My biological mother never wanted to be a mother. It was a struggle for her when she found out I was on the way. She was encouraged to have a family member adopt me as a newborn. She chose not to follow that path. Growing up with her as a parent, I wish she had. She battled her own addictions of alcohol and drugs and often lost to their pull. Leaving me alone or unattended in a house of strangers put me at risk from an early age. It was not until I realized a normal life was something else that I was able to start setting guidelines for what a mother meant to me. I did not have a lot of examples of good mothers, but I had many examples of what not to do. Years later when I discovered my first pregnancy, I knew I had to make the best choices for my child and not just myself. I had to be aware of addiction in my genetics. I never allowed myself to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. I refused cigarettes as a calming tactic out of fear one obsession would grow into a need for more. The mentality that I had to be better than my own mother became my obsession. My children were the only thing that mattered. I had to be sure they knew it. Years into my parenting and I was still putting many of my desires as a last priority, even my dreams. My children are now mixed in age from young adulthood to brand new teenagers. I have had to learn that the overcompensation from my own mother’s actions could be just as harmful to myself as giving into an addiction. Perhaps not physically, but the mental stress I caused myself by trying so hard to be better was taxing my body as well as my mind. I have learned to balance the need to be better with my knowledge that I did a wonderful job. My children have become successful in many avenues of life, while the younger ones have started to set their paths. I quickly realized I could find a balance between being selfish and being a mother. I returned to school for the first time in over twenty years. I have begun my journey toward holistic healing. The miraculous part of the story is my mother, requesting natural healing for her broken body so she does not have to turn back to the possibility of addiction to medical prescriptions. The lessons were not always easy. Everyone’s journey through being raised by a single parent and becoming a parent themselves is unique. My progress through this life has proven to be one of determination, endurance, and at times pure luck. The protection I received from a higher power at an early age was significant, without it, I might not have had the chance to live my own life to the fullest. Turning the negative example shown me into a positive allowed my children to learn they were loved, cared for, and prioritized through their youth. In an unforeseen way, I must be grateful for the life she gave me. It allowed me to become who I am today.