Inside the 6'1, 300-pound frame is a human with the fear of a feral cat, but who can also be as a cuddly teddy bear and as gentle as a lamb. Everyday is an onslaught of questions "what version of Cameron we see today,” “will he lash out or hit us.”``what more can he do to tear our family apart?” I never thought having an autistic brother would cause so much pain, or be so emotionally difficult. I am the second child of four children and the oldest girl. I have always played the role of second mom to help my single mother care for my other three siblings. When I was younger, if she was upset, I was upset, if she was happy, I was delighted. I always wanted her to be okay and know that I would always have her back. By taking on this role, I found myself taking on adult responsibilities and, more importantly, the task of being my brother's keeper. But the responsibility of taking care of someone with so many emotional needs and who is incredibly reactionary to even the kindest words was more than I was truly capable of handling. When my brother was diagnosed with autism, all of the mysteries of his unusual behavior were explained. Unfortunately, we were not given the handbook on how to deal with all of the challenges autism encompasses. He becomes easily frustrated when we don’t understand the endless litany of his demands and this generally leads to confrontation. My role became the negotiator, peacekeeper, referee, and at times the punching bag for his exasperating outbursts. It was never supposed to be like this; he was supposed to take care of me, not the other way around. Counseling sessions, complaints from neighbors, and unexpected police visits to de-escalate situations have become uncomfortably familiar. I felt like I was failing my mother, Cameron, and everyone else involved. We will never know what goes on inside my brother's head, what makes him tick, what causes his explosiveness. I have defused so many situations I have exhausted myself trying to be everything to everyone. But, from all of this chaos, something positive did emerge. I realized that I am simply Kyla; I just need to be responsible for myself and know that I am enough. I can offer love, support, comfort, courage, and even the occasional re-direction, but in the end, I cannot carry the burden of being my brother's keeper. I can love with compassion and try to understand Cameron, but I will never know the thoughts he obsesses over. I have realized I can allow my explosive personality to shine through, impact the world around me and ignite sparks of joy into my life. With that being said, I plan to take those sparks and shine them among people. Thinking of the dream I could live saving lives, counseling people, and helping people pursue their dreams. Pursuing the life that is meant for me the life. I have the heart to to change and encourage our world, so why not to the chance to try it out.

It would take 15 kilotons of dynamite to create an explosion like the atomic charge that occurred at Hiroshima. The exact amount of violent force can be inflicted by my twenty-year-old, autistic brother Cameron. His outbursts can decimate a room, create lasting scars on a person's flesh, and his words can burn holes into your heart during his meltdowns. Inside the 6'1, 300-pound frame is a human with the fear of a feral cat, but who can also be as a cuddly teddy bear and as gentle as a lamb. Everyday is an onslaught of questions "what version of Cameron we see today,” “will he lash out or hit us.”``what more can he do to tear our family apart?” I never thought having an autistic brother would cause so much pain, or be so emotionally difficult. I am the second child of four children and the oldest girl. I have always played the role of second mom to help my single mother care for my other three siblings. When I was younger, if she was upset, I was upset, if she was happy, I was delighted. I always wanted her to be okay and know that I would always have her back. By taking on this role, I found myself taking on adult responsibilities and, more importantly, the task of being my brother's keeper. But the responsibility of taking care of someone with so many emotional needs and who is incredibly reactionary to even the kindest words was more than I was truly capable of handling. When my brother was diagnosed with autism, all of the mysteries of his unusual behavior were explained. Unfortunately, we were not given the handbook on how to deal with all of the challenges autism encompasses. He becomes easily frustrated when we don’t understand the endless litany of his demands and this generally leads to confrontation. My role became the negotiator, peacekeeper, referee, and at times the punching bag for his exasperating outbursts. It was never supposed to be like this; he was supposed to take care of me, not the other way around. Counseling sessions, complaints from neighbors, and unexpected police visits to de-escalate situations have become uncomfortably familiar. I felt like I was failing my mother, Cameron, and everyone else involved. We will never know what goes on inside my brother's head, what makes him tick, what causes his explosiveness. I have defused so many situations I have exhausted myself trying to be everything to everyone. But, from all of this chaos, something positive did emerge. I realized that I am simply Kyla; I just need to be responsible for myself and know that I am enough. I can offer love, support, comfort, courage, and even the occasional re-direction, but in the end, I cannot carry the burden of being my brother's keeper. I can love with compassion and try to understand Cameron, but I will never know the thoughts he obsesses over. I have realized I can allow my explosive personality to shine through, impact the world around me and ignite sparks of joy into my life.